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A review by v_larr
Husband Material by Alexis Hall
5.0
review to come when i am in arms reach of my laptop (1:45am)
Hello I am now in arms reach of my laptop. (9:41am)
Ok I procrastinated for a moment but I'm back (11:16am)
God I hate spending so much time between finishing a book and writing the review, but also like, I like sleep! I close a book and I end up passing out usually. But at the same time, there's this kind of Book High I get where I could talk about a book for hours so eloquently (and I definitely did not do this while sitting up on my bed in a whisper/talk voice at 2am). And so everything I wanted to say about this book, I've either mumbled incoherently alone in my room and/or messaged incoherently into the poor university book club group chat.
WARNING: I'm not tagging spoilers but there will be shameless spoilers here because I have too much to say about this book.
Okay, where do I even start?
I've seen many reviews saying that this book didn't really need to happen and that Boyfriend Material was better off a standalone. I disagree! This book was awesome! And in this book's case since it's a romcom sequel, based on personal experience, it was subject to mainly two choices:
1) Try to make a new story with the romcom tropes that weren't used in the first book (think love triangle, having to move away, blah blah cringe boring)
2) Actually try to make a captivating story/sequel showing the characters' growth (yes YES yayy)
And they went with option two because OF COURSE THEY DID.
I mean, I love a good getting-together story as much as the next romantic, but there's something so special about established relationships, routine, casual affection, comfort in awkward communication, etc etc. And we got so much of that in this book and I love it.
And of course, once you're in an established relationship for such a long time, there are some questions that begin to pop up. Will you move in together? Will you get married? Have a kid? Have more kids?
And there's this typical pipeline when it comes to romantic relationships and it goes like this:
->Meet
->Start dating
->Get engaged
->Get married
->Have a child
And yaknow sometimes some of these will switch around but there's this end goal of marriage and children almost every time. Which is boring and dumb and while marriage comes with nice benefits (at least for cishet abled couples) it's more of this societal expectation. And it doesn't work for everyone! And it definitely doesn't work for Luc and Oliver.
And thus comes the plot of this book. And honestly I think it's good substance. Yaknow, you're reaching 30, everyone around you is getting married or having kids, and it's typical feeling-like-you're-falling-behind syndrome. It's like a third-life crisis. So I thought there was a story there. And the three weddings and a funeral structure was pretty great too.
Okay but here's the big thing I want to talk about. Throughout the book there is an ongoing discussion/argument between Luc and Oliver about queerness and self-expression. It eventually turns into a fight but when I was reading I worried it would be a one-off thing but thank goodness they went in the direction they did.
I mean essentially this dichotomy between them is the driving force of the first book. Luc is very...outwards? Wears his heart on his sleeve, is loud and comfortable enough to joke and generally talk about the fact that he's a mess. Meanwhile Oliver is very inwards like he internalizes the fact that he's a mess so from the outside he seems "respectable," liking routine and being well kept and all that. I call it the Peralta-Santiago dynamic. They balance each other out!
Furthermore where Luc is loud, Oliver is quiet. It's a matter of personal preference. And it shows in their own opinions regarding things like wedding ceremonies. Luc feels more in his element at Miles' wedding (which I'm still pissed about even though it ended awesomely); loud music, men happily in amazing outfits and makeup, officiated by a drag king, loud music and a like...what was it, underground kind of venue? I think? But Oliver doesn't fit in in that environment. And the opposite is true. Alex's wedding is a heteronormative religious misogynistic nightmare, but the church venue and more traditional ceremony appeals to Oliver meanwhile Luc argues that it's a heteronormative religious misogynistic nightmare.
And thus starts the argument. In Luc's mind it's like, why would you want this kind of ceremony when it's everything that's against our history? Meanwhile Oliver's saying the party scene isn't his thing. But to Luc, that scene represents pride, it represents his identity. And being the dumbass that he is, he wonders if Oliver's taste is some sort of internalized homophobia. On the one hand, I understand where he's coming from. On the other hand. BOY ARE YOU DUMB. Eventually they do establish that one person's brand of queer is different from another person's brand of queer, and that doesn't make them any less. Which is the perfect conclusion to this argument (I'm looking at you, Sex Education season three). But I think there's an interesting discussion to be had about this. If you tie this aspect of Pride to your queer identity, and then also have an SO who is part of your identity, and they don't exactly fit together, what does that mean for you? Is there some sort of rift in your identity then? Like is this a genuine problem to have? Like we should talk about this I think it's up for discussion to be honest but seeing as I'm not even old enough to enter gay clubs I don't have much personal experience. But I'm remembering that scene from One Day at a Time where Elena's cousin talks about how yeah it's fun at first all the rainbow merch and like woohee gay everywhere but then it's like at the end of the day it's just you're a person like anyone else. And that's it really. Which is fantastic.
