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A review by tjlcody
Tease by Amanda Maciel
1.0
I...
I just...
The book was well-written. I'll say that.
And right up until the end, I was ambiguous about how to feel about Sara; I assumed she would get some redemption, that she would understand just how unbelievably fucked up what she did was.
And I got that. I think Sara's apology towards the end was sincere. I think she finally understood what she did wrong and why it was wrong and why people were as disgusted with her as they were. I thought "Okay, so her attempts to justify her behavior with that 'I'm just a kid, no one taught me how to be an adult' (like with her dad) was just crap before she Got It."
And then I made the same mistake that I made when I picked up Conversion for the first time: I read the freaking author's note.
Let me quote to you the part that made my blood boil, and explain why:
"And I couldn't stop thinking about the girls on both sides of this story. And I couldn't stop thinking that, no matter what the accused bullies had done, surely they couldn't have intended for anyone to lose her life- surely no one is that vicious."
They can absolutely be that vicious. Not saying the girls in this particular case were, but in general, yes, people can be that vicious. People telling others to "just kill yourself" is a thing.
"But we do all have our moments, and our limits. We've each felt deeply hurt by the actions of others. We've said things we regret."
No.
Absolutely, unequivocally, no.
Do not conflate someone losing their temper and saying something they regret with stalking, harassing, slut-shaming, and threatening someone over a period of months.
Do-fucking-not.
Do not send that message. Not for a second. And definitely do not try to imply or pretend that the characters you have written, in this situation, just "hit their limits" or "had their moments".
It was premeditated. They planned these things out. They did it repeatedly to a girl who, yeah, wasn't a saint, but definitely didn't deserve what she got.
"It made me incredibly sad- and still does- that the kids in these stories are kids. As a teenager you're so close to being an adult, and in so many ways you have the responsibilities of one. But you also- or you're supposed to- have your whole life ahead of you too. It's the time we try new things and make mistakes. It's the time we get deeply hurt, say hurtful things, and learn to apologize. It's the incredibly crucial time when we learn that other people are also hurting, are also victims. We learn that life is complicated, and our version of the story isn't the only version."
...No. No, no, no, no, no.
I'm gonna say this one more time: DO NOT CONFLATE TEENAGERS WHO SAY AND DO HURTFUL THINGS IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT WITH THE KINDS OF TEENAGERS WHO BULLY OTHERS TO SUICIDE.
DON'T. IT IS NOT THE SAME THING.
HARASSING SOMEONE REPEATEDLY, OVER A PERIOD OF MONTHS, AFTER SEEING FOR YOURSELF THAT THE PERSON IS DISTRESSED, AFTER BEING TOLD BY TEACHERS AND PARENTS TO STOP, AND ESPECIALLY AFTER YOU REALIZE ON SEVERAL SEPARATE OCCASIONS FOR YOURSELF THAT WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS STEPPING OVER THE LINE,, IS NOT THE SAME AS LOSING YOUR TEMPER IN A FIT OF TEENAGE FERVOR AND CALLING SOMEONE A SLUT A COUPLE OF TIMES.
What Sara and Brielle do in this book is harassment. It was premeditated. It was planned. It was executed maliciously with the attempt of getting Emma into trouble, and trying to force her to transfer schools. It was done with the deliberate intention of making her feel like crap.
And the author implying that the kinds of kids who do this are just in a confusing time of their life and gosh, they're just still learning how to be empathetic, have some pity for them!
No. No fucking way. Sara and Brielle did not make a mistake. They knew they were hurting Emma and they kept right on ahead and doing it anyway. I don't care if they didn't intend for Emma to kill herself, and if she hadn't killed herself, it wouldn't have made anything they did less worse.
The sheer lack of empathy that these two displayed for their actions is not comparable to that of a typical teenager. They are an extreme that should not be confused with normal teenage development, because guess what? MOST TEENAGERS DON'T HAVE TO BE TOLD THAT STALKING AND HARASSING SOMEONE VICIOUSLY AND CONSTANTLY OVER MONTHS IS WRONG.
They might turn a blind eye to it, they might not react as strongly to someone being bullied as we might want them to, some might even contribute on a smaller scale, but most do not engage in direct harassment of this nature. Because most either have enough empathy to know that it's wrong, or they have the common-fricking-sense to know it's going to get them in trouble.
I just- the book was pretty good, but the author's note felt like a slap in the face. Teenagers who do this shit should not be condemned forever, but this should not be painted as something that's just teens just being confused, hot-headed teens. Give them a little more credit than that.
