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communicatrix 's review for:
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High
by Kerry Patterson
UPDATED 1/9/14: So, that self-evaluation? I'm not sure how it's necessary. There's plenty to be gained from the examples of communication gone awry, and methods for getting it back on track. I wish there'd been fewer acronyms and more examples; so far, my favorite book on communication (by FAR) is How to Talk So Children Will Listen (And Listen So Children Will Talk). Also, this is nutrient-dense—I'm guessing most of us would need a long time working this material, tool by tool, to get serious value out of it. The authors discuss this, and come up with sort of a plan for doing just that, or maybe more of a mindset for approaching integrating the material into conversations. No substitute for action!
All in all, though, a great alternative to Nonviolent Communication, if you want one. The concepts are very similar (finding common ground first, "holding the space", and so on), but the examples are a little hipper and more relevant, and there is zero horrible poetry.
OLD BIT FROM WHENEVER I PUT IT DOWN THE FIRST TIME: This was shaping up as a terrific book on communication, living up to the praise heaped upon it by two dramatically different sources, both of whom I respect and admire for their work in this area. But I hit one of those self-evaluation thingies and it stopped me cold: I have a really hard time with honest and accurate self-evaluation in areas that bump up against my distorted self-image. So back to the stack it goes, to tackle another day, when I have more self-understanding (and compassion) under my belt.
All in all, though, a great alternative to Nonviolent Communication, if you want one. The concepts are very similar (finding common ground first, "holding the space", and so on), but the examples are a little hipper and more relevant, and there is zero horrible poetry.
OLD BIT FROM WHENEVER I PUT IT DOWN THE FIRST TIME: This was shaping up as a terrific book on communication, living up to the praise heaped upon it by two dramatically different sources, both of whom I respect and admire for their work in this area. But I hit one of those self-evaluation thingies and it stopped me cold: I have a really hard time with honest and accurate self-evaluation in areas that bump up against my distorted self-image. So back to the stack it goes, to tackle another day, when I have more self-understanding (and compassion) under my belt.