A review by haileyhardcover
There's No Way I'd Die First by Lisa Springer

adventurous dark medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

I clearly didn’t enjoy this book much… BUT before I get into what I didn’t like, I want to mention what WAS good about it and that’s the criticism of the lack of positive Black representation the horror genre. From the setting of most Black horror films, the extra Z’s in titles, Black characters cast as the ”loyal sidekick” only there to sacrifice themself for the white lead, and the lack of a Black ”Final Girl” - racism is everywhere, and it’s blatant in horror. 

Also, a murderous clown who draws the line at misgendering someone he’s about to kill. 🤡 Talk, Valentina! 

No but really… Unfortunately, this was a really good premise and really disappointing execution. The writing isn’t great, none of the characters are likable, the layout of the setting is confusing, the ”twist” was obvious & unoriginal, and the addition of the romance felt forced and was completely unnecessary. 

The first quarter of the book is slow and instead of making me care about these kids who are about to be slaughtered, I just grew increasingly annoyed with them. No one deserves to be murdered, BUT… it’s hard to root for a bunch of rotten, entitled, mega rich kids and a final girl who’s obsessed with everyone at her party being rich and famous and name dropping all of the designer things she owns… If she mentioned the fucking Birkin one more time I was going to scream! Also, was THAT detail really necessary? IYKYK. 

Noelle repeats over and over AND OVER AND OVER that she’s got what it takes to be a Final Girl… but she repeatedly makes dumb choices that someone who has obsessively prepped for this kind of scenario (as she claims to have done) would never do. What kind of “there’s no way I’d die first,” final girl horror fanatic would ever make an entire group of drunk and high teenagers give up their phones to play hide and seek with a killer clown?! That detail ESPECIALLY made no sense considering she picked these specific people to attend her party because they’re all influencers with a large following and she wanted them to share things on their own socials so she could get more followers… 

I could go on, but suffice to say that, unfortunately, I do not recommend this book. If you want a great YA slasher with a Black female MC, I highly suggest You’re Not Supposed to Die Tonight instead! 
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