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A review by dalmavatai
Yes, Daddy by Jonathan Parks-Ramage
Did not finish book. Stopped at 57%.
Ah I usually don't dnf books this far into them but I'm just really not feeling this one. The idea behind the story is really solid: exploring the power dynamics between wealthy, successful, older gay men and young, aspiring, broke gay men and the exploitation and abuse that can happen within those relationships.
However, I think this book is just poorly executed. The characters and the relationships are not developed well enough for me to believe in them, and the dynamics of an abusive relationship are equally poorly written. It feels like the author read a blog post about Abuse 101 and clumsily inserted every point at random intervals throughout the story. Like, all the dynamics - Jonah gaslighting himself and his experience of abuse, Richard compensating with meaningless shopping sprees after something bad happens - feel disingenuous, insincere; I just wasn't convinced by the author that these characters and relationships are real. They feel very one-dimensional, pawns to illustrate the author's point but lacking in development and depth.
This is really my main issue with the story but I also wanted to mention that of course it's really important to shed light on how old men can coerce younger men into playing out their BDSM fantasies - but BDSM is not inherently abusive. I think Jonah's daddy issues stemming from his homophobic father and wanting to please both him and God in his deeply Christian family is really interesting and will no doubt resonate with a lot of people's experience, but I think it's important to note that wanting to be dominated in sex is not inherently 'pathological', and even if it stems from mommy/daddy issues, it's still a valid sexual preference and people can engage in BDSM and have it be a healthy dynamic (that doesn't mean that we can't or shouldn't interrogate cultural trends around daddy issues, but it does mean that we shouldn't pathologize individuals with these sexual preferences because that doesn't help anyone).
Also, if you still want to read this book, please please look into trigger warnings, this book covers very heavy subjects and all the things I listed under 'graphic' content warnings are indeed EXTREMELY graphic.
However, I think this book is just poorly executed. The characters and the relationships are not developed well enough for me to believe in them, and the dynamics of an abusive relationship are equally poorly written. It feels like the author read a blog post about Abuse 101 and clumsily inserted every point at random intervals throughout the story. Like, all the dynamics - Jonah gaslighting himself and his experience of abuse, Richard compensating with meaningless shopping sprees after something bad happens - feel disingenuous, insincere; I just wasn't convinced by the author that these characters and relationships are real. They feel very one-dimensional, pawns to illustrate the author's point but lacking in development and depth.
This is really my main issue with the story but I also wanted to mention that of course it's really important to shed light on how old men can coerce younger men into playing out their BDSM fantasies - but BDSM is not inherently abusive. I think Jonah's daddy issues stemming from his homophobic father and wanting to please both him and God in his deeply Christian family is really interesting and will no doubt resonate with a lot of people's experience, but I think it's important to note that wanting to be dominated in sex is not inherently 'pathological', and even if it stems from mommy/daddy issues, it's still a valid sexual preference and people can engage in BDSM and have it be a healthy dynamic (that doesn't mean that we can't or shouldn't interrogate cultural trends around daddy issues, but it does mean that we shouldn't pathologize individuals with these sexual preferences because that doesn't help anyone).
Also, if you still want to read this book, please please look into trigger warnings, this book covers very heavy subjects and all the things I listed under 'graphic' content warnings are indeed EXTREMELY graphic.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Abandonment, Alcohol, Confinement, Drug use, Gaslighting, Homophobia, Injury/Injury detail, Physical abuse, Rape, Religious bigotry, Toxic relationship, and Violence