A review by vailtoset10
But How Are You, Really by Ella Dawson

challenging dark emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

This book came to me at a moment that was perfect and exactly when I needed it. Theoretically this should have been the ten year reunion from my college graduation. Instead I flunked out 3 times and have no real purpose in life. I'm an entry level call center employee with no direction and a mother who hates me.

Sound familiar? Yeah. I'm Charlotte (and a few others).

Callie Charlotte was not a show dog for their her mother to groom and correct and compare with other daughters at her church country club. Third, abuse took many forms, from violence to control to neglect. 

This was the moment I realized this book was going to be a doozy and I was right. I sobbed so many times reading this book. I wept with every breakdown from Charlotte because they were the same breakdowns I've been having for years.

Dawson understood me on a level I haven't felt in so long from a novel. It was beautiful, moving, and powerful as a lost, mentally ill, queer 32 year old.

There was no point dwelling on that chapter of her past. Nothing anyone said would make it less infuriating and sad. She would always be estranged from her family, and she didn’t need that to change. She didn’t want it to.

Family was who shared their fries with you.

This is exactly how I feel, and will keep in mind and have framed when I go no contact with my biological family.

It didn’t matter that they worked in different fields: They shared the fear that they were scrambling up a down escalator. And in a cruel twist, if they got lucky enough to land those dream jobs, they turned out to be nightmares.

This is it. This is exactly how everyone in my friend group feels. 

Why is this book so good? Because of moments like this.
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