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A review by clyssandre
1-2-3 Magic by Thomas W. Phelan
5.0
Full disclosure: I didn't quite try the method yet, since my son is only 17 months as I'm writing this. This review is about my feelings after reading the book rather than about the effectiveness of the 1-2-3 method.
I wanted to feel a bit prepared for the years to come. I already knew what kind of mother I didn't want to be (impatient, irrational, confusing, unsupportive...) but that doesn't necessarily guarantee you'll find the strategies to do well. This book helped tremendously. It has a very simple, clear method to apply to obnoxious behaviours--basically, counting--and an arsenal of strategies to encourage your children into positive behaviours (tidying, homework, etc.).
Even though my child is too young at the moment for most of the strategies, I feel that I could already apply the "spirit" of it, especially the idea of not considering my kid a little adult ("don't throw food, it's wasteful!") or turning into an entertainment for him (saying "no" and picking up the food on the floor, in loop).
I really appreciate his strong arguments and advice about keeping calm when disciplining children, which was my main concern. I feel that when you have a plan, you're much less likely to get annoyed at childish behaviours.
Finally, I found it very interested that "stop" behaviour (obnoxious behaviours like fighting) and "start" behaviours (doing his homework) was treated differently. It made complete sense once I read it, but I would probably not have distinguished them on my own. I really loved all the different strategies" that are offered for start behaviour (timer, charting, etc.), because they sound firm but not aggressive.
I'm really glad I came accross this book and really recommend it to other parents.
I wanted to feel a bit prepared for the years to come. I already knew what kind of mother I didn't want to be (impatient, irrational, confusing, unsupportive...) but that doesn't necessarily guarantee you'll find the strategies to do well. This book helped tremendously. It has a very simple, clear method to apply to obnoxious behaviours--basically, counting--and an arsenal of strategies to encourage your children into positive behaviours (tidying, homework, etc.).
Even though my child is too young at the moment for most of the strategies, I feel that I could already apply the "spirit" of it, especially the idea of not considering my kid a little adult ("don't throw food, it's wasteful!") or turning into an entertainment for him (saying "no" and picking up the food on the floor, in loop).
I really appreciate his strong arguments and advice about keeping calm when disciplining children, which was my main concern. I feel that when you have a plan, you're much less likely to get annoyed at childish behaviours.
Finally, I found it very interested that "stop" behaviour (obnoxious behaviours like fighting) and "start" behaviours (doing his homework) was treated differently. It made complete sense once I read it, but I would probably not have distinguished them on my own. I really loved all the different strategies" that are offered for start behaviour (timer, charting, etc.), because they sound firm but not aggressive.
I'm really glad I came accross this book and really recommend it to other parents.