Anyways I had a great transition in my first dictated draft but I changed it up so no cool transition.
When I read the summary of this book and saw that it mentioned a funeral, I said "I hope it's the dad." I MEANT LUC'S DAD. BECAUSE IT WOULD'VE BEEN THIS HILARIOUS SYMMETRY. BECAUSE HE THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO DIE IN THE FIRST BOOK RIGHT. But anyways.
I knew, of course I knew, that when Oliver finally confronted his parents with an absolutely glorious "Go fuck yourself" that was highly unexpected yet somehow obviously foreshadowed, that it would be the last time he saw his dad. And I was worried they were going to do some bullshit about guilt and "he was family after all" but NO THEY DIDN'T DO THAT BECAUSE THIS BOOK IS AWESOME.
They got him therapy! And he's been working on himself! That's like half of what I wanted from the first book and it led to that amazing funeral scene as well. Because honestly, everything Oliver said, aside from the few obscenities, was right. I mean, there's also this expectation around funerals in which you just have to say nice things about the deceased and that's it. But is that really honoring their memory? Especially if they weren't great to you? Oliver's right, people are complicated. And his father, despite his not-the-greatest stubborness, is part of the reason why Oliver was finally able to stand up for himself. And that's the heartwrenching part. Oliver doesn't regret saying something mean, he regrets that the conversation it could've sparked never happened. Which, yeah. Death waits for no one and your last words are unlikely to have finality. And the fact that the story of Oliver and David is open ended, that's the real sad part. But, I just noticed, it ends on a high note with Christopher. Maybe Oliver will never have closure with his parents, but it's worth a try with his brother. GOD that was so good.
Anyways back to the whole wedding plot. I never supported Luc and Oliver getting married. Nope nope noppity nope. I mean, think about the context behind the initial proposal:
1) Luc is feeling the feeling-like-you're-falling-behind syndrome because his best friend got married and his crap person ex got married. Like imagine your shitty ex getting married before you. That sucks! And may result in petty choices.
2) The conversation initially begins with Oliver suggesting Luc move in, since he's there all the time already. But why is Luc always there to begin with? Partially bc boyfriend whom he loves, but let's be honest, mainly because he doesn't really know how to maintain his own place and at least Oliver likes to clean. That's not...a great foundation for deciding to live together...
3) Luc, instead of taking the time to consider this, think about what I just said above, whether the bills would work out or if the location is good or how the chores would be divided, is just impulsively like "let's get married instead."
NOPE! No way. Thank god they both mutually backed out of that, albeit pretty last minute. Like the emotional maturity is just not there. Along with all the other things they both stated by the end of the book. And I mean, at the end of the day, they did about the queerest thing you could do. Subverting society's expectations of relationships and doing your own damn thing and being well proud of it.
Okay essay over now time for some quicker points.
The fact that they continued the James Royce-Royce gag by them having a baby they named James (Baby J for clarity) was hilarious. Baby J could fall in love with someone named James Royce-Royce, get married, hyphenate their last names so it's James Royce-Royce-Royce-Royce, and I'd still be cackling.
I liked Luc's small moments of maturity but the fact that he has to actively try and be a decent person (as in "makes vegan french toast for grieving boyfriend to get a good grade in boyfriend") is kind of telling? And he does still have this victim complex which in the first book was a funny "haha self-deprecating humor I get it" thing but is now a "dude grow the hell up you have the resources to improve and you'd rather wallow in your own self-hatred which inconveniences the people around you and not in a quirky way" thing. Seriously dude. Do better.
Good discussion they had about Rhys' girlfriend Ana with an N and what sex-work is about.
The writing voice is still so unique and brilliant and, while annoying at times, is very terribly relatable, could've been plucked out of my high school group chat to be honest.
