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A review by jwordsmith
Good Friends: Bonds That Change Us and the World by Priya Vulchi
3.0
This is a call for us to reconsider the importance of friendship in our lives, and to elevate it to the status we currently only seem to afford to romantic relationships.
I'm all for that.
I also applaud the author for centering various Black friendships---mostly among Black intellectuals of the 20th century---in addition to reaching into perhaps more traditional sources (Western Classical and Enlightenment writings), intertwining them with personal stories of her own friendships.
She addresses the weirdness of friendship breakups (there are no milestones); dangers of a too close friendship ('enmeshment') as well the opposite ('individualism', not our natural state!) and explores a better way idea ('autonomy').
All of this is good and important.
Some caveats: I found the stylistic choice of referring to real (often famous) people in the book by their first names really distracting (even though she explained her reasoning for it in the start). I missed the fact that 'James' was 'James Baldwin' for a few pages and kept wondering who this guy was and why I was reading about him. It's not a standard convention and I found it awkward.
She writes heavily about June Jordan, without really introducing her, or making a case for why we should be paying attention to her (apart from a brief paragraph that says "June is one of the most published African American writers ever. Despite not being as well-known by the American public, she is well-known by those whose lives she changed through friendship...After reading her prose and poetry you will hear her in your ear as I have, guiding your movements towards being more kind, just and good.")
That was not a big enough introduction, to my mind, for someone who we are then supposed to see as the model against whom Vulchi tests all her arguments about friendship. (Also, again 'June'. It kind of drove me mad, the first name thing.).
My conclusion was that Vulchi had been given access to a trove of Jordan's letters (and she says she interviewed her friends, after graduating from college), all of which made feel like someone's senior thesis, using one primary source to back up all her arguments---something that never would have flown at my university; and which was kind of confirmed by the Afterword. (maybe?)
(This is demonstrably unfair of me, because she also quotes other writers, but it was how I felt in reading the book. It felt...young.)
Having said that, she makes some good points. I would watch her give talks. I would read essays by her. I think she has a really valid and important point to champion. The book is fine. I hope it spawns a whole genre of books about friendship. I just don't think this book is going to be a breakout hit.
(I was sent an Advanced Reader Copy at no charge to me.)
I'm all for that.
I also applaud the author for centering various Black friendships---mostly among Black intellectuals of the 20th century---in addition to reaching into perhaps more traditional sources (Western Classical and Enlightenment writings), intertwining them with personal stories of her own friendships.
She addresses the weirdness of friendship breakups (there are no milestones); dangers of a too close friendship ('enmeshment') as well the opposite ('individualism', not our natural state!) and explores a better way idea ('autonomy').
All of this is good and important.
Some caveats: I found the stylistic choice of referring to real (often famous) people in the book by their first names really distracting (even though she explained her reasoning for it in the start). I missed the fact that 'James' was 'James Baldwin' for a few pages and kept wondering who this guy was and why I was reading about him. It's not a standard convention and I found it awkward.
She writes heavily about June Jordan, without really introducing her, or making a case for why we should be paying attention to her (apart from a brief paragraph that says "June is one of the most published African American writers ever. Despite not being as well-known by the American public, she is well-known by those whose lives she changed through friendship...After reading her prose and poetry you will hear her in your ear as I have, guiding your movements towards being more kind, just and good.")
That was not a big enough introduction, to my mind, for someone who we are then supposed to see as the model against whom Vulchi tests all her arguments about friendship. (Also, again 'June'. It kind of drove me mad, the first name thing.).
My conclusion was that Vulchi had been given access to a trove of Jordan's letters (and she says she interviewed her friends, after graduating from college), all of which made feel like someone's senior thesis, using one primary source to back up all her arguments---something that never would have flown at my university; and which was kind of confirmed by the Afterword. (maybe?)
(This is demonstrably unfair of me, because she also quotes other writers, but it was how I felt in reading the book. It felt...young.)
Having said that, she makes some good points. I would watch her give talks. I would read essays by her. I think she has a really valid and important point to champion. The book is fine. I hope it spawns a whole genre of books about friendship. I just don't think this book is going to be a breakout hit.
(I was sent an Advanced Reader Copy at no charge to me.)