A review by booking_along
I'm a Fan by Sheena Patel

fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.5

This could have been great! 
it could have been this moving deeply emotional or even funny commentary about basically a large amount of an generation not really knowing what to do, how to fit in, seeing others at a similar age having families or successes, building lives and homes and apparently showing off their happiness on social media while this one person feeling left out, left behind and maybe not abandoned but feeling that way non the less. 

this could have been about a woman wanting to be what she could never be -a white women- by obsessing over her and then learning that being yourself is better, or if not a book with a happy ending than just learning just how fake that perfect white woman on social medias life really is. 


instead we get a story that just rambles on seemingly endlessly  about a very unhappy woman that keeps making the same mistakes -sleeping with an older married man- and expecting a different result from it than being left behind by him over and over again. 
we get a woman obsessively stalking a social media person, being jealous and envious about her life but doing nothing about it but feel those things almost constantly. 

and in between those things we get small snippets of how unhappy this narrator -unnamed and anonymous like everyone else in this book- with the life she build herself but again doing nothing to chance it even though there is nothing stopping her from at least trying to become someone she might like more or at least build a life she could enjoy more. 

i am not sure if this book is trying to be “edgy” or “cool” with the sexual moments and how they are talked about in this book, but they felt utterly forced and as of trying to hard to make something feel normal or realistic in a way that makes it just feel too noticeable and forced because of that. 

getting a description about a guys penis and how he feels inside a woman and how she misses, having her think about   that while she is rolling around with him (why that entire scene even happens as it did i have no clue!) on grass for no reason other than making that entire scene trying to sexualized a man and a woman touching not really sexually but forcing it to be a sexualizied scene…. 


for me this entire book was a mess.

it didn’t do anything that it could have done. 
it didn’t make the amount of commentary it could have made about all things the book tries to make commentary about. 

the writing feels clunky and too forced and trying too hard way to often. 

this entire thing about never naming anyone  and with that (just guessing here) giving the option for the reader to fill those roles as they want… it didn’t work. it just made the entire story feel too generic and the characters distant. 


clearly this is one of those books that landed on a prize list where i don’t understand why they are on there. 

and not because i because the book isn’t for anyone and written in a way that should never have been published. 
but because this book is needs a very specific reader to get honest good ratings and reviews. 
putting this book in competition - and that’s what a prize list basically does!- with other books that appeal to a much wider audience much easier is unfair to this book. 
for example i would have picked this book up if it wouldn’t have been on the prize list because nothing about it interested me. 

but being on the list i expected more from this book than it promised to deliver. 
i expected deeper meanings and fantastic writing. i expected social commentary or something meaningful that years from now readers will understand our specific moment in time with thanks to this current contemporary story. 


but this book never promised to do that - the listing on a book prize that promised me this is one of the best published books by a female author during this years time did that.  without that promise this book could have been an okay read. 
but with that explanation this was a disappointing read. 

what i am trying to say here is this:

sometimes books like this should be marketed towards a large audience because it might get them publicity that the author deserves for publishing my a book but negative reactions it wouldn’t have gotten because it’s not a book that a wider audience will love. 

not sure if any of that made sense outside my head. 


sadly this wasn’t for me. 
and i would recommend it to anyone expect if a person asked specifically for a recommendation that would fit this book. 

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