Scan barcode
A review by giantarms
Bald New World by Peter Tieryas Liu
3.0
No, I did not read this book because of the state of my haircut, much to my husband's dismay. I saw it offered on the Goodreads Giveaways and it was too ridiculous a title to pass up. All the other things I entered for were for your hoity and toity books. But THIS is the one I won and thank heavens. I may not remember what [b:A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian|828387|A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian|Marina Lewycka|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1327935785s/828387.jpg|4240781] was about or whether [b:The Coyote Kings of the Space-Age Bachelor Pad|385483|The Coyote Kings of the Space-Age Bachelor Pad|Minister Faust|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1389549931s/385483.jpg|375196] was any good, but I read them cover to cover based only their names. Authors of the world: MORE RIDICULOUS BOOK TITLES PLEASE.
Moving on.
What if one day, everybodyturned to woooooood was bald? The cannabis smoke having cleared, the author presents us with an otherwise kind of boring dystopia to set his story in. Take all your current stereotypes -- America is rife with gun violence, Shanghai is wealthy but polluted, the masses are more obsessed with celebrity and image than anything else -- and draw them to your predictable extremes and you've got Earth circa some time in the vague future.
In short, Tieryas is not a subtle writer. But then again, why would I expect that?
Oh. The blurbs.
Guys. Never read blurbs. Blurbs are terrible. In this case, there was a lot of talk of the mashing up of things like Blade Runner and, I don't know, [b:1984|5470|1984|George Orwell|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1348990566s/5470.jpg|153313] into something new and, uh, I think one guy said "hypnotic."* I'm sure guy who wrote a book I never heard of** was trying to be helpful here by whipping the potential reader into a frenzy of psychedelic excitement, but, having become the actual reader, I was disappointed by the decidedly mundane writing.
Which is a real shame because this book was an entertaining read. You start out with some outsized buddy nonsense involving a couple of movie makers and a couple of North Korean cuties (who are spies, naturally). You roll your eyes a little at the seemingly bullet proof main characters, but then, about halfway through the book, things go wrong, get weird and then worse before wrapping up in a fairly tidy ending. The part of me that reads for fun and diversion was more than satisfied at having stumbled upon this novel.
But my Serious Reader*** parts are left unimpressed. Like I mentioned before, the book lacks subtlety and surprise. The major plot points may be initially exciting, but once revealed they go more or less where you'd expect. Though the world is gritty and difficult, the major characters don't actually seem to be affected by it. They jet off here and there as they please except when being actively hunted by one another. When the main character does get into serious trouble he is twice in a row delivered by chance.
Even the tidy ending bothers me. In the last chapter or two, the explanations come rushing in from nowhere in the form of avenging angels whose characteristics would seem to make them stand out despite their secrets while how they came into their capabilities is glossed over. I don't want to give too much away, but imagine if one day you had a chihuahua and the next day when you have fallen into a well, your dog suddenly transforms into a collie and you are rescued with great skill and aplomb. While terribly dramatic, this is not terribly believable.
People die and bad things happen, but you don't get a sense of the consequences because the action just keeps bouncing along to the extent that the characters feel a little flat. This is a first person narrative told from the perspective of the protagonist. Every so often he finds the time to go off on some tangent about his past and why he became an emotional basketcase incapable of giving or receiving love, but we don't really see the consequences of those traumas in his decision making. He seems like a great guy, no problem, happy to meet you. So he doesn't jump the bones of everything with boobs; that's a sign of maturity and good sense in a world where your waitress is very clearly a North Korean spy, not brokenness.
Anyway. The second half of the book is better than the first. So, if you get that far, I recommend finishing it. Despite its flaws, it was a pretty good time.
--------------
*I could go get the book and do some actual quoting of the quotes, but the baby's asleep and I'm typing in the dark.
**I sound pretty arrogant here, but really I'm just alerting you to my taste in books so you will know whether or not to care what I think. Probably you shouldn't?
***Who can be a real jerk so feel free to skip the rest of this review except maybe the last paragraph.
Moving on.
What if one day, everybody
In short, Tieryas is not a subtle writer. But then again, why would I expect that?
Oh. The blurbs.
Guys. Never read blurbs. Blurbs are terrible. In this case, there was a lot of talk of the mashing up of things like Blade Runner and, I don't know, [b:1984|5470|1984|George Orwell|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1348990566s/5470.jpg|153313] into something new and, uh, I think one guy said "hypnotic."* I'm sure guy who wrote a book I never heard of** was trying to be helpful here by whipping the potential reader into a frenzy of psychedelic excitement, but, having become the actual reader, I was disappointed by the decidedly mundane writing.
Which is a real shame because this book was an entertaining read. You start out with some outsized buddy nonsense involving a couple of movie makers and a couple of North Korean cuties (who are spies, naturally). You roll your eyes a little at the seemingly bullet proof main characters, but then, about halfway through the book, things go wrong, get weird and then worse before wrapping up in a fairly tidy ending. The part of me that reads for fun and diversion was more than satisfied at having stumbled upon this novel.
But my Serious Reader*** parts are left unimpressed. Like I mentioned before, the book lacks subtlety and surprise. The major plot points may be initially exciting, but once revealed they go more or less where you'd expect. Though the world is gritty and difficult, the major characters don't actually seem to be affected by it. They jet off here and there as they please except when being actively hunted by one another. When the main character does get into serious trouble he is twice in a row delivered by chance.
Even the tidy ending bothers me. In the last chapter or two, the explanations come rushing in from nowhere in the form of avenging angels whose characteristics would seem to make them stand out despite their secrets while how they came into their capabilities is glossed over. I don't want to give too much away, but imagine if one day you had a chihuahua and the next day when you have fallen into a well, your dog suddenly transforms into a collie and you are rescued with great skill and aplomb. While terribly dramatic, this is not terribly believable.
People die and bad things happen, but you don't get a sense of the consequences because the action just keeps bouncing along to the extent that the characters feel a little flat. This is a first person narrative told from the perspective of the protagonist. Every so often he finds the time to go off on some tangent about his past and why he became an emotional basketcase incapable of giving or receiving love, but we don't really see the consequences of those traumas in his decision making. He seems like a great guy, no problem, happy to meet you. So he doesn't jump the bones of everything with boobs; that's a sign of maturity and good sense in a world where your waitress is very clearly a North Korean spy, not brokenness.
Anyway. The second half of the book is better than the first. So, if you get that far, I recommend finishing it. Despite its flaws, it was a pretty good time.
--------------
*I could go get the book and do some actual quoting of the quotes, but the baby's asleep and I'm typing in the dark.
**I sound pretty arrogant here, but really I'm just alerting you to my taste in books so you will know whether or not to care what I think. Probably you shouldn't?
***Who can be a real jerk so feel free to skip the rest of this review except maybe the last paragraph.