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fakenietzsche 's review for:
Too Like the Lightning
by Ada Palmer
I really wanted to like this book -- it is written by a noted historian of Renaissance and Enlightenment philosophy, of course I want to LOVE it! But oh man, was it a slog. There are several problems:
1) The dialogue is terrible. When it isn't stilted and awkward, it sounds like a bunch of pre-teens. Here's an example: "Dominic! Where have you been? You're wet and stinky!" That's spoken by someone who is supposed to be a) an adult, and b) a powerful world leader to their sociopathic lover who is also supposed to be an adult.
2) The world makes little sense, and the narrator doesn't do us any favors with their ridiculous descriptions. The idea of a post-nation-state world of overlapping legal spheres and cultures is interesting, but the characterization of these groups and their ideologies is juvenile. There's the group that's all about sports & individual achievement! Then a group that's really nice and wants to help people! And a group that buys real estate! And one that's into technology! And one that's, uh, European! And apparently the main features that distinguish all these people from one another are their boots and different colored sashes and super-tech cloaks. I feel like Palmer was going for a mood like Herbert's DUNE, where the reader is thrust into a complicated and confusing world and has to figure out the politics and systems, but it Just. Doesn't. Work.
3) The narrator's THEEs and THOUs are distracting and pointless. Why does this person write this way, when no one else in the story uses those words? Who knows!
4) Similarly, whatever the author is trying to say about gender is horribly muddled and also distracting and pointless. I guess in this future most people wear gender-neutral clothing, except when they don't? And sometimes the narrator switches between calling a character he and she because .... reasons. Why does he keep calling one character a witch, then chiding himself in the ventriloquized voice of a frustrated reader? Who knows!
5) For a story with supposedly global implications, it sure seems like it's a small group of about 5-10 people who actually matter. And lucky for us, our narrator is personally connected to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. This is like bad sci fi shows where the same 5 actors do EVERYTHING, while dozens of unnamed extras run around in the background.
6) The author has too many big "asks" for the reader, right at the beginning. It is one thing to ask us to accept a strange future world with different politics and gender ideologies. OK, that's fine. But then to immediately introduce a character who can literally perform miracles with no explanation of how or why or what the hell -- it is just too much. It's a hat on a hat ... on a hat on a hat. And it isn't really like the kid is all that important to the story AT ALL. Maybe in volume 2? But I'll never know, because lord knows I'm not putting in the effort to read another 500 pages of this...
7) The big mystery that launches the story -- it isn't the kid who can perform miracles, by the way! -- is ... a stolen newspaper article that ranks politicians (who the reader doesn't know anything about!) by popularity. We are supposed to believe that this list is SHOCKING and potentially DESTABILIZING because it is slightly different than the other lists of mostly the same unknown characters published by other newspapers and OH MY GOD WHO CARES.
8) A bunch of the high-powered politician characters hang out in a faux-18th century brothel for some reason, and I guess we are supposed to be scandalized and titillated by the scene of them sitting around talking politics in between bouts of fingering each other. Oooh, how risque and taboo (*rolling eyes*)
There are so many other little bits and pieces I could complain about. The big reveal about the narrator's backstory is clumsy, and I'm not sure what at all it adds to the story. The idea that millions of flying cars are controlled by two-cyborg enhanced children plugged into a computer. The guy who says things like, "He's a 12-3-4-55-11-23, not a 12-4-4-22-11-24!" The vague attempts at filling out the popular culture of the world with the side note that one of the characters is a popular movie star but almost no other detail. The weird sex writing in the few sex scenes (the book includes the opening chapter of the sequel Seven Surrenders, which is basically a rape scene). The awkward, annoying insistence on almost always referring to one character as J.E.D.D. Mason. The list could go on and on.
I'm sure the author had some really good ideas -- she seems uber smart in her scholarship -- but the execution was sorely, sorely lacking.
1) The dialogue is terrible. When it isn't stilted and awkward, it sounds like a bunch of pre-teens. Here's an example: "Dominic! Where have you been? You're wet and stinky!" That's spoken by someone who is supposed to be a) an adult, and b) a powerful world leader to their sociopathic lover who is also supposed to be an adult.
2) The world makes little sense, and the narrator doesn't do us any favors with their ridiculous descriptions. The idea of a post-nation-state world of overlapping legal spheres and cultures is interesting, but the characterization of these groups and their ideologies is juvenile. There's the group that's all about sports & individual achievement! Then a group that's really nice and wants to help people! And a group that buys real estate! And one that's into technology! And one that's, uh, European! And apparently the main features that distinguish all these people from one another are their boots and different colored sashes and super-tech cloaks. I feel like Palmer was going for a mood like Herbert's DUNE, where the reader is thrust into a complicated and confusing world and has to figure out the politics and systems, but it Just. Doesn't. Work.
3) The narrator's THEEs and THOUs are distracting and pointless. Why does this person write this way, when no one else in the story uses those words? Who knows!
4) Similarly, whatever the author is trying to say about gender is horribly muddled and also distracting and pointless. I guess in this future most people wear gender-neutral clothing, except when they don't? And sometimes the narrator switches between calling a character he and she because .... reasons. Why does he keep calling one character a witch, then chiding himself in the ventriloquized voice of a frustrated reader? Who knows!
5) For a story with supposedly global implications, it sure seems like it's a small group of about 5-10 people who actually matter. And lucky for us, our narrator is personally connected to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. This is like bad sci fi shows where the same 5 actors do EVERYTHING, while dozens of unnamed extras run around in the background.
6) The author has too many big "asks" for the reader, right at the beginning. It is one thing to ask us to accept a strange future world with different politics and gender ideologies. OK, that's fine. But then to immediately introduce a character who can literally perform miracles with no explanation of how or why or what the hell -- it is just too much. It's a hat on a hat ... on a hat on a hat. And it isn't really like the kid is all that important to the story AT ALL. Maybe in volume 2? But I'll never know, because lord knows I'm not putting in the effort to read another 500 pages of this...
7) The big mystery that launches the story -- it isn't the kid who can perform miracles, by the way! -- is ... a stolen newspaper article that ranks politicians (who the reader doesn't know anything about!) by popularity. We are supposed to believe that this list is SHOCKING and potentially DESTABILIZING because it is slightly different than the other lists of mostly the same unknown characters published by other newspapers and OH MY GOD WHO CARES.
8) A bunch of the high-powered politician characters hang out in a faux-18th century brothel for some reason, and I guess we are supposed to be scandalized and titillated by the scene of them sitting around talking politics in between bouts of fingering each other. Oooh, how risque and taboo (*rolling eyes*)
There are so many other little bits and pieces I could complain about. The big reveal about the narrator's backstory is clumsy, and I'm not sure what at all it adds to the story. The idea that millions of flying cars are controlled by two-cyborg enhanced children plugged into a computer. The guy who says things like, "He's a 12-3-4-55-11-23, not a 12-4-4-22-11-24!" The vague attempts at filling out the popular culture of the world with the side note that one of the characters is a popular movie star but almost no other detail. The weird sex writing in the few sex scenes (the book includes the opening chapter of the sequel Seven Surrenders, which is basically a rape scene). The awkward, annoying insistence on almost always referring to one character as J.E.D.D. Mason. The list could go on and on.
I'm sure the author had some really good ideas -- she seems uber smart in her scholarship -- but the execution was sorely, sorely lacking.