A review by kaydondino
Le Morte d'Arthur, Vols 1-2 by Thomas Malory

2.0

This book needed more cutting off of giants' genitals, because that part was actually interesting. Basically, Arthur is a "king" who has shit home security who fights the roughly 90,000 other kings and knights in England and sometimes Europe (everyone in Europe then was a king, knight or random noblewoman wandering the woods, apparently. Only very rarely will anyone encounter a peasant in the woods). Strange shit goes down always at Pentecost because of his home security problems. Animals, strange knights, ladies on horses and carrying random bits of armor, ghosts and other stuff wander in periodically to give these characters a reason for existing. It's all rather boring and didn't address the most interesting parts of the story: do the young noblewomen running the postal service have a union? Where are the lady giants? How are giants propagating their species without lady giants? What are the best ways to prepare a dish of tasty Christian children? How can nobody find this questing beast of its stomach makes the noise of 20 dogs?

I didn't finish this book, obviously. It still gets 2 stars for the part where Arthur cuts off a giant's genitals.