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A review by charspages
Now I Rise by Kiersten White
5.0
"'I come like that star, burning in the night.' She raised her voice so everyone could hear."
Did I finish this book or did this book finish me?
You. Guys. I am astounded, I am dumbfounded, I am shooketh. I am but a mere fool, helpless to Kiersten White's otherworldly and vexing way with words.
Did [b:Now I Rise|40669906|Now I Rise (The Conqueror's Saga, #2)|Kiersten White|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1530288861l/40669906._SY75_.jpg|42367441] fuck with my head and my heart? Did it twist everything I ever believed way out of shape until all I saw was a mere distortion of reality? Did it stab me in the heart 6123 times, luring me into its trap through beautiful prose time and time again?
It did, and it did it so well that I've spent the last two days alternating between contemplating my entire existence and researching historical events. If you're not spending your time lounging on a diwan in ancient Constantinople, looking out over streets of gold as your servants feed you grapes so exquisitely sweet they feel like star-bursts on your tongue, what is even the point?
I am overcome with the devastating desire to write love letters like poetry on fine parchment that smells of the delicate lilies I pressed between pages of leather-bound tomes, then send them to my lover with a chaste kiss to seal the envelope - or alternatively, to wrap myself in a thick fur coat and ride amongst men with bows and more arrows than teeth towards a castle that sits glittering in the distance, awaiting me like my destiny.
Okay, enough with the pretentious nonsense. Let's get real.
This book is so damn atmospheric that it's a little like a super exclusive club: kind of difficult to get into and impossible to get out of. Once you start letting yourself crumble under the sheer weight of Kiersten White's words, there is no way of putting yourself back together again. It's fantastically suctioning you in like a vortex, designed like an overwhelmingly intricate castle you can't help but get lost in. I've hardly read anything that was so gripping through sheer phrasing alone, even when its
PLOT: 4 / 5
left some to be desired.
"'Do not lose that hunger. You will always have to fight for everything. You will have to be more ruthless, more brutal, more everything. Any weakness will undo everything you have accomplished. They will see any crack as evidence that they were right that a woman cannot do what you do.'
Hunyadi knew what he spoke of. Her merits, her accomplishments, her strength would never speak for themselves. She would have to cut her way through the world, uphill, for the rest of her life."
In the second instalment of The Conqueror's Saga, we get to observe both Lada and Radu on their way to and through war. As Lada pursues her dreams of becoming prince of Wallachia, Radu finds himself lost in the intrigues and lies of Constantinople, the city he is supposed to make Mehmed's capital. Like [b:And I Darken|27190613|And I Darken (The Conqueror's Saga, #1)|Kiersten White|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1449153532l/27190613._SY75_.jpg|41682914], Now I Rise doesn't have the most exciting plot in the world. Fabricating a war is surprisingly weary, actually.
The rather slow pace does nothing to diminish the epic feel of White's story, though. I was left flying through the pages with as much fervor as I would have followed the most suspenseful thriller in the world (actually, more than that, because I hate thrillers.) Some parts move quite slowly, while at other times you are bombarded by everything happening at once. There was a considerable amount more action than in And I Darken, and much higher stakes, too.
What truly intrigued me was how accurately White portrayed a siege. (At least I imagine she portrayed it accurately - I can't really speak from experience, as I've never been under siege.) The war revolving around Constantinople, a city no longer full of glory but rather full of ghosts, was tiring. There were not a lot of epic battle scenes, but an abundance of strategic moves that were supposed to bring the war to its end.
And like nothing I've ever read before, I just felt so exhausted every time I put the book down. The sheer agony of lying in wait right in front of your enemy is a feeling White captures very accurately, without actually making the book agonizing to read. I'd still say this is more suited to those looking for complex worlds and characters and amazing atmospheric writing instead of those wanting an adrenaline kick or a nerve-wracking plot.
CHARACTERS: 5 / 5
No other book has ever managed to make me question my own loyalty so much. Seriously, I was changing sides every two seconds because I just didn't know who was in the right.