God I'm exhausted. Goodbye.
Hello I am now in arms reach of my laptop. (9:41am)
Ok I procrastinated for a moment but I'm back (11:16am)
God I hate spending so much time between finishing a book and writing the review, but also like, I like sleep! I close a book and I end up passing out usually. But at the same time, there's this kind of Book High I get where I could talk about a book for hours so eloquently (and I definitely did not do this while sitting up on my bed in a whisper/talk voice at 2am). And so everything I wanted to say about this book, I've either mumbled incoherently alone in my room and/or messaged incoherently into the poor university book club group chat.
WARNING: I'm not tagging spoilers but there will be shameless spoilers here because I have too much to say about this book.
Okay, where do I even start?
I've seen many reviews saying that this book didn't really need to happen and that Boyfriend Material was better off a standalone. I disagree! This book was awesome! And in this book's case since it's a romcom sequel, based on personal experience, it was subject to mainly two choices:
1) Try to make a new story with the romcom tropes that weren't used in the first book (think love triangle, having to move away, blah blah cringe boring)
2) Actually try to make a captivating story/sequel showing the characters' growth (yes YES yayy)
And they went with option two because OF COURSE THEY DID.
I mean, I love a good getting-together story as much as the next romantic, but there's something so special about established relationships, routine, casual affection, comfort in awkward communication, etc etc. And we got so much of that in this book and I love it.
And of course, once you're in an established relationship for such a long time, there are some questions that begin to pop up. Will you move in together? Will you get married? Have a kid? Have more kids?
And there's this typical pipeline when it comes to romantic relationships and it goes like this:
->Meet
->Start dating
->Get engaged
->Get married
->Have a child
And yaknow sometimes some of these will switch around but there's this end goal of marriage and children almost every time. Which is boring and dumb and while marriage comes with nice benefits (at least for cishet abled couples) it's more of this societal expectation. And it doesn't work for everyone! And it definitely doesn't work for Luc and Oliver.
And thus comes the plot of this book. And honestly I think it's good substance. Yaknow, you're reaching 30, everyone around you is getting married or having kids, and it's typical feeling-like-you're-falling-behind syndrome. It's like a third-life crisis. So I thought there was a story there. And the three weddings and a funeral structure was pretty great too.
Okay but here's the big thing I want to talk about. Throughout the book there is an ongoing discussion/argument between Luc and Oliver about queerness and self-expression. It eventually turns into a fight but when I was reading I worried it would be a one-off thing but thank goodness they went in the direction they did.
I mean essentially this dichotomy between them is the driving force of the first book. Luc is very...outwards? Wears his heart on his sleeve, is loud and comfortable enough to joke and generally talk about the fact that he's a mess. Meanwhile Oliver is very inwards like he internalizes the fact that he's a mess so from the outside he seems "respectable," liking routine and being well kept and all that. I call it the Peralta-Santiago dynamic. They balance each other out!
Furthermore where Luc is loud, Oliver is quiet. It's a matter of personal preference. And it shows in their own opinions regarding things like wedding ceremonies. Luc feels more in his element at Miles' wedding (which I'm still pissed about even though it ended awesomely); loud music, men happily in amazing outfits and makeup, officiated by a drag king, loud music and a like...what was it, underground kind of venue? I think? But Oliver doesn't fit in in that environment. And the opposite is true. Alex's wedding is a heteronormative religious misogynistic nightmare, but the church venue and more traditional ceremony appeals to Oliver meanwhile Luc argues that it's a heteronormative religious misogynistic nightmare.
And thus starts the argument. In Luc's mind it's like, why would you want this kind of ceremony when it's everything that's against our history? Meanwhile Oliver's saying the party scene isn't his thing. But to Luc, that scene represents pride, it represents his identity. And being the dumbass that he is, he wonders if Oliver's taste is some sort of internalized homophobia. On the one hand, I understand where he's coming from. On the other hand. BOY ARE YOU DUMB. Eventually they do establish that one person's brand of queer is different from another person's brand of queer, and that doesn't make them any less. Which is the perfect conclusion to this argument (I'm looking at you, Sex Education season three). But I think there's an interesting discussion to be had about this. If you tie this aspect of Pride to your queer identity, and then also have an SO who is part of your identity, and they don't exactly fit together, what does that mean for you? Is there some sort of rift in your identity then? Like is this a genuine problem to have? Like we should talk about this I think it's up for discussion to be honest but seeing as I'm not even old enough to enter gay clubs I don't have much personal experience. But I'm remembering that scene from One Day at a Time where Elena's cousin talks about how yeah it's fun at first all the rainbow merch and like woohee gay everywhere but then it's like at the end of the day it's just you're a person like anyone else. And that's it really. Which is fantastic.
