Scan barcode
A review by sarahrosebooks
If I Die Before I Wake by Emily Koch
3.0
See, books like this, that have writing plastered all over the cover and on the inside that it is 'a stunning edge-of-your-seat psychological thriller with an unforgettable narrator' and 'rated five stars by real readers' and also has the tag line of 'how do you solve your own murder', immediately makes me think that this is going to be an amazing book.
It also makes me suspicious, which is a good thing, as the suspicion checks my initial enthusiasm and means I don't go in with such high expectations. With this one, I went in thinking surely it can't be as good as all that, and it wasn't. But that doesn't mean that I thought this book was bad. I rated it three stars, so I still enjoyed it. I read it very quickly, as well, so it was good enough to keep me reading even when I came across things I didn't like.
Now, I should have prefaced this review with something of a disclaimer - I am not a medical professional, nor am I an expert on climbing or police procedure. But I am commenting on some of those things here, so correct me if I am wrong. It seems the author did her research on the condition that Alex finds himself in (something like locked-in syndrome perhaps?) and on the climbing aspects and police procedures, but to me, it all seemed a bit like... well, like I had to make allowances for it being a novel, and that it was done this way for the sake of the story. Maybe it was.
The author thanks a Richard Marsh, amongst others, at the end of the book. Richard Marsh is a survivor of locked in syndrome (survivors of this are rare, apparently). Locked in syndrome apparently happens to a small number of people who have had a stroke. It appears in a lot of cases that those with locked in syndrome can communicate by blinking. Also, there is a difference between a coma and a vegetative state - from what I have read, a coma generally lasts for a few weeks, and the patient will be completely unresponsive, whereas in a vegetative state will last a lot longer and the patient's eyes may be open at times and they may move or react to things involuntarily.
In Alex's case, it appears that he has locked in syndrome, but has not had a stroke, and that this came about instead because of his climbing accident. The doctors refer to him as being in a vegetative state and recommend turning off life support. I was very sceptical of the medical situation that Alex was in. I didn't quite buy the locked-in syndrome (although it is never really explicitly stated to be that) or that he could be as cognitively aware as he was in a vegetative state.
I also didn't think it was very plausible that the doctors and nurses would allow the things they did in this book, particularly in a UK hospital. On one occasion a couple eats an Indian take away in the hospital room next to Alex's bed. On various occasions there are blazing rows and confrontations, which I suspect would have been quickly shut down in a real life situation.
As for the plot itself, while I thought it quite a unique take on things, and liked Alex as a narrator, I didn't think it to be quite 'edge-of-your-seat' or as compelling and exhilarating as the reviews said. It started off slow, introducing us to the characters, and the situation Alex was in, what his emotions were, and how he came to suspect his accident wasn't an accident at all. There were a lot of convenient moments where couples would discuss private things only when they came to a public hospital to visit Alex, or where there would be phone calls and such (I don't know about you, but I've never been able to make a phone call in a hospital ward - the signal is generally rubbish). The plot only really got going towards the latter half of the book, and the eventual big reveal was quite disappointing. I thought it would be a more interesting conclusion than what it was.
Overall, I had a lot of thoughts about this, and ended up suspending my disbelief too many times for me to truly love it like others seem to.
It also makes me suspicious, which is a good thing, as the suspicion checks my initial enthusiasm and means I don't go in with such high expectations. With this one, I went in thinking surely it can't be as good as all that, and it wasn't. But that doesn't mean that I thought this book was bad. I rated it three stars, so I still enjoyed it. I read it very quickly, as well, so it was good enough to keep me reading even when I came across things I didn't like.
Now, I should have prefaced this review with something of a disclaimer - I am not a medical professional, nor am I an expert on climbing or police procedure. But I am commenting on some of those things here, so correct me if I am wrong. It seems the author did her research on the condition that Alex finds himself in (something like locked-in syndrome perhaps?) and on the climbing aspects and police procedures, but to me, it all seemed a bit like... well, like I had to make allowances for it being a novel, and that it was done this way for the sake of the story. Maybe it was.
The author thanks a Richard Marsh, amongst others, at the end of the book. Richard Marsh is a survivor of locked in syndrome (survivors of this are rare, apparently). Locked in syndrome apparently happens to a small number of people who have had a stroke. It appears in a lot of cases that those with locked in syndrome can communicate by blinking. Also, there is a difference between a coma and a vegetative state - from what I have read, a coma generally lasts for a few weeks, and the patient will be completely unresponsive, whereas in a vegetative state will last a lot longer and the patient's eyes may be open at times and they may move or react to things involuntarily.
In Alex's case, it appears that he has locked in syndrome, but has not had a stroke, and that this came about instead because of his climbing accident. The doctors refer to him as being in a vegetative state and recommend turning off life support. I was very sceptical of the medical situation that Alex was in. I didn't quite buy the locked-in syndrome (although it is never really explicitly stated to be that) or that he could be as cognitively aware as he was in a vegetative state.
Spoiler
Also, the brain scans, which apparently are good for detecting things such as locked in syndrome, showed nothing, which I again didn't buy. Surely they would have detected something if he was as cognitively aware as he seemed to be?I also didn't think it was very plausible that the doctors and nurses would allow the things they did in this book, particularly in a UK hospital. On one occasion a couple eats an Indian take away in the hospital room next to Alex's bed. On various occasions there are blazing rows and confrontations, which I suspect would have been quickly shut down in a real life situation.
Spoiler
At the end of the book, Bea and Cameron have a confrontation in Alex's hospital room, during which Cameron reveals to Bea that he has knife. I thought this to be quite ridiculous. Not one person stopped Cameron in all the times he visited? He threatened to kill Bea in Alex's room and no one stopped to notice this? Were there no windows in to the room, not even through the door? In our local hospital, the wards are locked, and you have to press a buzzer to gain entrance. There are streams of people everywhere, and most private rooms even have windows allowing people to see what is going on. It just seems very extreme that all this could happen without anyone noticing.As for the plot itself, while I thought it quite a unique take on things, and liked Alex as a narrator, I didn't think it to be quite 'edge-of-your-seat' or as compelling and exhilarating as the reviews said. It started off slow, introducing us to the characters, and the situation Alex was in, what his emotions were, and how he came to suspect his accident wasn't an accident at all. There were a lot of convenient moments where couples would discuss private things only when they came to a public hospital to visit Alex, or where there would be phone calls and such (I don't know about you, but I've never been able to make a phone call in a hospital ward - the signal is generally rubbish). The plot only really got going towards the latter half of the book, and the eventual big reveal was quite disappointing. I thought it would be a more interesting conclusion than what it was.
Overall, I had a lot of thoughts about this, and ended up suspending my disbelief too many times for me to truly love it like others seem to.