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A review by lory_enterenchanted
Emotional Inheritance: A Therapist, Her Patients, and the Legacy of Trauma by Galit Atlas
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
3.0
The "therapy memoir" is becoming a favorite genre of mine - written by a therapist who, as they are not supposed to do in individual sessions, reflects on their own life and trauma history along with stories drawn from their practice. These stories are endlessly fascinating to me, even though they have to be somewhat fictionalized, if they are not to violate the privacy of the subjects, and I'm not sure how I feel about labeling the result as "nonfiction." At any rate, I always learn best through stories, and these chronicles of suffering, hard inner work, and hope are inspiring to me.
The theme of this particular book is generational or inherited trauma, what is handed down from our ancestors and how we can unpick that tangle to heal ourselves, finding a future unburdened, though not entirely disconnected from the traumas of the past. Parents and grandparents thought it was shielding us not to tell us these stories, but we are finding that they are carried in our bodies and mysteriously come out in the events of our lives, which can strangely synchronize with those buried, secret histories. I hope that more and more the secrets can come to light and be released and healed, for the good of our whole, suffering world.
Atlas focuses mainly on the stories, not on the science or theory involved, which I suppose one can read more about elsewhere. She has an unfortunate tendency to rely heavily on Freud; one might come away from the book thinking there had been no other approach to psychotherapy, nor any serious drawbacks to his method, which is far from the case. But this diminishes as the book goes on. Overall, moving and thought-provoking.
"It is the ability to accept that which cannot be changed or fixed that allows us to start mourning. That permission to grieve for our losses and faults, as well as for our parents', connects us with life and welcomes the birth of new possibilities."
"The freedom to think and to feel even the most disturbing thoughts and painful emotions brings with it the experience of being alive."
"I believe the main evidence for strength is the ability to look reality in the eye. When you are able to do that, you save yourself and the next generation from carrying your unprocessed trauma."
"From a young age, we learn to follow our parents' signals; we learn to walk around their wounds, try not to mention and absolutely not to touch what mustn't be disturbed. In our attempt to avoid their pain and our own, we blind ourselves to that which is right before our eyes."
"To some extent all feelings are isolated, enigmatic, and we transform them, through words, into a form that we can share with others. But words do not always capture the essence of our feelings, and in that sense, we are always alone."
The theme of this particular book is generational or inherited trauma, what is handed down from our ancestors and how we can unpick that tangle to heal ourselves, finding a future unburdened, though not entirely disconnected from the traumas of the past. Parents and grandparents thought it was shielding us not to tell us these stories, but we are finding that they are carried in our bodies and mysteriously come out in the events of our lives, which can strangely synchronize with those buried, secret histories. I hope that more and more the secrets can come to light and be released and healed, for the good of our whole, suffering world.
Atlas focuses mainly on the stories, not on the science or theory involved, which I suppose one can read more about elsewhere. She has an unfortunate tendency to rely heavily on Freud; one might come away from the book thinking there had been no other approach to psychotherapy, nor any serious drawbacks to his method, which is far from the case. But this diminishes as the book goes on. Overall, moving and thought-provoking.
"It is the ability to accept that which cannot be changed or fixed that allows us to start mourning. That permission to grieve for our losses and faults, as well as for our parents', connects us with life and welcomes the birth of new possibilities."
"The freedom to think and to feel even the most disturbing thoughts and painful emotions brings with it the experience of being alive."
"I believe the main evidence for strength is the ability to look reality in the eye. When you are able to do that, you save yourself and the next generation from carrying your unprocessed trauma."
"From a young age, we learn to follow our parents' signals; we learn to walk around their wounds, try not to mention and absolutely not to touch what mustn't be disturbed. In our attempt to avoid their pain and our own, we blind ourselves to that which is right before our eyes."
"To some extent all feelings are isolated, enigmatic, and we transform them, through words, into a form that we can share with others. But words do not always capture the essence of our feelings, and in that sense, we are always alone."