I just...
The book was well-written. I'll say that.
And right up until the end, I was ambiguous about how to feel about Sara; I assumed she would get some redemption, that she would understand just how unbelievably fucked up what she did was.
And I got that. I think Sara's apology towards the end was sincere. I think she finally understood what she did wrong and why it was wrong and why people were as disgusted with her as they were. I thought "Okay, so her attempts to justify her behavior with that 'I'm just a kid, no one taught me how to be an adult' (like with her dad) was just crap before she Got It."
And then I made the same mistake that I made when I picked up Conversion for the first time: I read the freaking author's note.
Let me quote to you the part that made my blood boil, and explain why:
"And I couldn't stop thinking about the girls on both sides of this story. And I couldn't stop thinking that, no matter what the accused bullies had done, surely they couldn't have intended for anyone to lose her life- surely no one is that vicious."
They can absolutely be that vicious. Not saying the girls in this particular case were, but in general, yes, people can be that vicious. People telling others to "just kill yourself" is a thing.
"But we do all have our moments, and our limits. We've each felt deeply hurt by the actions of others. We've said things we regret."
No.
Absolutely, unequivocally, no.
Do not conflate someone losing their temper and saying something they regret with stalking, harassing, slut-shaming, and threatening someone over a period of months.
Do-fucking-not.
Do not send that message. Not for a second. And definitely do not try to imply or pretend that the characters you have written, in this situation, just "hit their limits" or "had their moments".
It was premeditated. They planned these things out. They did it repeatedly to a girl who, yeah, wasn't a saint, but definitely didn't deserve what she got.
"It made me incredibly sad- and still does- that the kids in these stories are kids. As a teenager you're so close to being an adult, and in so many ways you have the responsibilities of one. But you also- or you're supposed to- have your whole life ahead of you too. It's the time we try new things and make mistakes. It's the time we get deeply hurt, say hurtful things, and learn to apologize. It's the incredibly crucial time when we learn that other people are also hurting, are also victims. We learn that life is complicated, and our version of the story isn't the only version."
...No. No, no, no, no, no.
I'm gonna say this one more time: DO NOT CONFLATE TEENAGERS WHO SAY AND DO HURTFUL THINGS IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT WITH THE KINDS OF TEENAGERS WHO BULLY OTHERS TO SUICIDE.
DON'T. IT IS NOT THE SAME THING.
HARASSING SOMEONE REPEATEDLY, OVER A PERIOD OF MONTHS, AFTER SEEING FOR YOURSELF THAT THE PERSON IS DISTRESSED, AFTER BEING TOLD BY TEACHERS AND PARENTS TO STOP, AND ESPECIALLY AFTER YOU REALIZE ON SEVERAL SEPARATE OCCASIONS FOR YOURSELF THAT WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS STEPPING OVER THE LINE,, IS NOT THE SAME AS LOSING YOUR TEMPER IN A FIT OF TEENAGE FERVOR AND CALLING SOMEONE A SLUT A COUPLE OF TIMES.
What Sara and Brielle do in this book is harassment. It was premeditated. It was planned. It was executed maliciously with the attempt of getting Emma into trouble, and trying to force her to transfer schools. It was done with the deliberate intention of making her feel like crap.
And the author implying that the kinds of kids who do this are just in a confusing time of their life and gosh, they're just still learning how to be empathetic, have some pity for them!
No. No fucking way. Sara and Brielle did not make a mistake. They knew they were hurting Emma and they kept right on ahead and doing it anyway. I don't care if they didn't intend for Emma to kill herself, and if she hadn't killed herself, it wouldn't have made anything they did less worse.
The sheer lack of empathy that these two displayed for their actions is not comparable to that of a typical teenager. They are an extreme that should not be confused with normal teenage development, because guess what? MOST TEENAGERS DON'T HAVE TO BE TOLD THAT STALKING AND HARASSING SOMEONE VICIOUSLY AND CONSTANTLY OVER MONTHS IS WRONG.
They might turn a blind eye to it, they might not react as strongly to someone being bullied as we might want them to, some might even contribute on a smaller scale, but most do not engage in direct harassment of this nature. Because most either have enough empathy to know that it's wrong, or they have the common-fricking-sense to know it's going to get them in trouble.
I just- the book was pretty good, but the author's note felt like a slap in the face. Teenagers who do this shit should not be condemned forever, but this should not be painted as something that's just teens just being confused, hot-headed teens. Give them a little more credit than that.