A review by rachelmerrie
Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults, and Beliefs by Steven Hassan

3.0

I’m not claiming to know more than this doctor with 30+ years of experience, but I do believe that many of his recommendations were tactics I’ve used many times. It could be because of the people I was raised around or my educational background, but not much in this book was revolutionary to me personally. With that, there were many things I didn’t agree with, mainly the idea that in order to maintain relationships with people in “cults”, we need to communicate with them the way they want and need to be communicated with. He also suggested people on the outside of cults be apologetic and choose our words wisely when speaking to “cult member”. I don’t think it’s fair to the people who lose loved ones to “cults” to have to be the people to do everything they can to maintain the relationship the way the “cult member” sees fit. Every single person on this planet faces hardships, some more than others, some more “drastic” than others. These hardships do not give a single person the right to treat other people like garbage. In the moment, irrational reactions happen, but repetitive behavior is unacceptable (in my strongest opinion). It is no one’s responsibility to get someone out of a “cult” or change someone’s mindset but the person who is in said “cult”/mindset. Loving someone and wanting them in your life is one thing, but taking on the burden to bend over backwards to maintain that relationship will only lead to resentment, false expectations, and disappointment.