A review by crispycritter
Agnarr's Teacher by Jenifer Wood

Did not finish book. Stopped at 50%.

I set the bar pretty low for monster smut but jeeeeezus was this bad. Our heroine "I have anxiety" Piper suffers from Toodumbtobealiveitis, the plot is a straight rip off of Ice Planet Barbarians, and the primary conflict is this biddy decides she needs to IMMEDIATELY travel to another rival clan to get the alien equivalent of xanax. Girl, you’ve been on this planet for a day. Wanna try the available alien talk therapy and literally any other coping mechanisms first before rushing to leave the friendly village and die? Perhaps now that you’re free from the crushing burden of Earth’s capitalist machine you . . . I dunno, might be less anxious? Seriously. There’s no rent to be paid here. No jobbies to go to. You might still have anxiety but maybe let’s settle in first and not die in the impending snow storms. 

Agnarr, she’s “unlike any other female you’ve ever met” cause she’s (1) the only human you’ve literally ever met and (2) an asshole and all your fellow orc ladies seem pretty chill. 

I threw my Kindle down when, in response to Agnarr's reasonable desire to keep Piper from journeying outside the village, she gets mad at him and says “fuck the patriarchy.” Girl what patriarchy???? On this nice alien planet in a nice egalitarian alien orc village? As an anxious feminist, I took it personally that Wood made her anxious feminist heroine this dumb, inconsistent, and kinda mean.