Review by whysoserious - My Dark Vanessa

whysoserious 's review for:

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

5.0

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense fast-paced

Plot or Character Driven: Character

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Complicated

Diverse cast of characters: No

Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

“I just really need it to be a love story. You know? I really, really need it to be that”

Vanessa Wye [My Dark Vanessa, p319)

Holy shit!

I have just put down this novel and I am stunned. The psychological acuity bought forth by this debut novelist is astonishing. Gritty, raw emotion spills from the pages as we delve into this deeply disturbing though beautifully written piece of autobiographical fiction. The above quote was one that really jumped out at me as I burnt my way through the book in a matter of a week. I am a slow reader. Three hundred pages normally takes me a few weeks – this took me five days. Why? Because I was desperate to see what happens at the end of the novel; how the naïve Lolita-esque central character (Vanessa) can make peace with her disturbing past.

The novel has so many layers. Firstly, Russell lulls us into a false sense of security. Her boarding school literature teacher, Mr Strane, is painted as an over-familiar man who just so happens to become over-familiar with his star student. However, over the novel we soon see him turn into a manipulative abuser, blaming our heroine for the feelings she provokes in him despite her being only 15 years old. The whole novel unfolds as a “how to” guide for how paedophiles groom young, impressionable teenagers. Russell is fantastic in her portrayal Vanessa’s internal struggles; balancing the belief that her teacher “loved” her with the desire not to be seen as a victim.

The time line, bouncing back and forth from 2001-2017 is a great device that keeps a reader continually engaged and I believe a linear story wouldn’t have had such an impact at this structure. We delve into Vanessa’s therapy sessions, her life “post” Strane and this is just, so…good!

The one thing that strikes me about this novel is how it made me feel. I am unsure what I felt whilst reading this. I knew it should be anger, empathy for the victim, horror and yet Russell has written it in such a way that I feel pulled in one hundred different emotional directions. I believe this is likely by design; trying to get us to tap into the roller-coaster of emotions that the characters may have been experiencing. So… what was I feeling as I delved into this one? Paternal toward Vanessa whilst simultaneously frustrated at her lack of awareness and then deeply empathetic that this actually happens to real life people. I wanted to shake her, tell her that she is being irrational. Then I realised that this is likely played out in the minds of many sexual abuse survivors. There is an element of narcissism that runs through Vanessa as a character which is hard to find endearing at times. Her desperation to be the “only one” that Strange felt this way about and her dismissal of other victims as “less” than her was disconcerting.

Strane on the other hand is portrayed such emotional complexity that I struggled to make sense of what was going on in his mind. I would have ideally liked to see some scenes from his perspective; he gives little away and his attempts at manipulation seem absurd and transparent to an observer but are – again – likely to be based on a kernel of truth regarding how perpetrators groom their victims. At one point I felt a deep sadness for him as he has this horrific urge to do unspeakable acts and who would willingly opt to have those urges? Certainly not anyone reasonable. Yet at the same time his manipulative techniques betray a dark, menacing side that shows that whilst he is outwardly “sorry” for what he does to Vanessa he carries on regardless. The scene where he has sex with Vanessa for the first time highlights this perfectly. He asks if she is okay and whether she wants to continue, accepts her tentative yes as consent and then continues anyway despite her crying. I gape in disbelief at how anyone can do this to another human being.

I must add a warning to potential readers that have experienced sexual related traumas of any kind. Russell doesn’t pull any punches in her graphic descriptions of childhood sexual abuse and this is not for the faint hearted. I would caution anyone who has had an experience of this in the past and it could bring back horrible memories. That said, Russell is brave…really brave! She brings to mind the feelings of shame, self-imposed guilt and the belief that the victim can feel just as much a “monster” as the true perpetrator.

I really can’t fault this piece of fiction and how close to the knuckle it can be whilst still being relatively true to the experience of some survivors (a term Vanessa despises).

Content Warnings