A review by koreanlinda
What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo

challenging emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

4.5

This book was a hard read for me as a survivor of child abuse. I was beaten repeatedly by my mother and teachers when I grew up in South Korea. Although Stephanie Foo is a Malaysian Chinese-American, I was able to see lots of overlapping ideas around domestic violence between her family culture and mine. 

Part 1 (out of five parts) was the hardest to read because it describes all kinds of violence that Stephanie experienced when she was young. However, it gets easier from there, and Part 5, as Stephanie promised at the beginning of the book, has a happy ending. 

Although I felt immense sorrow, I did not cry throughout the book until the pages of Stephanie's life started getting filled with love. The power of happy tears was stronger than other kinds. As I closed the book, I felt hopeful about my own life. I thought, if she can live, I can live, too. Like Stephanie said in Chapter 41, "Maybe this life I've got is going to be spectacular, after all."

I went into the book with lots of fear; however, I am very glad I read it. I felt seen in Stephanie's story, and I learned a lot about C-PTSD. Although the abuse I experienced was not as severe as Stephanie's, I had symptoms that she experienced from C-PTSD. Stressful situations and mistakes pushed me into self-chastism and depression. While I was constantly scared of being punished, I continued to punish myself internally. 

I recommend this book to everyone who has experienced traumatic events or any abuse including a lack of love from a childhood caregiver. You will learn a lot. Not only you will gain knowledge, but you will also get empowered through Stephanie's narrative: Our PTSD is a precious part of ourselves, and it can manifest as our superpower. 

Review by Linda (Any Pronouns) in June 2024
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