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A review by sjherrboldt
Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle
4.0
pg. 142 "The only way to survive is to make no sudden movements, to get comfortable with discomfort, and to find peace without answers. .... There is only one strategy I can count on during this time, and it's the same one that helped me get sober: Just Do the Next Right Thing, One Thing at a Time."
pg. 201 "Along the way, we've internalized the lies: You are supposed to be happy all the time Everybody else is! Avoid the pain! You don't need it, it's not meant for you. ... Finally I was being quiet and still enough to hear the truth: You are not supposed to be happy all the time. Life hurts and it's hard. Not because you're doing it wrong, but because it hurts for everybody. Don't avoid the pain. You need it. It's meant for you. Be still with it, let it come, let it go."
pg. 203 "We think our job as humans is to avoid pain, our job as parents is to protect our children from pain, and our job as friends is to fix each other's pain. And maybe that's why we all feel like failures so often - because we're all trying to do the wrong jobs. ... people who are hurting don't need Avoiders, Protectors, or Fixers. What we need are patient, loving witnesses. People to sit quietly and hold space for us. People to stand in helpless vigil to our pain.
Grief is love's souvenir. It's our proof that we once loved. .... The journey of the warrior. This is it. The journey is learning that pain, like love, is simply something to surrender to. It's a holy space we can enter with people only is we promise not to tidy up. So I will sit with my pain by letting my own heart break. I will love others in pain by volunteering to let my heart break with theirs. I'll be helpless and broken and still - surrendered to my powerlessness. Mutual surrender, maybe that's an act of love. Surrendering to this thing that's bigger than we are: this love, this pain. The courage to surrender comes from knowing that the love and pain will almost kill us, but not quite."
pg. 220 "The original Hebrew word for woman is Ezer. The best translation of Ezer is: Warrior. I think abou tthe tragedies the women in my life have faced. How every time a child gets sick or a man leaves or a parent dies or a community crumbles, the women are the ones who carry on, who do what must be done for their people in the midst of their own pain. While those around them fall away, the women hold the sick and nurse the weak, put food on the table, carry their people's sadness and anger and love and hope. They keep showing up for their lives and their people with the odds stacked against them and the weight of the world on their shoulders. They never stop singing songs of truth, love, and redemption in the face of hopelessness. They are inexhaustible, ferocious, relentless cocreators with God, and they make beautiful worlds out of nothing."
pg. 221 "Recovery is an unbecoming. My healing has been a peeling away of costume after costume until here I am, still and naked before God, stripped down to my real identity. I have unbecome. ... Sent to fight for everything worth having: truth, beauty, kindness, shamelessness, love. To march into pain and love with eyes and heart wide open, to stand in the wreckage and believe that my power, my love, my light, are stronger than the darkness. I know my name now. Love Warrior. I came from love and I am love and I will return to love. Love casts out fear."
pg. 223 "I tell them that despite my fear, I'm proud of who I am. Because I finally understand that I'm not a mess but a deeply feeling person in a messy world. We can choose to be perfect and admired or real and loved. We must decide. If we choose to be perfect and admired, we have to send our representatives out to live our lives. That's safe, but lonely. I tell them that I've chosen to be real and loved, even though it's risky. It's risky because to be loved, I have to be known, and to be known I have to send my real self out to people. She gets hurts, but that kind of hurt is better than the kind of hurt that comes from never being known. That's the only kind of hurt that's unbearable: not being known."
pg. 201 "Along the way, we've internalized the lies: You are supposed to be happy all the time Everybody else is! Avoid the pain! You don't need it, it's not meant for you. ... Finally I was being quiet and still enough to hear the truth: You are not supposed to be happy all the time. Life hurts and it's hard. Not because you're doing it wrong, but because it hurts for everybody. Don't avoid the pain. You need it. It's meant for you. Be still with it, let it come, let it go."
pg. 203 "We think our job as humans is to avoid pain, our job as parents is to protect our children from pain, and our job as friends is to fix each other's pain. And maybe that's why we all feel like failures so often - because we're all trying to do the wrong jobs. ... people who are hurting don't need Avoiders, Protectors, or Fixers. What we need are patient, loving witnesses. People to sit quietly and hold space for us. People to stand in helpless vigil to our pain.
Grief is love's souvenir. It's our proof that we once loved. .... The journey of the warrior. This is it. The journey is learning that pain, like love, is simply something to surrender to. It's a holy space we can enter with people only is we promise not to tidy up. So I will sit with my pain by letting my own heart break. I will love others in pain by volunteering to let my heart break with theirs. I'll be helpless and broken and still - surrendered to my powerlessness. Mutual surrender, maybe that's an act of love. Surrendering to this thing that's bigger than we are: this love, this pain. The courage to surrender comes from knowing that the love and pain will almost kill us, but not quite."
pg. 220 "The original Hebrew word for woman is Ezer. The best translation of Ezer is: Warrior. I think abou tthe tragedies the women in my life have faced. How every time a child gets sick or a man leaves or a parent dies or a community crumbles, the women are the ones who carry on, who do what must be done for their people in the midst of their own pain. While those around them fall away, the women hold the sick and nurse the weak, put food on the table, carry their people's sadness and anger and love and hope. They keep showing up for their lives and their people with the odds stacked against them and the weight of the world on their shoulders. They never stop singing songs of truth, love, and redemption in the face of hopelessness. They are inexhaustible, ferocious, relentless cocreators with God, and they make beautiful worlds out of nothing."
pg. 221 "Recovery is an unbecoming. My healing has been a peeling away of costume after costume until here I am, still and naked before God, stripped down to my real identity. I have unbecome. ... Sent to fight for everything worth having: truth, beauty, kindness, shamelessness, love. To march into pain and love with eyes and heart wide open, to stand in the wreckage and believe that my power, my love, my light, are stronger than the darkness. I know my name now. Love Warrior. I came from love and I am love and I will return to love. Love casts out fear."
pg. 223 "I tell them that despite my fear, I'm proud of who I am. Because I finally understand that I'm not a mess but a deeply feeling person in a messy world. We can choose to be perfect and admired or real and loved. We must decide. If we choose to be perfect and admired, we have to send our representatives out to live our lives. That's safe, but lonely. I tell them that I've chosen to be real and loved, even though it's risky. It's risky because to be loved, I have to be known, and to be known I have to send my real self out to people. She gets hurts, but that kind of hurt is better than the kind of hurt that comes from never being known. That's the only kind of hurt that's unbearable: not being known."