Scan barcode
A review by lory_enterenchanted
Every Family Has A Story: How we inherit love and loss by Julia Samuel
Did not finish book. Stopped at 0%.
This book was not what I expected. I thought it would go into how trauma in past generations affects the present. It glanced at that idea but didn't go deeply into it. In the first story seemed like a missed opportunity -- the main client was a man who found out the father who'd raised him was not his biological father, but the mother was too much lost in her own world to become part of the conversation, and once the man found out who his father was, it was just left at that. The next two stories were not around crises, which was refreshing, but some troubling elements came up that were not addressed. I stopped reading at this point.
Overall, the book could have been called "Every Therapist Has a Story," because it was so much about Samuel's own experiences and impressions rather than those of the actual families. She was constantly making assumptions and interpretations, which of course one does when meeting and assessing people, but she never bothered to check whether her notions were true. This, along with the missed opportunities to go deeper, made the whole process seem quite superficial.
A quote that stood out: "From my own experience and what I have learnt from the families in this book, when comparing non-biologically and biologically related families, the stories we tell ourselves become who we are. When we are told truthful stories, we trust that we are loved and belong. And we thrive, whatever our genetic inheritance or connection." (Introduction)
Also interesting was the "Do you know" scale - developed by Dr Marshall Duke and Dr Robyn Fivush to ask adolescents about their family. "They found those who knew more of their family history showed higher levels of self-esteem, lower levels of behavior problems and more self-efficacy -- they trusted they could influence their world." (The Wynne Family)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-stories-our-lives/201611/the-do-you-know-20-questions-about-family-stories
Overall, the book could have been called "Every Therapist Has a Story," because it was so much about Samuel's own experiences and impressions rather than those of the actual families. She was constantly making assumptions and interpretations, which of course one does when meeting and assessing people, but she never bothered to check whether her notions were true. This, along with the missed opportunities to go deeper, made the whole process seem quite superficial.
A quote that stood out: "From my own experience and what I have learnt from the families in this book, when comparing non-biologically and biologically related families, the stories we tell ourselves become who we are. When we are told truthful stories, we trust that we are loved and belong. And we thrive, whatever our genetic inheritance or connection." (Introduction)
Also interesting was the "Do you know" scale - developed by Dr Marshall Duke and Dr Robyn Fivush to ask adolescents about their family. "They found those who knew more of their family history showed higher levels of self-esteem, lower levels of behavior problems and more self-efficacy -- they trusted they could influence their world." (The Wynne Family)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-stories-our-lives/201611/the-do-you-know-20-questions-about-family-stories