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A review by lindseydahling
A Feast for Crows by George R.R. Martin
5.0
I’m aware I’m in the minority when I say this was my favorite book of the series, BUT JUST HEAR ME OUT.
Things I liked:
1. You get to hang out at King’s Landing A LOT.
Cersei Lannister is despicable and I love her with all my heart. I send the Lannisters my love (and they send it back because they don’t want it).
2. Daenerys isn’t in it.
I’m aware I’m also in the minority in enjoying her absence, BUT COME ON. Lady has three dragons and STILL no idea how to cross the ocean and take back “her” throne. The Baratheons called—your dad was a real dick and therefore your family’s throne privileges got taken away. Once you torture people for fun, you kind of don’t get to sit with us anymore.
Also, you freed a bunch of slaves and just CANNOT BELIEVE they’re now starving because NO ONE WILL HIRE THEM. WOW. Plot. Twist. Didn’t see that one coming.
Also, you can tell me all the live-long day that you’re a queen and a great leader and deserve everyone’s adoration. Well, actions speak louder than words, Dany. You can’t figure out how to cross an ocean with three FLYING dragons. Homegirl Cersei might be cruel, but at least when she says she’s going to blow something up, SHE FUCKING FOLLOWS THROUGH. As you’ll see in this book.
3. Jaime’s Gryffindor side really shows.
He’s still in love with his Slytherin sister, but you see he’s really not a total villain.
4. Brienne is a badass Gryffindor who I could follow around all day.
Not in a creepy way.
5. Jon Snow isn’t in it.
HEAR ME OUT. JON SNOW IS GREAT. HE IS A LOVELY HUMAN AND SHOULD ACTUALLY BE SITTING ON THE IRON THRONE. I just don’t find him very interesting to read because he’s vanilla AF.
6. Asha Greyjoy.
Girl power.
7. Sam has more of a purpose than just being Jon’s Hufflepuff sidekick.
He’s such a cinnamon roll.
8. Arya is a queen.
I’d put her on the throne just to watch her get revenge on anyone who even looks at her wrong.
9. No Bran.
Call me when you’re ready to progress the plot.
10. SANSAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
You get to watch her blossom into something other than a prim and proper lady. I still haven’t forgiven her for the direwolf thing in the first book, but this did help our relationship.
Things I didn’t care for:
1. No Ravenclaw Tyrion.
The Lannisters are such a well-rounded bunch.
2. Daenerys wasn’t killed off by a pride of lions.
Spoiler alert.
Things I liked:
1. You get to hang out at King’s Landing A LOT.
Cersei Lannister is despicable and I love her with all my heart. I send the Lannisters my love (and they send it back because they don’t want it).
2. Daenerys isn’t in it.
I’m aware I’m also in the minority in enjoying her absence, BUT COME ON. Lady has three dragons and STILL no idea how to cross the ocean and take back “her” throne. The Baratheons called—your dad was a real dick and therefore your family’s throne privileges got taken away. Once you torture people for fun, you kind of don’t get to sit with us anymore.
Also, you freed a bunch of slaves and just CANNOT BELIEVE they’re now starving because NO ONE WILL HIRE THEM. WOW. Plot. Twist. Didn’t see that one coming.
Also, you can tell me all the live-long day that you’re a queen and a great leader and deserve everyone’s adoration. Well, actions speak louder than words, Dany. You can’t figure out how to cross an ocean with three FLYING dragons. Homegirl Cersei might be cruel, but at least when she says she’s going to blow something up, SHE FUCKING FOLLOWS THROUGH. As you’ll see in this book.
3. Jaime’s Gryffindor side really shows.
He’s still in love with his Slytherin sister, but you see he’s really not a total villain.
4. Brienne is a badass Gryffindor who I could follow around all day.
Not in a creepy way.
5. Jon Snow isn’t in it.
HEAR ME OUT. JON SNOW IS GREAT. HE IS A LOVELY HUMAN AND SHOULD ACTUALLY BE SITTING ON THE IRON THRONE. I just don’t find him very interesting to read because he’s vanilla AF.
6. Asha Greyjoy.
Girl power.
7. Sam has more of a purpose than just being Jon’s Hufflepuff sidekick.
He’s such a cinnamon roll.
8. Arya is a queen.
I’d put her on the throne just to watch her get revenge on anyone who even looks at her wrong.
9. No Bran.
Call me when you’re ready to progress the plot.
10. SANSAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
You get to watch her blossom into something other than a prim and proper lady. I still haven’t forgiven her for the direwolf thing in the first book, but this did help our relationship.
Things I didn’t care for:
1. No Ravenclaw Tyrion.
The Lannisters are such a well-rounded bunch.
2. Daenerys wasn’t killed off by a pride of lions.
Spoiler alert.