"She was a dragon. She was a prince. She was the only hope Wallachia had of ever prospering. And she would do whatever it took to get there."
My dear LADA. From the bottom of my heart, I apologize. I have been so wrong about you all this time.
In And I Darken, I truly did not like Lada. On the contrary, I almost detested her for how cruel and ruthless she was. Granted, I thought she was a great character even then, complex, well-crafted, developed, and believable. But I still hated her for being such a conniving, selfish, cruel thing. I did not think her likable.
The first half of my statement still stands: Lada is one of the most interesting and complex characters to exist. She is a female character other authors couldn't even cook up if they asked Antoni Porowski for help.
The second half I will have to alter: I do like Lada. Finally I could see some sense in her actions, some heart in her soul. She is not all that heartless. She is simply morally vey, very gray. But that's what makes her great.
"'So you were wrong. I survived, and Radu grew a new heart.'"
RADU, my sweet stupid summer child. What a mess you've been this book.
As much as I was taken aback by suddenly enjoying Lada, I was twice as shocked at finding myself annoyed, angry even with my all-time favorite Draculesti. Don't get me wrong: I still love Radu with all my heart and will defend him with my dying breath. But he's just had to give up some of the room he takes up in my heart - which is still plenty - for his sister.
Radu is a tortured character whose pain feels familiar to me on many levels. He is lost in a world where everyone has a clear point of view; he falls in and out of favor, love, and faith. Being so torn between your old loyalties and new love is refreshingly heartbreaking, and Kiersten White pulls it off perfectly. I was looking forward to every single one of Radu's chapters - even though I sometimes wanted to hit him over the head with a brick - but by the end of them, I was usually left in a miserable pile of angst. If you're a fan of torture, just think about Radu, never having a happy childhood; Radu, never chosen for who he is, but only for his assets; Radu, always coming second; Radu, the valuable pawn. My heart is broken.
I was delighted that White also introduced other characters in more depth: HUNYADI was nothing like what I expected him to be, and it was awesome. By far one of the best and most surprising developments in a character I've ever read about.
NAZIRA is an absolute legend. I love her. I hope she is happy and safe and warm with Fatima and that they live together forever. I stan a queen.
URBANA was only there for a brief time, but she sure was cool and, most importantly, another complex and interesting female character. How does Kiersten White do it? Does she have a secret stash of perfectly developed female characters somewhere? I want in, Kiersten, and while I'm at it, I kind of totally want to marry Urbana, my cannon-building queen.
Who totally got me was CYPRIAN. What a beautiful, kind, gentle soul. Heart eye emoji heart eye emoji. I mean, how can you be so good that the heavens literally open up to pour sunshine and rain and eternal love upon everyone just because you smiled once? I'm in love.
Also, Cyprian really learned how to speak Turkish and requested to personally be sent on a mission that would most likely be extremely dangerous, perhaps even deadly just so see his crush again? Don't even think of hitting on me unless you've achieved this level of extra.
On an unrelated note, M*hmed can fucking choke. I'm so through with his manipulative ass putting my children in constant danger for some dumb ass city. When will my favorite Draculesti siblings slit his throat and rule together???
WORLD BUILDING: 4 / 5
As with And I Darken, the world building in Now I Rise is excellent. Since And I Darken did a solid job at introducing the reader to the world of beys, Janissaries, and sultans, I now feel confident when terms like pasha or vizier are thrown at me. I got this.
Constantinople, a freshly introduced setting, is an interesting and richly crafted location, though it feels rather disappointing in comparison to splendid Edirne or earthly Tirgoviste. Which I believe is sort of the whole point, with Mehmed chasing after dreams of a broken city and whatnot. So kudos to Kiersten White for portraying that so accurately and making me feel like I personally witnessed the fall of the walls of Constantinople.
What confused me a little bit was the timeline: Radu's chapters always play out a couple weeks ahead of Lada's, which is demonstrated through the dates at the top of each chapter. I found this both confusing and distracting and could have done without it, but other than that, Kiersten White's world building is impeccable as always.
