Scan barcode
A review by tasmanian_bibliophile
All I Know: A memoir of love, loss and life by Mary Coustas
5.0
‘This is a story about life and death, a memoir based on a part of my history about which I never imagined writing.‘
In this memoir, Mary Coustas takes us on a journey through three significant deaths that have shaped her life. This memoir incorporates Mary’s memories of those who died and celebrates the lives of those who have been part of her life’s journey so far.
‘But loss has driven me to find answers in what remains, to airlift myself to a place that serves me better than helplessness and misery. To reach out. This is my love letter to what lives on beyond the devastation.’
Mary’s journey is at times heartbreaking, but it is also filled with observation, gentle humour and is ultimately uplifting. While losses are acknowledged and remembered, the future holds its own promise. Mary recounts her childhood in Collingwood and Doncaster, knowing that her beloved father had already suffered heart attacks and could die at any time. And when he did die, she missed him terribly.
‘The death of my father had left a void that hadn’t been filled by the birth of anything new.’
Mary writes of her choice to be an actor, of the success of her character Effie in ‘Acropolis Now’, of personal expectations, of visiting her maternal grandmother in Greece with her mother. There’s a beautiful scene with her grandmother and mother, and a growing sense of the importance of family connections and heritage. By the time that she dies, her grandmother has lived in the same house for over seventy years. She may not have travelled much in any physical sense, but her influence is enormous.
‘Letting go is an even bigger sign of love than begging for more when time won’t allow it.’
But the main focus of Mary’s memoir is on her meeting, then in 2005 marrying, George Betsis, and six weeks later discovering that she is infertile. Much of the remainder of the memoir talks of the challenges of undergoing IVF treatment, of disappointment followed by pregnancy, of the difficulties of that pregnancy and the stillbirth of her daughter, Stevie, and of the support of family and friends.
‘I know that death is only ever a breath away and having witnessed that myself has only awakened me to living more fully.’
It’s important to me to mention that since writing this book Mary and George have become parents: their daughter Jamie was born on 28 November 2013. I knew this when I read the book, but I had little idea of the difficulties Mary and George had encountered along the way.
This book made me laugh, and cry, and I would recommend it to anyone interested either in Mary Coustas specifically, or IVF experiences and life more generally.
‘Fantasy comes with a very thin façade that disappointment often hides behind.’
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
In this memoir, Mary Coustas takes us on a journey through three significant deaths that have shaped her life. This memoir incorporates Mary’s memories of those who died and celebrates the lives of those who have been part of her life’s journey so far.
‘But loss has driven me to find answers in what remains, to airlift myself to a place that serves me better than helplessness and misery. To reach out. This is my love letter to what lives on beyond the devastation.’
Mary’s journey is at times heartbreaking, but it is also filled with observation, gentle humour and is ultimately uplifting. While losses are acknowledged and remembered, the future holds its own promise. Mary recounts her childhood in Collingwood and Doncaster, knowing that her beloved father had already suffered heart attacks and could die at any time. And when he did die, she missed him terribly.
‘The death of my father had left a void that hadn’t been filled by the birth of anything new.’
Mary writes of her choice to be an actor, of the success of her character Effie in ‘Acropolis Now’, of personal expectations, of visiting her maternal grandmother in Greece with her mother. There’s a beautiful scene with her grandmother and mother, and a growing sense of the importance of family connections and heritage. By the time that she dies, her grandmother has lived in the same house for over seventy years. She may not have travelled much in any physical sense, but her influence is enormous.
‘Letting go is an even bigger sign of love than begging for more when time won’t allow it.’
But the main focus of Mary’s memoir is on her meeting, then in 2005 marrying, George Betsis, and six weeks later discovering that she is infertile. Much of the remainder of the memoir talks of the challenges of undergoing IVF treatment, of disappointment followed by pregnancy, of the difficulties of that pregnancy and the stillbirth of her daughter, Stevie, and of the support of family and friends.
‘I know that death is only ever a breath away and having witnessed that myself has only awakened me to living more fully.’
It’s important to me to mention that since writing this book Mary and George have become parents: their daughter Jamie was born on 28 November 2013. I knew this when I read the book, but I had little idea of the difficulties Mary and George had encountered along the way.
This book made me laugh, and cry, and I would recommend it to anyone interested either in Mary Coustas specifically, or IVF experiences and life more generally.
‘Fantasy comes with a very thin façade that disappointment often hides behind.’
Jennifer Cameron-Smith