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d_stilgar 's review for:
Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic
by Esther Perel
I listened to the audiobook on Libby.
I found most of it to feel like well-trod ground in terms of its thinking about marriage and couples. It's also hard to find the through-line between the various couples stories at times. While the stories are interesting, there's not always a direct takeaway. You're sometimes left to read between the lines, which isn't bad.
The best chapters come at the end. I enjoyed idea of looking at all relationships as having a "third" and that you can define your own relationship with your partner by what it is excluded from those "thirds" that are external to your relationship. From there, you can think about unfulfilled needs from your relationship and then find ways to get those needs while maintaining the boundaries you've set with your partner.
One complaint I have about the audiobook is that the weird jungle drums between chapters were pretty jarring. They seemed to have nothing to do with the book at all and I'm not sure why they're used. I would have preferred a simple, "Chapter next: Chapter Title."
I found most of it to feel like well-trod ground in terms of its thinking about marriage and couples. It's also hard to find the through-line between the various couples stories at times. While the stories are interesting, there's not always a direct takeaway. You're sometimes left to read between the lines, which isn't bad.
The best chapters come at the end. I enjoyed idea of looking at all relationships as having a "third" and that you can define your own relationship with your partner by what it is excluded from those "thirds" that are external to your relationship. From there, you can think about unfulfilled needs from your relationship and then find ways to get those needs while maintaining the boundaries you've set with your partner.
One complaint I have about the audiobook is that the weird jungle drums between chapters were pretty jarring. They seemed to have nothing to do with the book at all and I'm not sure why they're used. I would have preferred a simple, "Chapter next: Chapter Title."