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A review by josiahdegraaf
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman
4.0
I've been familiar with the concept of the five love languages for a while, and didn't know how much this short book would add to my understanding of them. While there weren't many additional insights this book gave me on that subject, however, the insights it made were very helpful. I'd always thought my primary love language was quality time, but this book helped me realize it was actually a dialect of words of affirmation! So the nuances that Chapman makes in this book, while only nuances, were pretty helpful and made this short read very much worth it.
I will say that Chapman does at times seem to talk like love languages can fix matters that are really sin issues. There are several examples (including one of an abusive marriage) where a knowledge of love language is presented as fixing the situation. And I take serious issue with that, since sin and especially abuse issues are not normally fixed by love languages. Understanding this might be able to help many aspects of a marriage. But sometimes heart change is needed, and I wish that Chapman would have been more careful with his examples and more knowledgeable in this book about abuse and how it works. I get that he's writing to most marriages, and most marriages don't have serious sin issues like that, but for people in situations like that, this needs to be addressed.
At the end of the day, this book is one I both found helpful and had some concerns with due to a few of its examples. It's valuable to read, but it's also valuable to read with discernment.
Rating: 3.5-4 Stars (Good).
I will say that Chapman does at times seem to talk like love languages can fix matters that are really sin issues. There are several examples (including one of an abusive marriage) where a knowledge of love language is presented as fixing the situation. And I take serious issue with that, since sin and especially abuse issues are not normally fixed by love languages. Understanding this might be able to help many aspects of a marriage. But sometimes heart change is needed, and I wish that Chapman would have been more careful with his examples and more knowledgeable in this book about abuse and how it works. I get that he's writing to most marriages, and most marriages don't have serious sin issues like that, but for people in situations like that, this needs to be addressed.
At the end of the day, this book is one I both found helpful and had some concerns with due to a few of its examples. It's valuable to read, but it's also valuable to read with discernment.
Rating: 3.5-4 Stars (Good).