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A review by ibeeeg
We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations That Matter by Celeste Headlee
4.0
“The attempt to change somebody’s mind is the death of good conversation.”
The ability to hold good conversations has become important to me; the skill for both listening and speaking is one that I would like to sharpen.
I came across We Need To Talk via a podcast where I heard the author speak of her work. She made a positive impression. I became curious about her book. The book did not disappoint.
Within the pages I found many good and practical pointers to improve conversation for both speaking and listening. The author’s writing style appealed, and her voice throughout made the information presented very accesible. I came away from the book with many quotes and ideas to apply to my daily life. This does not mean my conversation skills improved overnight as that’s a constant work in progress. Rather, I now have a clearer idea on what to keep in mind, where I can improve, and which steps to take over time. This is a book to return to periodically. There is a lot of good stuff to take in.
A few quotes:
“Through my experience and research, I’ve identified five key strategies that help facilitate a productive dialogue. They are: be curious, check your bias, show respect, stay the course, and end well.” p63
“The most basic of all human needs,” said Dr. Ralph Nichols, who pioneered the study of listening, “is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” I can say without exaggeration that listening is the most important skill I’ve acquired in my life.” p221
“To experience empathy, we must establish a connection between our idea of ourselves and of another person. We have to ask questions like, “Would I like it if that happened to me?” “How would I feel if someone ran over my mailbox?” p23
The ability to hold good conversations has become important to me; the skill for both listening and speaking is one that I would like to sharpen.
I came across We Need To Talk via a podcast where I heard the author speak of her work. She made a positive impression. I became curious about her book. The book did not disappoint.
Within the pages I found many good and practical pointers to improve conversation for both speaking and listening. The author’s writing style appealed, and her voice throughout made the information presented very accesible. I came away from the book with many quotes and ideas to apply to my daily life. This does not mean my conversation skills improved overnight as that’s a constant work in progress. Rather, I now have a clearer idea on what to keep in mind, where I can improve, and which steps to take over time. This is a book to return to periodically. There is a lot of good stuff to take in.
A few quotes:
“Through my experience and research, I’ve identified five key strategies that help facilitate a productive dialogue. They are: be curious, check your bias, show respect, stay the course, and end well.” p63
“The most basic of all human needs,” said Dr. Ralph Nichols, who pioneered the study of listening, “is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” I can say without exaggeration that listening is the most important skill I’ve acquired in my life.” p221
“To experience empathy, we must establish a connection between our idea of ourselves and of another person. We have to ask questions like, “Would I like it if that happened to me?” “How would I feel if someone ran over my mailbox?” p23