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fantasycloak 's review for:
Shadow of the Conqueror
by Shad M. Brooks
DNF (Did Not Finish)
I love Shad's YouTube channel and this was a promising premise, but the novel is annoyingly unpolished and objectionable.
As for the unsavory elements, there are copious references to rape, ravaging and sex trafficking (as well as beastiality).
Gratuitous language include several instances of: d*mn, *ss, *sshole, b*st*rd, and bl**dy, as well as crap, piss, tit and retarded. Which is kind of out of character for an author that wears a shirt saying, "I want you to watch your language."
This contemporary swearing, along with modern phrases (such as "Don't be a smart*ss"), and a plethora of contractions every page, takes you out of the fantasy setting over and over again.
Sadly, another editor or two were desperately needed to refine all of the writing flaws. In chapter 2, a question ends with a period. There are awkward phrases like "said embarrassedly" or sentences that are just grammatically clumsy:
However, there are numerous times where the author ignores the golden rule of "show, don't tell" when we get continual info dumps on the kingdom, magic and character backgrounds. A reader should feel like they are dropped into the middle of a world and they slowly unravel clues as it goes along.
For what I read, it was like a choppy and distasteful rough draft, so I returned my kindle book for a refund (a rarity for me).
From now on, I'll stick with Shad's sword videos and the likes of Brandon Sanderson for fantasy reading.
I love Shad's YouTube channel and this was a promising premise, but the novel is annoyingly unpolished and objectionable.
As for the unsavory elements, there are copious references to rape, ravaging and sex trafficking (as well as beastiality).
Gratuitous language include several instances of: d*mn, *ss, *sshole, b*st*rd, and bl**dy, as well as crap, piss, tit and retarded. Which is kind of out of character for an author that wears a shirt saying, "I want you to watch your language."
This contemporary swearing, along with modern phrases (such as "Don't be a smart*ss"), and a plethora of contractions every page, takes you out of the fantasy setting over and over again.
Sadly, another editor or two were desperately needed to refine all of the writing flaws. In chapter 2, a question ends with a period. There are awkward phrases like "said embarrassedly" or sentences that are just grammatically clumsy:
"Daylen didn't want to explain that once he managed to climb into the blackened thing he didn't want to have to climb out of it only to get into another one."
"Thankful for the windshield he leaned back, trying to recover his breath."Additionally, many paragraphs are only a single sentence or two (and they weren't ones with dialogue).
"Daylen pulled his coat shut and did up the large buttons running down its front.I did love that women have longsword parasols (can I have one?!), and Shad definitely knows his weapons, so there's that.
Still holding the small sunstone-lined box, Daylen opened it and took out the darkstone with two fingers.
He tossed the box aside."
However, there are numerous times where the author ignores the golden rule of "show, don't tell" when we get continual info dumps on the kingdom, magic and character backgrounds. A reader should feel like they are dropped into the middle of a world and they slowly unravel clues as it goes along.
For what I read, it was like a choppy and distasteful rough draft, so I returned my kindle book for a refund (a rarity for me).
From now on, I'll stick with Shad's sword videos and the likes of Brandon Sanderson for fantasy reading.