A review by starrysteph
The First Bright Thing by J.R. Dawson

dark emotional hopeful reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.25

The First Bright Thing was a complicated journey through an abusive relationship - wrapped in a very magical, very Jewish, very queer, time-traveling atmosphere.

In a world where a small percentage of people (“Sparks”) developed magical powers, we follow Ringmaster Rin and her troupe of loveable outcasts. Rin has the power to jump through space and time, her wife Odette is both a trapeze artist and a healer, and their best friend Maude can peer into the future. 

So they bring the Circus of the Fantasticals all around the country – and always change the life of one particular person in the audience.

It’s 1926, and everyone feels relieved that the war to end all wars is finally over. But Rin, Odette, and Maude know there is more to come. And Rin has more immediate troubles, too: the Circus King is after her and her family. And his dark tents and darker, manipulative magic won’t stop until he has what he wants.

It’s a heightened version of an abusive cycle - where the abuser’s manipulative prowess becomes an ACTUAL magical power. While there is hope and love, this is a dark story. We watch Rin violently struggle to separate her thoughts from her husband’s. Though the story begins after she has built a new life for herself, she is not free from his influence nor his gaslighting. She self harms in a myriad of ways. 

This is often a horror book.

In addition to the abuse, the trio is struggling with the knowledge of upcoming World War II. They see devastation everywhere, and how outsiders like themselves are targeted. They want safety and peace, but it seems impossible. 

So how do they grapple with all this pain and abuse? Rin - whose past memories are a bit jumbled - pulls from her Jewish childhood. She strives to do mitzvahs every day (sometimes sacrificing her own health and happiness) and ponders teshuvah (returning home). There are beautiful, shining morsels of finding home, family, and love after and amidst devastation. And they are created from Rin’s Jewish values. 

“What is the absence of love called? It’s not hate. It’s not even apathy. The word lives in the anticipation of waiting for someone who will never come home.”

I loved how the story highlighted art as transformation, especially for a war-broken society that desperately needed something more than darkness. The descriptions of the performances themselves were a strong point.

My biggest struggle here was the writing. I could see the vision, but the sentences themselves were often clunky and awkward, and the pacing with the back-and-forth time jumps was not quite right. Things were explained very slowly over and over. It was hard to get into the flow of the story when you’re sinking into repetitive darkness. 

I also think the author was juggling a few too many characters, and I wish more time had been spent developing a small supporting cast in addition to the trio. I appreciated how the magical realism elements (the Sparks’ powers) were ways of reshaping their trauma, but we didn’t get to linger in those threads enough.  

But overall, this is a book I’d recommend. If you can handle a lot of pain, there are beautiful moments of Jewish & queer joy that you’ll get to soak in. 

CW: war, emotional domestic abuse, toxic relationship, gaslighting, alcoholism, murder, death, homophobia, antisemitism, grief, death of parent, gore, gun violence, suicidal thoughts, sexism, child abuse, stalking, genocide, psychosis, pandemic, vomit

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