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A review by bookshelfd
Raising Human Beings: Creating a Collaborative Partnership with Your Child by Ross W. Greene
5.0
I worked through this book really, really slowly because frankly, there were sections I needed to revisit as situations came up in parenting and practice that necessitated a review.
Dr. Greene’s perspective is such a contrast from the way that we usually pit adults against the children they care for, in adversarial conflicts of disciplinary strategies that feel exhausting before we even begin. Raising Human Beings presupposes something that shouldn’t be radical at all: that kids are human beings with a vested interest in who they are and who they are becoming, whose conflicts and competencies require a collaborative approach led by caregiving adults. Dr. Greene provides frameworks and skill building to guide kids through these collaborations so that we grow accustomed to finding solutions together when difficulties arise, rather than jumping in with imposed punishments, mandatory solutions, or forced compliance—-all of which can leave kids unsure how to handle their own problems as they find themselves increasingly responsible for their own circumstances.
I wanted to wait until I had time to see this framework in action for a good while before writing a review, and I can now say that this really has been a positive paradigm shift in our family. Our kid can identify both emergent problems and possible solutions, and we’ve been able to try out solutions knowing that we can re-evaluate later with opportunities to appreciate what works and tweak what doesn’t. This model is allowing him to build competencies that parent-directed discipline without collaboration would not provide.
Dr. Greene’s perspective is such a contrast from the way that we usually pit adults against the children they care for, in adversarial conflicts of disciplinary strategies that feel exhausting before we even begin. Raising Human Beings presupposes something that shouldn’t be radical at all: that kids are human beings with a vested interest in who they are and who they are becoming, whose conflicts and competencies require a collaborative approach led by caregiving adults. Dr. Greene provides frameworks and skill building to guide kids through these collaborations so that we grow accustomed to finding solutions together when difficulties arise, rather than jumping in with imposed punishments, mandatory solutions, or forced compliance—-all of which can leave kids unsure how to handle their own problems as they find themselves increasingly responsible for their own circumstances.
I wanted to wait until I had time to see this framework in action for a good while before writing a review, and I can now say that this really has been a positive paradigm shift in our family. Our kid can identify both emergent problems and possible solutions, and we’ve been able to try out solutions knowing that we can re-evaluate later with opportunities to appreciate what works and tweak what doesn’t. This model is allowing him to build competencies that parent-directed discipline without collaboration would not provide.