A review by selendrea
Mary: An Awakening of Terror by Nat Cassidy

dark emotional funny mysterious sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

He said the thing about cats you have to understand
Is they are predator and prey
They can hunt and pounce and kill
But they're small and light and probably
Delicious
So they take some things very very seriously

I was a little girl when he said this
But when I became a woman in this world
I understood what he meant.

What. A. Book. Mary: An Awakening of Terror was not the book I expected to be, and I'm okay with that. It turned out to be so much more. At its core, this is a novel about the horrors of womanhood, with a slew of genuine terror, humor, and emotional moments thrown in-between. I found the style of writing to be nearly impeccable - the prose flows wonderfully, the metaphors are vivid, and the gore is so deliciously described. Among many horror novels I've read recently, Cassidy's descriptions of body horror felt the most powerful.

The characters here are also standouts. Mary, the titular perimenopausal character is so incredibly unique. She will simultaneously elicit pity, disgust, anger, sadness, and laughter from you. She is easy to hate, but also easy to love, which caused an uncomfortable dissonance in me, but one that I didn't mind sitting with. She is often sweaty, sticky, and unhygienic, but underneath the grime and anger, she had something worth rooting for. I wanted so badly to know how her story ended. Her aunt, Nadine, can receive an honorable mention as well for her sheer wit that makes you love to loathe her.

While I loved the plot overall, this was not a perfect novel. At times, I felt that the book was just a tad too long, and certain parts could have been culled back to allow the pacing to flow a bit better. Additionally, I think Cassidy takes on a few too many directions at once: ghosts, reincarnation, metaphysics, cults, body horror, psychological horror, etc. This mish-mash becomes convoluted near the middle of the book. I think with a more narrow, tighter plot, many readers could focus a bit better.

Regardless, Mary's biggest triumph is in its layers, and the message it doesn't spoon-feed to its reader. So often, I took a breath, put down the book, and had to think about the complexities of my interpretations.
Here are a few of those interpretations:
1. Most obvious, Mary's body horror and her growing disdain for her physical form mirrors (no pun intended) how difficult it can be to feel comfortable in a body that changes and betrays. This is reflected in her struggle to look into mirrors, but also her reclamation of her own nudity at the end of the book. Even as a younger woman, these allegorical moments hit too close to home. I would argue that this theme is most reminiscent of this work's inspiration, Carrie.
2. To me, Damon's voice represents internalized misogyny. Even as women, we may pick up the tendency to belittle and degrade ourselves through societal messaging. That undervoice, Damon's, represents that very real voice that works against a woman's own confidence and self-interest.
3. Damon's victims being relegated to the shadows and forced to be ignored and forgotten reminded me of the idolatry of serial killers in our society. So often, it is the violent man who is pushed into the limelight, while his (often) female victims are rarely given the same consideration. This is also echoed in Eleanor's podcast, which I would argue is a commentary on the exploitative nature of true crime in general. There may also be an underpinning of commentary on worshipping false idols and religious zealotry here, as well.
4. Mary has an opportunity to be idolized herself, but only if she allows Damon to have more power. In other words, Mary's chance to gain social power in the hierarchy and "fit in" comes from her proximity to a man. Again, this reflects real-world cultural systems in which proximity to the hegemonic majority (men) is often the simplest way for women to have control. We can also see this theme in the women of the cult, who are willing to sacrifice victims of their own gender and take part in an unethical system, partially out of the desire for safety.


I had an excellent time dissecting this book overall. If you enjoy a twisting tale with a unique female protagonist, dark humor, and a healthy amount of gore, I think this one is worth giving a shot!
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