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ashsaxreadsstacks 's review for:
The Dry Season: A Memoir of Pleasure in a Year Without Sex
by Melissa Febos
๐ท๐๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐ท๐๐๐: ๐ธ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
Sex is โจexcitingโจ I assumed celibacy would beโฆmuch less exciting.
Turns out not picking up ๐๐๐ ๐ฟ๐ง๐ฎ ๐๐๐๐จ๐ค๐ฃ ๐ฃ๐บ @melissafebos โfor any reasonโis doing yourself a gross disservice.
I went in expecting the kinda memoir thatโs specifically the authorโs. Relatable if you stretch a bit, adapt their story to your situation. Fortune cookie & horoscope-esque. ๐๐๐ ๐ฟ๐ง๐ฎ ๐๐๐๐จ๐ค๐ฃ is a MF manifesto. W/e youโve read of Febosโ, imagine that on steroids (or off? depending on what kinda roids they are ig ๐ ๐). By the end I was convinced enough to consider celibacy myself.
In removing the โend goalโ so to speak, you gain clarity inaccessible any other way (or so Iโm told lol). The observations made regarding womenโs presentation & their consequential treatment? Staggering. The separation of ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ค๐ต from its other parts (after care, emotional cleanup, self perception, etc)? Something Iโd argue only Melissa could articulate in this way. A v unique spot, some of which I can personally attest to, being a queer femme is so frustrating in terms of visibility. A toss up whether your queerness will be recognizedโ& even when it is, that doesnโt shield from the male gaze.
Really looking at her relationship w her body & sex left me no choice but to do the same. ๐ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฃ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฅ. Itโs SO sad how much time, money, emotional bandwidth & mental energy Iโve (weโve) spent in hopes of ultimatelyโlike it or notโbeing desirable. & for what? The vast majority of those whose attention I was hoping to catch I couldnโt pick out of a line-up today. Thereโs not a single relationship that was made better by the dynamic, if anything I set myself up for disappointment & mistreatment.
๐๐๐ ๐ฟ๐ง๐ฎ ๐๐๐๐จ๐ค๐ฃ ๐ช๐ด ๐ข ๐ท๐ช๐ต๐ข๐ญ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ข๐ฏ๐บ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ณ๐ฆ-๐ฆ๐น๐ข๐ฎ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ช๐ณ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด๐ฉ๐ช๐ฑ ๐ธ ๐ด๐ฆ๐น, ๐ด๐ฐ๐ค๐ช๐ฆ๐ต๐บโ๐ด ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด๐ฉ๐ช๐ฑ ๐ธ ๐ด๐ฆ๐น, ๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ธ ๐ข ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆโฆ ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฃ๐ช๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฑ๐ข๐ด๐ต ๐ฅด
๐ ๐ข๐ช๐จ๐ฉ ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐๐ง๐ฒ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ & ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ .
Thank you bunches to A.A.Knopf, Melissa Febos & NetGalley for the DRC, physical ARC and beautiful finished copy w goodies. You spoiled the crap out of me w this one and I'm so friggin thankful. This memoir is everything.
Sex is โจexcitingโจ I assumed celibacy would beโฆmuch less exciting.
Turns out not picking up ๐๐๐ ๐ฟ๐ง๐ฎ ๐๐๐๐จ๐ค๐ฃ ๐ฃ๐บ @melissafebos โfor any reasonโis doing yourself a gross disservice.
I went in expecting the kinda memoir thatโs specifically the authorโs. Relatable if you stretch a bit, adapt their story to your situation. Fortune cookie & horoscope-esque. ๐๐๐ ๐ฟ๐ง๐ฎ ๐๐๐๐จ๐ค๐ฃ is a MF manifesto. W/e youโve read of Febosโ, imagine that on steroids (or off? depending on what kinda roids they are ig ๐ ๐). By the end I was convinced enough to consider celibacy myself.
In removing the โend goalโ so to speak, you gain clarity inaccessible any other way (or so Iโm told lol). The observations made regarding womenโs presentation & their consequential treatment? Staggering. The separation of ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ค๐ต from its other parts (after care, emotional cleanup, self perception, etc)? Something Iโd argue only Melissa could articulate in this way. A v unique spot, some of which I can personally attest to, being a queer femme is so frustrating in terms of visibility. A toss up whether your queerness will be recognizedโ& even when it is, that doesnโt shield from the male gaze.
Really looking at her relationship w her body & sex left me no choice but to do the same. ๐ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฃ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฅ. Itโs SO sad how much time, money, emotional bandwidth & mental energy Iโve (weโve) spent in hopes of ultimatelyโlike it or notโbeing desirable. & for what? The vast majority of those whose attention I was hoping to catch I couldnโt pick out of a line-up today. Thereโs not a single relationship that was made better by the dynamic, if anything I set myself up for disappointment & mistreatment.
๐๐๐ ๐ฟ๐ง๐ฎ ๐๐๐๐จ๐ค๐ฃ ๐ช๐ด ๐ข ๐ท๐ช๐ต๐ข๐ญ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ข๐ฏ๐บ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ณ๐ฆ-๐ฆ๐น๐ข๐ฎ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ช๐ณ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด๐ฉ๐ช๐ฑ ๐ธ ๐ด๐ฆ๐น, ๐ด๐ฐ๐ค๐ช๐ฆ๐ต๐บโ๐ด ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด๐ฉ๐ช๐ฑ ๐ธ ๐ด๐ฆ๐น, ๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ธ ๐ข ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆโฆ ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฃ๐ช๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฑ๐ข๐ด๐ต ๐ฅด
๐ ๐ข๐ช๐จ๐ฉ ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐๐ง๐ฒ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ & ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ .
Thank you bunches to A.A.Knopf, Melissa Febos & NetGalley for the DRC, physical ARC and beautiful finished copy w goodies. You spoiled the crap out of me w this one and I'm so friggin thankful. This memoir is everything.