DIVERSITY: 5 / 5
So many muslims? So much discussion of Islam? Plus everything else I said about the first book, pretty much. The Conqueror's Saga remains one of the most diverse Young-Adult-series I've read thus far, in an effortless way.
There's one part especially that really hit me: the fear, guilt, shame, and sheer desperation that Radu feels about being gay. His identity crisis takes up its fair share of pages in this book, and I felt every line so deeply.
Yes, books about gay angst have been done a hundred times. But none of them have been done by Kiersten White.
"'I cannot have the love I want under any religion. It is wrong.'"
Imagine twelve-year-old Radu finding solace and peace for the very first time in his life in prayer and in God. Imagine him finding out that the exact same thing that brought him relief and happiness tells him what he is feeling is wrong, sinful, disgusting.
Gay angst in 1454 is something very, very different to gay angst in 2018, and Kiersten White acknowledges that. I believe that - given the historic context and considering the circumstances Radu is living under - her portrayal of his being tortured by loving men is more than accurate; it is honest.
And yet - and this is the most important part! - she does not write a book without hope. On the contrary: there are countless signs that say Radu can be okay, can find happiness with another man and with himself foremost. Like this paragraph that resonated with me so deeply:
"'I cannot imagine a god who hates anything that is love, any way we find to take tender care of each other. I want you to find that same love, and I never want you to hate yourself for any love that is in you.'"
This brought me to my knees with tears in my eyes for one very simple reason: I feel so, so torn up about being bi. I realized I was attracted to girls also when I was thirteen, and it was a bone-jarring realization that didn't sit very well with me. I don't wish to be any different; I wouldn't change if I could.
But there's still a part of me that shrinks away in fear every single time someone mentions my sexuality, a part that makes my heart race and my throat go dry. There's still a part of me that keeps saying it's wrong for me to be the way that I am, that I should have been normal, that life could have been so much easier for me. It's the part of me that makes me too scared to talk about girls I crush on. It's the part of me that sometimes keeps me up at night, wondering why it had to be this way.
I'm fighting that part every day. I'm trying to be proud and, thankfully, a lot of the time I succeed. I love the LGBT community, despite all its flaws, so deeply. I am so thankful to be a part of it. But some days, I just need to read lines like the ones above, lines I never got to read when I was younger (because LGBT people in the media were virtually nonexistent) and would have very much needed. To the part of me that still needs to hear it: I never want you to hate yourself for any love that is in you. So thank you, Kiersten White, for speaking to a part of me that has been silenced for so long.
Man, that got way more emotional than I intended. Back to me raving about how much I love this book, huh?
WRITING STYLE: 5 / 5
If I wanted to compile a list of my favorite quotes from this book, it would be precisely 459 pages long.
Seriously, Kiersten White is a master at crafting prose that reads like poetry and feels like a suckerpunch. Her whole phrasing is a reminder that literature is art.
What I loved most were the many stylistic devices, because White employs those like a pro. Like that's not enough, she is also a Queen at this game us writers like to play called Show, Don't Tell. It's usually a rather tough sucker, but White has that beast eating out of her hand like a lap dog:
"The storm had disappeared as suddenly as it came, the clouds taking residence on the earth instead. The air was still and dead, the city shrouded as if for burial."
I mean, how aesthetically pleasing can you make fog sound? I am floored.
Another thing White does - and she does it well - is conveying the right emotions through pacing and description.Those two pages have so much more sexual tension than any of Sarah J. Maas's so-called "sex-scenes" could ever dream of. Feysand, take some damn notes. Enough with the feasting.
OVERALL RATING: 4.5 / 5
I have so many thoughts and feelings regarding this book, it's a little hard to organize them all into a semi-coherent review. An alternative version of this would be me, screaming for six hours.
Charlotte out.
PRE-REVIEW NOTES
09 / 11 / 2018
I am 100 % done with this book and also life. Excuse me while I curl up and try to fathom whatever just happened for the next six years.
