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yazaleea 's review for:

Of Sunlight and Stardust by Riley Hart, Christina Lee
5.0

4.75 stars, not really a 5 stars BUT it made me cry so just for that it gets the honorary 5 stars rating. I didn't have any particular expectations but I loved this so much. It was far from perfect, but do I care? no!

Tanner Rowe just lost his wife, and with her, all the happiness in his life. A foster kid, he never really had anything, anyone in his life until her, and her death left him more alone than ever. As a last promise to her, he buys the old house with the burnt-down barn that she always dreamed of having, in a tiny town in Michigan, but it's not his dream and he is miserable. Cole Lachlan just got out of prison, his grandpa, the only person who cared about him is dead, and he can't find work. He is homeless and struggling, but he wants to earn his keep. When their paths cross, they immediately recognise the pain and loneliness in each other, and Tanner decides to hire Cole to rebuild the barn. From strangers, they become friends, and their relationship develops as they learn about the truth of the fire that destroyed the barn through an old journal dated back from 1948...

I can't really explain why I loved this, but I did. I can see why some people would think it's boring, because it was pretty slow paced and quiet, but I absolutely loved it. Tanner's grief, the love he has for his wife and the way he slowly allows himself to fall for Cole was lovely. Both their loneliness and secrets and the way they dealt with them was very nice. They're adults, they're both mature and they both have their scars and history. At first they feel awkward to share the same space, but they both crave company and become friends and organically grow into something more and I loved the slow, careful way they fell in love. Cole is gay, but Tanner discovers his bisexuality with a sort of wonder that was so endearing and heartwarming. I just loved them together, I liked how I could really feel the bond between them transform into physical attraction, and the progression of Cole's sleeping arrangements ;)) Even if they didn't have a thousand things in common, I felt like their understanding of each other's pain and the way they were so complementary was charming. They just worked perfectly together... Soulmates!!!

In parallel, we follow the story of Thomas Crawford and Charlie Meyers, who were in love in 1948. Cole finds Tom's journal in the barn, and one of the thing that brings him & Tanner closer is the reading of this journal. If it was me, I'd have read it in a single sitting, but somehow, this story, these two men, mean a lot to both Tanner and Cole. They're both emotionally connected to this journal, in a very intense way.

I think the main weakness of the book is the way the journal is written though. It was narrated like a narrator would describe a scene, with full descriptions and dialogues, and felt very unrealistic for journal entries. I was very invested in the journal's story but yeah that was so odd, I convinced myself the entry was different and what we were reading was just a peak in the past that would be summarised in a more relevant format in the journal. But damn, I was so into the past timeline too, the ending was a bit predictable while not really at the same time and I cried so hard.

I really liked the parallels between past and present, and while I found the "reveal" at the end to be a bit over the top, my heart was so damn full and connecting the dots was definitely an experience lol.

Anyway, I loved this so much, Tanner and Cole, Tom and Charlie, soulmates that found each other despite everything. Plus, "broken", lonely people finding solace in each other is one of my favourite things ever. Though I do feel like it's a book I'd want to keep for myself because I don't want to see people hate on it, it's my baby actually. The journal entries were whacky, the ending was a bit too much but it's my baby!