Anyways I had a great transition in my first dictated draft but I changed it up so no cool transition.
When I read the summary of this book and saw that it mentioned a funeral, I said "I hope it's the dad." I MEANT LUC'S DAD. BECAUSE IT WOULD'VE BEEN THIS HILARIOUS SYMMETRY. BECAUSE HE THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO DIE IN THE FIRST BOOK RIGHT. But anyways.
I knew, of course I knew, that when Oliver finally confronted his parents with an absolutely glorious "Go fuck yourself" that was highly unexpected yet somehow obviously foreshadowed, that it would be the last time he saw his dad. And I was worried they were going to do some bullshit about guilt and "he was family after all" but NO THEY DIDN'T DO THAT BECAUSE THIS BOOK IS AWESOME.
They got him therapy! And he's been working on himself! That's like half of what I wanted from the first book and it led to that amazing funeral scene as well. Because honestly, everything Oliver said, aside from the few obscenities, was right. I mean, there's also this expectation around funerals in which you just have to say nice things about the deceased and that's it. But is that really honoring their memory? Especially if they weren't great to you? Oliver's right, people are complicated. And his father, despite his not-the-greatest stubborness, is part of the reason why Oliver was finally able to stand up for himself. And that's the heartwrenching part. Oliver doesn't regret saying something mean, he regrets that the conversation it could've sparked never happened. Which, yeah. Death waits for no one and your last words are unlikely to have finality. And the fact that the story of Oliver and David is open ended, that's the real sad part. But, I just noticed, it ends on a high note with Christopher. Maybe Oliver will never have closure with his parents, but it's worth a try with his brother. GOD that was so good.
Anyways back to the whole wedding plot. I never supported Luc and Oliver getting married. Nope nope noppity nope. I mean, think about the context behind the initial proposal:
1) Luc is feeling the feeling-like-you're-falling-behind syndrome because his best friend got married and his crap person ex got married. Like imagine your shitty ex getting married before you. That sucks! And may result in petty choices.
2) The conversation initially begins with Oliver suggesting Luc move in, since he's there all the time already. But why is Luc always there to begin with? Partially bc boyfriend whom he loves, but let's be honest, mainly because he doesn't really know how to maintain his own place and at least Oliver likes to clean. That's not...a great foundation for deciding to live together...
3) Luc, instead of taking the time to consider this, think about what I just said above, whether the bills would work out or if the location is good or how the chores would be divided, is just impulsively like "let's get married instead."
NOPE! No way. Thank god they both mutually backed out of that, albeit pretty last minute. Like the emotional maturity is just not there. Along with all the other things they both stated by the end of the book. And I mean, at the end of the day, they did about the queerest thing you could do. Subverting society's expectations of relationships and doing your own damn thing and being well proud of it.
Okay essay over now time for some quicker points.
The fact that they continued the James Royce-Royce gag by them having a baby they named James (Baby J for clarity) was hilarious. Baby J could fall in love with someone named James Royce-Royce, get married, hyphenate their last names so it's James Royce-Royce-Royce-Royce, and I'd still be cackling.
I liked Luc's small moments of maturity but the fact that he has to actively try and be a decent person (as in "makes vegan french toast for grieving boyfriend to get a good grade in boyfriend") is kind of telling? And he does still have this victim complex which in the first book was a funny "haha self-deprecating humor I get it" thing but is now a "dude grow the hell up you have the resources to improve and you'd rather wallow in your own self-hatred which inconveniences the people around you and not in a quirky way" thing. Seriously dude. Do better.
Good discussion they had about Rhys' girlfriend Ana with an N and what sex-work is about.
The writing voice is still so unique and brilliant and, while annoying at times, is very terribly relatable, could've been plucked out of my high school group chat to be honest.
God I'm exhausted. Goodbye.