RTC whenever I stop crying I guess??
Did I finish this book or did this book finish me?
You. Guys. I am astounded, I am dumbfounded, I am shooketh. I am but a mere fool, helpless to Kiersten White's otherworldly and vexing way with words.
Did [b:Now I Rise|40669906|Now I Rise (The Conqueror's Saga, #2)|Kiersten White|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1530288861l/40669906._SY75_.jpg|42367441] fuck with my head and my heart? Did it twist everything I ever believed way out of shape until all I saw was a mere distortion of reality? Did it stab me in the heart 6123 times, luring me into its trap through beautiful prose time and time again?
It did, and it did it so well that I've spent the last two days alternating between contemplating my entire existence and researching historical events. If you're not spending your time lounging on a diwan in ancient Constantinople, looking out over streets of gold as your servants feed you grapes so exquisitely sweet they feel like star-bursts on your tongue, what is even the point?
I am overcome with the devastating desire to write love letters like poetry on fine parchment that smells of the delicate lilies I pressed between pages of leather-bound tomes, then send them to my lover with a chaste kiss to seal the envelope - or alternatively, to wrap myself in a thick fur coat and ride amongst men with bows and more arrows than teeth towards a castle that sits glittering in the distance, awaiting me like my destiny.
Okay, enough with the pretentious nonsense. Let's get real.
This book is so damn atmospheric that it's a little like a super exclusive club: kind of difficult to get into and impossible to get out of. Once you start letting yourself crumble under the sheer weight of Kiersten White's words, there is no way of putting yourself back together again. It's fantastically suctioning you in like a vortex, designed like an overwhelmingly intricate castle you can't help but get lost in. I've hardly read anything that was so gripping through sheer phrasing alone, even when its
PLOT: 4 / 5
left some to be desired.
"'Do not lose that hunger. You will always have to fight for everything. You will have to be more ruthless, more brutal, more everything. Any weakness will undo everything you have accomplished. They will see any crack as evidence that they were right that a woman cannot do what you do.'
Hunyadi knew what he spoke of. Her merits, her accomplishments, her strength would never speak for themselves. She would have to cut her way through the world, uphill, for the rest of her life."
In the second instalment of The Conqueror's Saga, we get to observe both Lada and Radu on their way to and through war. As Lada pursues her dreams of becoming prince of Wallachia, Radu finds himself lost in the intrigues and lies of Constantinople, the city he is supposed to make Mehmed's capital. Like [b:And I Darken|27190613|And I Darken (The Conqueror's Saga, #1)|Kiersten White|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1449153532l/27190613._SY75_.jpg|41682914], Now I Rise doesn't have the most exciting plot in the world. Fabricating a war is surprisingly weary, actually.
The rather slow pace does nothing to diminish the epic feel of White's story, though. I was left flying through the pages with as much fervor as I would have followed the most suspenseful thriller in the world (actually, more than that, because I hate thrillers.) Some parts move quite slowly, while at other times you are bombarded by everything happening at once. There was a considerable amount more action than in And I Darken, and much higher stakes, too.
What truly intrigued me was how accurately White portrayed a siege. (At least I imagine she portrayed it accurately - I can't really speak from experience, as I've never been under siege.) The war revolving around Constantinople, a city no longer full of glory but rather full of ghosts, was tiring. There were not a lot of epic battle scenes, but an abundance of strategic moves that were supposed to bring the war to its end.
And like nothing I've ever read before, I just felt so exhausted every time I put the book down. The sheer agony of lying in wait right in front of your enemy is a feeling White captures very accurately, without actually making the book agonizing to read. I'd still say this is more suited to those looking for complex worlds and characters and amazing atmospheric writing instead of those wanting an adrenaline kick or a nerve-wracking plot.
CHARACTERS: 5 / 5
No other book has ever managed to make me question my own loyalty so much. Seriously, I was changing sides every two seconds because I just didn't know who was in the right.
