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A review by saraanneb3
Grief Is for People by Sloane Crosley
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.5
I went back and forth between a 4 and a 5. On the one hand I stayed up really late finishing it in one night which should make it a 5 and I was really compelled by her way of framing her grief and telling this story.
But I also thought that the prolonged assessment of the pandemic didn't quite gel with the rest of the book, and when she begins trying to analyze Russell's frustration at work, I think she went too far into speculation (and assumption that we all are riveted by publishing scandals--I had no idea what she was talking about and had to look it up). I suspect some of that analysis is lacking because it's hard to honestly assess a very close friend who died so traumatically, and to admit that he may have been a problem at his workplace--which doesn't negate her grief, but it's something she doesn't seem able to face. By the end I thought that absolutely her grief is real, and just as valid as other griefs, and that maybe she didn't know her friend as well as she believes she did.
I found myself wishing she had some ritual or traditions--not necessarily a funeral or a memorial service, just that she and her circle of friends are so overwhelmed with grief, and a lot of my job is to deal with that, I say "okay I will make this decision, I will handle this" etc because I know that at that moment the bereaved just can't. I kept wishing she had had someone like that, and someone to create meaningful tradition or ritual for her in her grief.
Anyhow a riveting and heartbreaking read and a good description of what a friend feels grieving another friend
But I also thought that the prolonged assessment of the pandemic didn't quite gel with the rest of the book, and when she begins trying to analyze Russell's frustration at work, I think she went too far into speculation (and assumption that we all are riveted by publishing scandals--I had no idea what she was talking about and had to look it up). I suspect some of that analysis is lacking because it's hard to honestly assess a very close friend who died so traumatically, and to admit that he may have been a problem at his workplace--which doesn't negate her grief, but it's something she doesn't seem able to face. By the end I thought that absolutely her grief is real, and just as valid as other griefs, and that maybe she didn't know her friend as well as she believes she did.
I found myself wishing she had some ritual or traditions--not necessarily a funeral or a memorial service, just that she and her circle of friends are so overwhelmed with grief, and a lot of my job is to deal with that, I say "okay I will make this decision, I will handle this" etc because I know that at that moment the bereaved just can't. I kept wishing she had had someone like that, and someone to create meaningful tradition or ritual for her in her grief.
Anyhow a riveting and heartbreaking read and a good description of what a friend feels grieving another friend
Content Warnings
Moderate: Suicide