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A review by jordannchloee
Home and Away by Cam Montgomery
1.0
*Deep, ancestral, heavy heavy heavy breath*
What, oh what, can I say about this book. I really wanted to like this book. This was an anticipated read for me. But I, multiple times, almost didn't finish. Multiple times, put the book down.
I want to say it is because I am too old to have related to Tasia. I'm not. I'm newly 21. And Tasia infuriated the ever loving crap out of me. The box, which was presented early on as the central exploration and driving motivation, was not explored very thoroughly at all. Football was a distraction and so so much of her identity. Like, too much. She didn't really seem to know herself.
The plot, overall, felt jumpy. Shakey. There were many many skips where I was unsure where we were in the plot, in the universe, etc. Things happened so irregularly, it was like novelistic ping pong. The writing was fine but it also felt like she was trying to seem young. IDK how old the author was when she started the book but it felt like forced youth. From the Instagram names to the vernacular.
But Tasia, I could deal with. The plot, I could follow. What really made this a one star book for me was the uncle fucking for God's sake, and what felt like the co-opting of queerness and blackness. The uncle fucking I can't get over. You're telling me, her MAIN LOVE INTEREST, HER ONLY LOVE INTEREST, is her adopted uncle??? and it is never brought up again. As soon as he is introduced as her adopted uncle its just like okay cool. Then they fuck??? on the ground???? boo boo boo no. I can't get over it. I won't get over it. You can't convince me that girl's black ass mama didn't say "yo. the uncle fucking has GOT to stop honey baby". The UNCLE FUCKING!!!!
Secondly, I felt, and I may be wrong, that the queerness and blackness in the book was being itemized, sold, and co-opted throughout the text. To begin, Kai's queerness is like half of what we know about him. It is his whole identity. I also don't like the one known bisexual character being seen as fast, multiple partners, sexually crazy, etc. Didn't like it. Even the non binary characters were seemingly coopted, seemingly inserted as performative allegiances. I know this isn't the case cause on the author's website, she notes she is non-binary. But, I would've wanted to know more about them being non-binary. Also!!! speaking of knowing more. Tasia just talks bro. Like you can't know someone has Tourettes just by looking at them. You can't. That was a bit abelist to me. Re her blackness, I just felt like it did not have to break her world so much that she was half white. Baby doll you didn't see the light skin privilege you got your whole life???? You didn't see it? And pitting her against the one other black girl until the very in felt so so so weirdddd to me like that should have been her solace and comfort not her anger. And I don't even know why they were arguing! It was not explained!!!!!! OHHHH and when she said "black girl magic" after kneeling at the football game? and black boy joy? That come out of nowhere. That felt like a forced insertion in the name of political statements. That, that, that was the straw that broke the uncle fucking camels back. It had to be a one star after that. Because, it felt so so forced. I couldn't do it.
As I started with, I wanted so desperately to like this book. So badly, I wanted to love it. But, there were too many stops in the road. Too many things prevented me from liking this book. And that, is so sad. The one star is for the attempt I do see at creating a critically conscious, queer, black book. The attempt was there. Like, in actuality, this may even be a 1.5 star for me. It just missed the mark.
What, oh what, can I say about this book. I really wanted to like this book. This was an anticipated read for me. But I, multiple times, almost didn't finish. Multiple times, put the book down.
I want to say it is because I am too old to have related to Tasia. I'm not. I'm newly 21. And Tasia infuriated the ever loving crap out of me. The box, which was presented early on as the central exploration and driving motivation, was not explored very thoroughly at all. Football was a distraction and so so much of her identity. Like, too much. She didn't really seem to know herself.
The plot, overall, felt jumpy. Shakey. There were many many skips where I was unsure where we were in the plot, in the universe, etc. Things happened so irregularly, it was like novelistic ping pong. The writing was fine but it also felt like she was trying to seem young. IDK how old the author was when she started the book but it felt like forced youth. From the Instagram names to the vernacular.
But Tasia, I could deal with. The plot, I could follow. What really made this a one star book for me was the uncle fucking for God's sake, and what felt like the co-opting of queerness and blackness. The uncle fucking I can't get over. You're telling me, her MAIN LOVE INTEREST, HER ONLY LOVE INTEREST, is her adopted uncle??? and it is never brought up again. As soon as he is introduced as her adopted uncle its just like okay cool. Then they fuck??? on the ground???? boo boo boo no. I can't get over it. I won't get over it. You can't convince me that girl's black ass mama didn't say "yo. the uncle fucking has GOT to stop honey baby". The UNCLE FUCKING!!!!
Secondly, I felt, and I may be wrong, that the queerness and blackness in the book was being itemized, sold, and co-opted throughout the text. To begin, Kai's queerness is like half of what we know about him. It is his whole identity. I also don't like the one known bisexual character being seen as fast, multiple partners, sexually crazy, etc. Didn't like it. Even the non binary characters were seemingly coopted, seemingly inserted as performative allegiances. I know this isn't the case cause on the author's website, she notes she is non-binary. But, I would've wanted to know more about them being non-binary. Also!!! speaking of knowing more. Tasia just talks bro. Like you can't know someone has Tourettes just by looking at them. You can't. That was a bit abelist to me. Re her blackness, I just felt like it did not have to break her world so much that she was half white. Baby doll you didn't see the light skin privilege you got your whole life???? You didn't see it? And pitting her against the one other black girl until the very in felt so so so weirdddd to me like that should have been her solace and comfort not her anger. And I don't even know why they were arguing! It was not explained!!!!!! OHHHH and when she said "black girl magic" after kneeling at the football game? and black boy joy? That come out of nowhere. That felt like a forced insertion in the name of political statements. That, that, that was the straw that broke the uncle fucking camels back. It had to be a one star after that. Because, it felt so so forced. I couldn't do it.
As I started with, I wanted so desperately to like this book. So badly, I wanted to love it. But, there were too many stops in the road. Too many things prevented me from liking this book. And that, is so sad. The one star is for the attempt I do see at creating a critically conscious, queer, black book. The attempt was there. Like, in actuality, this may even be a 1.5 star for me. It just missed the mark.