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fragilelikejas 's review for:
this one feels difficult to rate because the way the writing was organized was confusing for me! i got a lot out of it when it comes to reframing my understanding of interpersonal conflict and how overstating harm is ultimately not helpful (or even realized when it's happening) and how misunderstanding and misnaming conflict that can be resolved ultimately only serves systems of supremacy. some takeaways i've been considering:
•when i'm in conflict with someone, am i more interested to producing a victim or in figuring out what actually happened and speaking to that?
• the word abuse is often used ambiguously and as an umbrella term, while physical violence can be more straight forward to recognize as abuse, i should specify other kinds of harm (shunning, huminilating, bullying, manipulation, etc) bc naming what is happening can better help me to name what i want to be done about it.
• true loyalty is not about picking a side, instead i can view loyalty as supporting deescalatiom and finding a solution to conflict that will benefit who i am loval to and also reduce harm overall.
• being silent/not giving people the opportunity to engage in two way communication escalates harm. can i commit to engaging in conflict through face to face conversation when possible in order to reduce the possibility of misunderstanding and increase opportunities for authenticity?
i found my takeaways really impactful for me in how i understand interpersonal conflict i've been in/am currently navigating. the wider connections to societal conflicts (the way HIV+ folks have historically been misnamed as abusive and dangerous and the way Palestinian occupation persists through lack of global community responsibility in intervening during crucial moments of violence) seemed like it should've been in its own separate book, or at least organized in smoother way!
•when i'm in conflict with someone, am i more interested to producing a victim or in figuring out what actually happened and speaking to that?
• the word abuse is often used ambiguously and as an umbrella term, while physical violence can be more straight forward to recognize as abuse, i should specify other kinds of harm (shunning, huminilating, bullying, manipulation, etc) bc naming what is happening can better help me to name what i want to be done about it.
• true loyalty is not about picking a side, instead i can view loyalty as supporting deescalatiom and finding a solution to conflict that will benefit who i am loval to and also reduce harm overall.
• being silent/not giving people the opportunity to engage in two way communication escalates harm. can i commit to engaging in conflict through face to face conversation when possible in order to reduce the possibility of misunderstanding and increase opportunities for authenticity?
i found my takeaways really impactful for me in how i understand interpersonal conflict i've been in/am currently navigating. the wider connections to societal conflicts (the way HIV+ folks have historically been misnamed as abusive and dangerous and the way Palestinian occupation persists through lack of global community responsibility in intervening during crucial moments of violence) seemed like it should've been in its own separate book, or at least organized in smoother way!