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nataliecastle 's review for:
We Were Never Here
by Andrea Bartz
LOVED this really drew me in from the start and i was truly feeling anxiety when reading the last bit i was just like oh man what's gonna happen
alright here are my notes throughout:
it was so funny to me when emily pulled up her text conversation with colin from five years ago i was like why would you still have that saved???
the crying act kristen does when emily asks how she's so normal and being like "it was okay when it was your attack but not mine" as if kristen didn't kill both men lmao I HATE HER and the same thing when she found out emily was investigating her shit and she texted "i've been sobbing all night i can't believe you" like i get you would want someone to feel bad for hurting you but who says that. i mean i guess since it turned out she didn't have anything to do with those deaths then like, she would be hurt by the idea but she's still HORRIBLE and controlling and manipulative
AND when she was like "i never thought anyone would dare attack me" which of course did not happen since she drugged the guy i mean obvs we'll never know the details but like still acting all superior like "oh yeah men would go after someone vulnerable like you but not ME" girl shut up
and truly her behavior is so scary, the code in the birthday card made me lose it, she's CONSTANTLY threatening emily and playing the concerned friend card, it's truly sickening. i know the thought that she killed her parents and her childhood friend made her look scarier than she actually was but she DID still kill those two men and obvs the first one was understandable to protect emily and just like. acting BUT the second one is just to keep emily close to her, AND she pushed emily in front of the card so it's like...
was there already something sinister before she killed sebastian or did it just turn into this person capable of these things. AND what was the deal with nana and bill, i would understand if it was just not getting along, but nana was concerned about kristen's behavior and WANTED to tell emily something, but what was it unless she somehow knew that kristen was a danger to emily. that's what i didn't get once it was revealed kristen had nothing to do with the fire or kristen's suicide. like, she was manipulative and controlling and preyed on emily's fear and insecurities BUT i just don't know what i think, like i don't know, maybe she hadn't been thinking of hurting emily or aaron that whole time and just pushed emily in that moment, so maybe like...there could've been a way that they just went their separate ways, but it really doesn't seem like it
but oh my god the reveal about kristen's dad when it all came together i was like oh shit this author really had me going, i wonder if she knew about what he did to jamie, and like emily, i wonder if he did it to kristen too. i hadn't thought anything when she said she hadn't liked being alone with her dad, because i was like, it just sounds like he was a dick, i wasn't thinking of the horror show of him being a predator
and i am a little like, i guess if jamie's mom says she heard kristen go after jamie when the fire happened then it really was jamie who set the fire BUT since we know she made it look like jamie did things she didn't do then...i mean could it have been both of them and they just didn't know kristen's mom was home, she still could've turned on jamie and scribbled her face and whatnot out of anger over her mom's death, like i just think based on what we know she could've convinced jamie and that's why jamie wrote in her diary that he had to die, and then they did it together, thinking they were just getting rid of their abuser only to find out later it was the mom too idk i struggled totally following everything that happened there since we only got bits and pieces from jamie's mom who just didn't have all the information (when i first found out she died right after the parents i was talking to my mom and she thought maybe jamie knew the truth about kristen killing her dad and kristen killed her to keep her quiet and seeing people speculate that maybe kristen really wrote the diary entry...interesting)
and like with nana expressing concern for emily being with kristen, jamie's parents aren't surprised when they tell her kristen pushed her in front of a car??? again, if she was just like this controlling asshole as a kid that wouldn't mean these people think she's a DANGER so like. what else is there i wanna knowwwwww everything she did
and i'm also like, should i be convinced for sure that emily DIDN'T kill sebastian because she went back and forth on the memory so many times (oh man, when kristen first said "i watched you kill him" i was like is this gaslighting or is this really what happened the whole time and really i still don't know!) and she finally was like "i know i didn't do it" but i mean how is she certain when she could see the memory in her head both ways lmao
but wow that aaron is MUCH cooler than i expected, because like, even if it was understandable that emily felt trapped in both these situations, it would still be a lot to know all that about a person and he just took it in stride and oh my god when he came up that mountain for her i was like he just wanted to come through and get her out of that situation!!! and i thought maybe he would die and kristen would live but when she described kristen's legs sticking out i was like...more likely it's both of them. and then he survived and emily got to live a normal life! which was my dream for her but i didn't expect it at all, i at least didn't think she'd get it with aaron bc i didn't think she could be honest with him, but she really was at the end like nope he's gotta know everything which was great. i also like how she said she put a pause on their relationship so she could just like deal and not jump from one dependent relationship to another BUT she said something near the end about them sharing a brain which was how she described kristen and i was a little like "oh no be careful"
and same with that ending line WHICH i of course was not far in and since it was an ebook wanted to see where exactly it ended and saw just "i'm joan, we love meeting new people" and i was like oh god she's not gonna escape from this horrible toxic friendship, she's gonna be stuck with this girl forever because of these two horrible things that bind them together and it was nice that she did in fact get to be free of it, but the fact that she used the same fake name she used with kristen was like...obvs i don't think aaron is like kristen, but it did a little bit feel like him being a replacement in that moment, even though it is understandable for them to be using fake names now because if people hear "emily and aaron" they might recognize them from the news now but yeah it's like, i'm very happy emily got out of that shitty relationship and has a seemingly good one but MAN i hope she does a lot of healing. good thing she's in therapy
alright here are my notes throughout:
it was so funny to me when emily pulled up her text conversation with colin from five years ago i was like why would you still have that saved???