"She was a dragon. She was a prince. She was the only hope Wallachia had of ever prospering. And she would do whatever it took to get there."
My dear LADA. From the bottom of my heart, I apologize. I have been so wrong about you all this time.
In And I Darken, I truly did not like Lada. On the contrary, I almost detested her for how cruel and ruthless she was. Granted, I thought she was a great character even then, complex, well-crafted, developed, and believable. But I still hated her for being such a conniving, selfish, cruel thing. I did not think her likable.
The first half of my statement still stands: Lada is one of the most interesting and complex characters to exist. She is a female character other authors couldn't even cook up if they asked Antoni Porowski for help.
The second half I will have to alter: I do like Lada. Finally I could see some sense in her actions, some heart in her soul. She is not all that heartless. She is simply morally vey, very gray. But that's what makes her great.
"'So you were wrong. I survived, and Radu grew a new heart.'"
RADU, my sweet stupid summer child. What a mess you've been this book.
As much as I was taken aback by suddenly enjoying Lada, I was twice as shocked at finding myself annoyed, angry even with my all-time favorite Draculesti. Don't get me wrong: I still love Radu with all my heart and will defend him with my dying breath. But he's just had to give up some of the room he takes up in my heart - which is still plenty - for his sister.
Radu is a tortured character whose pain feels familiar to me on many levels. He is lost in a world where everyone has a clear point of view; he falls in and out of favor, love, and faith. Being so torn between your old loyalties and new love is refreshingly heartbreaking, and Kiersten White pulls it off perfectly. I was looking forward to every single one of Radu's chapters - even though I sometimes wanted to hit him over the head with a brick - but by the end of them, I was usually left in a miserable pile of angst. If you're a fan of torture, just think about Radu, never having a happy childhood; Radu, never chosen for who he is, but only for his assets; Radu, always coming second; Radu, the valuable pawn. My heart is broken.
I was delighted that White also introduced other characters in more depth: HUNYADI was nothing like what I expected him to be, and it was awesome. By far one of the best and most surprising developments in a character I've ever read about.
NAZIRA is an absolute legend. I love her. I hope she is happy and safe and warm with Fatima and that they live together forever. I stan a queen.
URBANA was only there for a brief time, but she sure was cool and, most importantly, another complex and interesting female character. How does Kiersten White do it? Does she have a secret stash of perfectly developed female characters somewhere? I want in, Kiersten, and while I'm at it, I kind of totally want to marry Urbana, my cannon-building queen.
Who totally got me was CYPRIAN. What a beautiful, kind, gentle soul. Heart eye emoji heart eye emoji. I mean, how can you be so good that the heavens literally open up to pour sunshine and rain and eternal love upon everyone just because you smiled once? I'm in love.
Also, Cyprian really learned how to speak Turkish and requested to personally be sent on a mission that would most likely be extremely dangerous, perhaps even deadly just so see his crush again? Don't even think of hitting on me unless you've achieved this level of extra.
On an unrelated note, M*hmed can fucking choke. I'm so through with his manipulative ass putting my children in constant danger for some dumb ass city. When will my favorite Draculesti siblings slit his throat and rule together???
WORLD BUILDING: 4 / 5
As with And I Darken, the world building in Now I Rise is excellent. Since And I Darken did a solid job at introducing the reader to the world of beys, Janissaries, and sultans, I now feel confident when terms like pasha or vizier are thrown at me. I got this.
Constantinople, a freshly introduced setting, is an interesting and richly crafted location, though it feels rather disappointing in comparison to splendid Edirne or earthly Tirgoviste. Which I believe is sort of the whole point, with Mehmed chasing after dreams of a broken city and whatnot. So kudos to Kiersten White for portraying that so accurately and making me feel like I personally witnessed the fall of the walls of Constantinople.
What confused me a little bit was the timeline: Radu's chapters always play out a couple weeks ahead of Lada's, which is demonstrated through the dates at the top of each chapter. I found this both confusing and distracting and could have done without it, but other than that, Kiersten White's world building is impeccable as always.
