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A review by crabbygirl
This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships by Matthew Fray
1.0
this guy reminded me of a male Dear Sugar. No scratch that - she was more of a 'radical empathy' sort. no, I'm thinking of another blogger-cum-author, one that used vagina numerous times in her book (and blog, I guess). there was a mouse of the cover of the book... Anyhow, they both write in a conversational way, confessional way, lots of pot shots at themselves mixed with cursing or curse-adjacent words. it was merely meh. and could have easily been a magazine article.
the book lifts from other well-known self-help touchstones: the Holmes-Rache stress inventory, the Maslow hierarchy of needs, Dennett's tools for critical commentary, James Clear's habit building, etc. The only original material from him is coining the Invalidation Triple Threat which was contradicting your partner's thoughts (1), or feelings (2), or justifying our actions (3) but as an outsider it looked like this guy was pretty crap from the get-go (leaves his just-given-birth-by-emergency-c-section wife to go home and email his friends about how great it was to be a dad & get some sleep) and his wife wanted a tidy house that could withstand the critical eye of an unexpected visit. she'd probably say it was alot deeper than that (like the day their child was born) but this guy is really into how his lack of keeping up with the chores was equated as not loving her enough. The whole endeavour reminded me of how overflowing with love and understanding a person can be when alone in their writing garrett, but plop them into a normal day populated with people and conflict and then? Well, we'll see.
the book lifts from other well-known self-help touchstones: the Holmes-Rache stress inventory, the Maslow hierarchy of needs, Dennett's tools for critical commentary, James Clear's habit building, etc. The only original material from him is coining the Invalidation Triple Threat which was contradicting your partner's thoughts (1), or feelings (2), or justifying our actions (3) but as an outsider it looked like this guy was pretty crap from the get-go (leaves his just-given-birth-by-emergency-c-section wife to go home and email his friends about how great it was to be a dad & get some sleep) and his wife wanted a tidy house that could withstand the critical eye of an unexpected visit. she'd probably say it was alot deeper than that (like the day their child was born) but this guy is really into how his lack of keeping up with the chores was equated as not loving her enough. The whole endeavour reminded me of how overflowing with love and understanding a person can be when alone in their writing garrett, but plop them into a normal day populated with people and conflict and then? Well, we'll see.