the crying act kristen does when emily asks how she's so normal and being like "it was okay when it was your attack but not mine" as if kristen didn't kill both men lmao I HATE HER and the same thing when she found out emily was investigating her shit and she texted "i've been sobbing all night i can't believe you" like i get you would want someone to feel bad for hurting you but who says that. i mean i guess since it turned out she didn't have anything to do with those deaths then like, she would be hurt by the idea but she's still HORRIBLE and controlling and manipulative
AND when she was like "i never thought anyone would dare attack me" which of course did not happen since she drugged the guy i mean obvs we'll never know the details but like still acting all superior like "oh yeah men would go after someone vulnerable like you but not ME" girl shut up
and truly her behavior is so scary, the code in the birthday card made me lose it, she's CONSTANTLY threatening emily and playing the concerned friend card, it's truly sickening. i know the thought that she killed her parents and her childhood friend made her look scarier than she actually was but she DID still kill those two men and obvs the first one was understandable to protect emily and just like. acting BUT the second one is just to keep emily close to her, AND she pushed emily in front of the card so it's like...
was there already something sinister before she killed sebastian or did it just turn into this person capable of these things. AND what was the deal with nana and bill, i would understand if it was just not getting along, but nana was concerned about kristen's behavior and WANTED to tell emily something, but what was it unless she somehow knew that kristen was a danger to emily. that's what i didn't get once it was revealed kristen had nothing to do with the fire or kristen's suicide. like, she was manipulative and controlling and preyed on emily's fear and insecurities BUT i just don't know what i think, like i don't know, maybe she hadn't been thinking of hurting emily or aaron that whole time and just pushed emily in that moment, so maybe like...there could've been a way that they just went their separate ways, but it really doesn't seem like it
but oh my god the reveal about kristen's dad when it all came together i was like oh shit this author really had me going, i wonder if she knew about what he did to jamie, and like emily, i wonder if he did it to kristen too. i hadn't thought anything when she said she hadn't liked being alone with her dad, because i was like, it just sounds like he was a dick, i wasn't thinking of the horror show of him being a predator
and i am a little like, i guess if jamie's mom says she heard kristen go after jamie when the fire happened then it really was jamie who set the fire BUT since we know she made it look like jamie did things she didn't do then...i mean could it have been both of them and they just didn't know kristen's mom was home, she still could've turned on jamie and scribbled her face and whatnot out of anger over her mom's death, like i just think based on what we know she could've convinced jamie and that's why jamie wrote in her diary that he had to die, and then they did it together, thinking they were just getting rid of their abuser only to find out later it was the mom too idk i struggled totally following everything that happened there since we only got bits and pieces from jamie's mom who just didn't have all the information (when i first found out she died right after the parents i was talking to my mom and she thought maybe jamie knew the truth about kristen killing her dad and kristen killed her to keep her quiet and seeing people speculate that maybe kristen really wrote the diary entry...interesting)
and like with nana expressing concern for emily being with kristen, jamie's parents aren't surprised when they tell her kristen pushed her in front of a car??? again, if she was just like this controlling asshole as a kid that wouldn't mean these people think she's a DANGER so like. what else is there i wanna knowwwwww everything she did
and i'm also like, should i be convinced for sure that emily DIDN'T kill sebastian because she went back and forth on the memory so many times (oh man, when kristen first said "i watched you kill him" i was like is this gaslighting or is this really what happened the whole time and really i still don't know!) and she finally was like "i know i didn't do it" but i mean how is she certain when she could see the memory in her head both ways lmao
but wow that aaron is MUCH cooler than i expected, because like, even if it was understandable that emily felt trapped in both these situations, it would still be a lot to know all that about a person and he just took it in stride and oh my god when he came up that mountain for her i was like he just wanted to come through and get her out of that situation!!! and i thought maybe he would die and kristen would live but when she described kristen's legs sticking out i was like...more likely it's both of them. and then he survived and emily got to live a normal life! which was my dream for her but i didn't expect it at all, i at least didn't think she'd get it with aaron bc i didn't think she could be honest with him, but she really was at the end like nope he's gotta know everything which was great. i also like how she said she put a pause on their relationship so she could just like deal and not jump from one dependent relationship to another BUT she said something near the end about them sharing a brain which was how she described kristen and i was a little like "oh no be careful"
and same with that ending line WHICH i of course was not far in and since it was an ebook wanted to see where exactly it ended and saw just "i'm joan, we love meeting new people" and i was like oh god she's not gonna escape from this horrible toxic friendship, she's gonna be stuck with this girl forever because of these two horrible things that bind them together and it was nice that she did in fact get to be free of it, but the fact that she used the same fake name she used with kristen was like...obvs i don't think aaron is like kristen, but it did a little bit feel like him being a replacement in that moment, even though it is understandable for them to be using fake names now because if people hear "emily and aaron" they might recognize them from the news now but yeah it's like, i'm very happy emily got out of that shitty relationship and has a seemingly good one but MAN i hope she does a lot of healing. good thing she's in therapy