DIVERSITY: 5 / 5
So many muslims? So much discussion of Islam? Plus everything else I said about the first book, pretty much. The Conqueror's Saga remains one of the most diverse Young-Adult-series I've read thus far, in an effortless way.
There's one part especially that really hit me: the fear, guilt, shame, and sheer desperation that Radu feels about being gay. His identity crisis takes up its fair share of pages in this book, and I felt every line so deeply.
Yes, books about gay angst have been done a hundred times. But none of them have been done by Kiersten White.
"'I cannot have the love I want under any religion. It is wrong.'"
Imagine twelve-year-old Radu finding solace and peace for the very first time in his life in prayer and in God. Imagine him finding out that the exact same thing that brought him relief and happiness tells him what he is feeling is wrong, sinful, disgusting.
Gay angst in 1454 is something very, very different to gay angst in 2018, and Kiersten White acknowledges that. I believe that - given the historic context and considering the circumstances Radu is living under - her portrayal of his being tortured by loving men is more than accurate; it is honest.
And yet - and this is the most important part! - she does not write a book without hope. On the contrary: there are countless signs that say Radu can be okay, can find happiness with another man and with himself foremost. Like this paragraph that resonated with me so deeply:
"'I cannot imagine a god who hates anything that is love, any way we find to take tender care of each other. I want you to find that same love, and I never want you to hate yourself for any love that is in you.'"
This brought me to my knees with tears in my eyes for one very simple reason: I feel so, so torn up about being bi. I realized I was attracted to girls also when I was thirteen, and it was a bone-jarring realization that didn't sit very well with me. I don't wish to be any different; I wouldn't change if I could.
But there's still a part of me that shrinks away in fear every single time someone mentions my sexuality, a part that makes my heart race and my throat go dry. There's still a part of me that keeps saying it's wrong for me to be the way that I am, that I should have been normal, that life could have been so much easier for me. It's the part of me that makes me too scared to talk about girls I crush on. It's the part of me that sometimes keeps me up at night, wondering why it had to be this way.
I'm fighting that part every day. I'm trying to be proud and, thankfully, a lot of the time I succeed. I love the LGBT community, despite all its flaws, so deeply. I am so thankful to be a part of it. But some days, I just need to read lines like the ones above, lines I never got to read when I was younger (because LGBT people in the media were virtually nonexistent) and would have very much needed. To the part of me that still needs to hear it: I never want you to hate yourself for any love that is in you. So thank you, Kiersten White, for speaking to a part of me that has been silenced for so long.
Man, that got way more emotional than I intended. Back to me raving about how much I love this book, huh?
WRITING STYLE: 5 / 5
If I wanted to compile a list of my favorite quotes from this book, it would be precisely 459 pages long.
Seriously, Kiersten White is a master at crafting prose that reads like poetry and feels like a suckerpunch. Her whole phrasing is a reminder that literature is art.
What I loved most were the many stylistic devices, because White employs those like a pro. Like that's not enough, she is also a Queen at this game us writers like to play called Show, Don't Tell. It's usually a rather tough sucker, but White has that beast eating out of her hand like a lap dog:
"The storm had disappeared as suddenly as it came, the clouds taking residence on the earth instead. The air was still and dead, the city shrouded as if for burial."
I mean, how aesthetically pleasing can you make fog sound? I am floored.
Another thing White does - and she does it well - is conveying the right emotions through pacing and description.
Spoiler
I mean, that scene where Radu and Cyprian spend the night in the forge to make more coins? Hot.OVERALL RATING: 4.5 / 5
I have so many thoughts and feelings regarding this book, it's a little hard to organize them all into a semi-coherent review. An alternative version of this would be me, screaming for six hours.
Charlotte out.
PRE-REVIEW NOTES
09 / 11 / 2018
I am 100 % done with this book and also life. Excuse me while I curl up and try to fathom whatever just happened for the next six years.
RTC whenever I stop crying I guess??