A review by dark_reader
A Space Family Odyssey: Lost in Space by Charles C Vaden Jr

5.0

 An amazing book that restored my faith in humanity. No notes.

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Well, maybe some notes.

As the crew prepares for a new day out on this new planet; Robert exclaims, “WOW ;we all look so different-every body look at each other-its’s a sif the short time travel aged us years ,some more than others, and their NASA flight suits even changed to different suits. There is no explanation for this ,I guess part of Einstein’s theories were correct-things have changed, but we are in good shape,every one feel OK?”[sic][sic][sic][sic][sic][sic]...

I really must thank the author for paying for a Goodreads Giveaway for this recently published book. See, I was despairing that because of the glut of A.I.-generated books, I would never again see a human-written disaster of a book like this again. I feared the days of Moon People, Antigua: The Land of Fairies, Wizards and Heroes, Kaileb's Dream, Timemaster Era: Beginning of a new universe!, and their ilk were over. What would I ever do, if people who have never seen a book stopped writing books and then publishing and promoting them?

But with this epic family space adventure, Charles Vaden, or DARTH, not sure what he's going with here, my faith in hilariously terrible books has been restored!

Just in case you missed it in the book title or blurb or extended "FOREWARD" that opens this magnificent creation, to help bring home the message that it's based on 1960s Lost in Space TV series, helpful photos of the show are included:


It's a good thing neither the show's original producer CBS nor its current distributor Disney have ever sued anyone over I.P. infringement! There are other photos, both in the introduction and peppered throughout the book, sadly many of these are AI images but with this book's level of incompetence they happen to fit right in.

Can this book out-Moon People Moon People? It's certainly going to try:

DAY 2 Evening:

Robert – Ok Daisy – it’s about that time – lets head back and see about the reboot!” Daisy – “Ok – but Dad – what if it doesn’t work -?” – “Ok Lets take things one at a time – we have plenty of time – Meanwhile – at the ship – everyone is waiting as the Rover arrives – “Ok – this is it – Daisy – let her rip! Daisy – Ok – but this is my best guess – so don’t blame me if it doesn’t work!” – Robert – “Daisy – Reset Now!” As Daisy hits the reset button – nothing happens! – Daisy – “Crap, I knew we missed something – Lindy – what did we miss?” Lindy – (who seldom speaks – only acts – “We missed nothing – checklists was perfect hit it again!” – Daisy “Ok- here we go” Daisy presses the reset button again and after a flash of light – nothing! “Ok, says Robert – let’s wait a few minutes – let the trons do their thing!

Of course, there's no arguing with the book's math ...

The computer has calculated they are 88 million miles from the sun, G is the universal gravitational constant measured at 6.67 x 10^-11 N-m^2/Kg^2; where N (Newton is the force acting on the ship. 1 Newton = 4.45 lbp (pound force)

So; Adam – using the computer has figured out that their ship weighs = 25 tons with fuel and water, O2, etc – the sun Cigea61 is 1.8 x 10^28 Kg and the distance of 88 million miles in meters is 1 mile = 1610 meters ; the r = 1.4 x 10 meters

Plug it all in and the F from the sun getting on their ship in planet orbit would be F = 6.67 x 10^-11 N – m^2/Kg^2 (25,000 Kg x 1.8 x 10^28 Kg)/(1.4 x 10^11m)^2 = 4.5 x 10^32 (1.4x10 reducing – we get 6.67x10^-11 N-m^2/Kg^2 (4.5 x 10^32 kg)^2/(1.4x10^11 m)^2

... and certainly not with its science facts.

So, about our galaxy-it is a spral galaxy-

[. . .]

We don’t yet possess cryosleep-to sleep for years without aging-or warp speeds like star trek warp 9, 1000 times the speed of light-still too slow to reach most of our galaxy and we are not even at 1/10 the speed of light!!! We have a long way to go-and its up to you little guys to develop that!! GOOD LUCK., and may the force be with you.

Nor can anyone find fault with any sentence in the book.

The flock of birds is quite putting.

[. . .]

All is well – Lindy logs it in and they continue – just as they power up – wham – something hits them from the side – a much larger ones are on this side of the canyon. Its as big as an elephant and as ferocious! Its carnivores and wonders off!

Finally, I simply must share my absolute favorite moment:

Kristen is checking each crew member for any damage and reassuring them! Bitchin Betty, the ships computer voice with AI is telling everyone their options and how things are going.

I laugh-cried for so long over "Bitchin Betty". Sadly, the ship's AI is never referred to like that again.