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A review by woodmonsters
Jerkbait by Mia Siegert
2.0
This book had so much potential. It could have been one of those books that make me think it should be a movie. I enjoyed the first part of Jerkbait a lot. I was sitting there reading and thinking "This is really good!" and boy, was I wrong.
The story started out alright, as we are introduced to Tristan, a straight guy who likes musicals and plays hockey against his will. I liked him at first but now that I think about it, he's kind of the male counterpart to the "I'm not like other girls" trope, which I dislike immensely. Tristan's brother Robbie is the prodigal son who plays hockey, is gay and tries too kill himself more than once. The only thing I love more than hockey is gay hockey players (I blame "Check, please!" An awesome web comic that's much better than this hideous book). I loved Robbie and I really wished we had gotten his POV because this book is being marketed as LGBT classic or something and yet all we we get to see is how miserable the STRAIGHT guy is.
I'm not sure this author knows teenagers. There are mentions of AIM and Myspace that are terribly out of place. Also, it's 2016 and the story DOES NOT take place in a small conservative southern town so why the hell is every character so blatantly homophobic? Tolerance is more widespread these days. Seriously why does the author assume all jocks are assholes? I know she probably wanted to increase the angst but why must people be so one dimensional? And speaking of dimensions, what the flying fuuck was up with Heather? She's introduced as this nerdy theater chick who writes fanfiction and watches anime and suddenly turns into a raging, backstabbing homophobic bitch for no reason at all? Literally, there's no explanation but her betrayal and horrible behavior. I was expecting a backstory or something that would clear things for me but no such thing ever happened. Turns out she was just a bitch all along just because the author needed another cartoon villain.
But what's worse about this book, what really made me think it was a waste of time, was the motherfucking ending. I got 3 words to describe that train wreck: WHAT. THE. FUCK?. It was the oddest climax to a story that I have ever read. Robbie gets catfished by a pedophile who kidnaps him and rapes him. As if the kid needed more reasons to kill himself. But for some reason, rape was the cure to all his issues cause he gets better afterwards instead of worse like a real person would. Robbie is rescued by our straight hero, Tristan who uses TELEPATHY to find him. Apparently, the twins can to talk to each other inside their heads. There's no lead to this, no mention of such thing being possible in this weird universe where people still use myspace. It just happens literally two chapters before the book ends. It's awful and ridiculous! Seriously, how did it get published? How did nobody tell the author that the ending to her book was a piece of shit? Gosh, how can people read that and still give this book 5 stars and call it a generational masterpiece? Jerkbait has literally the WORST ending I have ever read and I cannot fathom someone telling the author it was a good idea. It sucked so much it ruined everything for me. It's a shit ending, it really is.
Do I recommend reading this book? Sure! Just make sure you don't read the last few chapters. Seriously, make up your own ending. It's clearly bound to be better than the original one.
The story started out alright, as we are introduced to Tristan, a straight guy who likes musicals and plays hockey against his will. I liked him at first but now that I think about it, he's kind of the male counterpart to the "I'm not like other girls" trope, which I dislike immensely. Tristan's brother Robbie is the prodigal son who plays hockey, is gay and tries too kill himself more than once. The only thing I love more than hockey is gay hockey players (I blame "Check, please!" An awesome web comic that's much better than this hideous book). I loved Robbie and I really wished we had gotten his POV because this book is being marketed as LGBT classic or something and yet all we we get to see is how miserable the STRAIGHT guy is.
I'm not sure this author knows teenagers. There are mentions of AIM and Myspace that are terribly out of place. Also, it's 2016 and the story DOES NOT take place in a small conservative southern town so why the hell is every character so blatantly homophobic? Tolerance is more widespread these days. Seriously why does the author assume all jocks are assholes? I know she probably wanted to increase the angst but why must people be so one dimensional? And speaking of dimensions, what the flying fuuck was up with Heather? She's introduced as this nerdy theater chick who writes fanfiction and watches anime and suddenly turns into a raging, backstabbing homophobic bitch for no reason at all? Literally, there's no explanation but her betrayal and horrible behavior. I was expecting a backstory or something that would clear things for me but no such thing ever happened. Turns out she was just a bitch all along just because the author needed another cartoon villain.
But what's worse about this book, what really made me think it was a waste of time, was the motherfucking ending. I got 3 words to describe that train wreck: WHAT. THE. FUCK?. It was the oddest climax to a story that I have ever read. Robbie gets catfished by a pedophile who kidnaps him and rapes him. As if the kid needed more reasons to kill himself. But for some reason, rape was the cure to all his issues cause he gets better afterwards instead of worse like a real person would. Robbie is rescued by our straight hero, Tristan who uses TELEPATHY to find him. Apparently, the twins can to talk to each other inside their heads. There's no lead to this, no mention of such thing being possible in this weird universe where people still use myspace. It just happens literally two chapters before the book ends. It's awful and ridiculous! Seriously, how did it get published? How did nobody tell the author that the ending to her book was a piece of shit? Gosh, how can people read that and still give this book 5 stars and call it a generational masterpiece? Jerkbait has literally the WORST ending I have ever read and I cannot fathom someone telling the author it was a good idea. It sucked so much it ruined everything for me. It's a shit ending, it really is.
Do I recommend reading this book? Sure! Just make sure you don't read the last few chapters. Seriously, make up your own ending. It's clearly bound to be better than the original one.