turninpages_sippintea 's review for:

Kitchen by Banana Yoshimoto

3.0

emotional sad fast-paced

Plot or Character Driven: Character

Strong character development: Complicated

Loveable characters: Complicated

Diverse cast of characters: No

Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated

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This was a solid 3-star read for me. I don't think I read the blurb before buying the book (to be honest, I don't even remember why it was on my TBR - I'd probably saved it because of someone's recommendation on booktok or booktube), so I didn't expect the stories to be about grief. 

However, it happens to be one of my favourite topics - how grief manifests in different people, what helps them cope, why some choose to get distracted rather than mourn someone properly and process their loss, etc. So I enjoyed reading about the first character finding solace in cooking (gourmet, at that!) after her granny's passing, and how the MC of the second short story took up running and resting by the noisy river as a way of numbing her own pain of losing her significant other. I wouldn't call the writing brilliant - it was lacklustre and kind of stilted at times, but through internal musings of the narrators you do get a glimpse inside a depressed person's mind. I especially related to the part in the second story when spring was in full bloom, and the streets were full of life and colour, yet Satsuki yearned for something darker and colder to match how she felt inside: 

"The pretty scene was brimming with life, but my soul was pining for the desolate streets of winter and for that river at dawn. I wished my heart would break and get it over with." 

However, apart from my fascination by the topic of grief, nothing else really impressed me in this book. Apart from unremarkable prose, the conversations between the characters in both stories seemed... weird. Perhaps young people in the 80s spoke like that, or maybe cultural peculiarities got lost in translation, but I found the dialogues outright boring. Especially in the first story, where a woman would claim that she just "knew" what her male friend was thinking and what he was planning, just because they were so close, but I genuinely couldn't see that closeness when they were talking to each other. It felt like she and his mother had more dialogue that shaped friendship, so this psychic connection seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

And the mother, or, more precisely, the way Mikage (the first narrator) talked about her, was grating. Again, it may be the product of its time (was it progressive for Japan in the 80s? I genuinely don't know), but despite Mikage not being transphobic out loud, she still kept making negative comparisons between her and Eriko - like, oh how she couldn't believe how great Eriko looked despite her not being a "real" woman; how feminine she was despite being a "man". I don't doubt for a second that Mikage grew to love Eriko, but this jealousy implied that some people don't really deserve to possess certain qualities just because they were born with particular set of genitals. 

A similar kind of "I love you, but I'm ashamed of you" moment happened in the second story, when Satsuki saw the brother of her boyfriend wearing a sailor schoolgirl uniform. He explained his reasons, she even acknowledged them, but then was still relieved when he put a coat on, and people couldn't see him in a skirt anymore. 

Was it a commentary on how no matter how much people claim they love us, they will never be able to accept us fully? Or vice versa - despite their jabs at our appearance from time to time, they will still love us and be there for us when we need them? Was it a hint at how shame is inherently human, but it simply reveals our own insecurities and, on a bigger scale, has nothing to do with people we are for some reason ashamed of? I don't know, these questions may retrospectively justify certain aspects I didn't like, but I'm not sure this book was that deep.