Scan barcode
A review by neilrcoulter
Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality by Wesley Hill
5.0
I was looking for books on the topic of Christianity and homosexuality. To be honest, I haven't had many personal encounters with this issue--I haven't known many openly gay people, Christian or not, nor have I been pushed to give an opinion on homosexuality and the church. However, events during the past year in America have forced the issue, and I feel that its irresponsible for a Christian to be uninformed. No longer can I get along with second-hand, half-formed opinions. So, as usual when I want to learn something, I turn to books (not exclusively, and not to aver that books are necessarily the best way to learn about a complex issue). And as I searched online for worthwhile books about homosexuality and Christianity, Wes Hill's Washed and Waiting appeared at the top of a number of lists.
I expected to learn something from Hill about the experience of a gay Christian--and certainly I did get that from Hill. But I didn't expect to be personally challenged and inspired in how I live my own life in faith. Hill begins with his own life, but from his experiences he draws the reader into contemplation on the right way to live as a Christian. I especially enjoyed his thoughts on the idea of self, or personhood. Hill believes that the current discussion about the "homosexual lifestyle" and the choices open to a homosexual Christian is very much about where our concept of the self comes from. Are we autonomous, individual beings? If so, then it makes perfect sense to do what fulfills us as individuals; for the homosexual Christian, this most likely means living in a committed, monogamous same-sex relationship. But if our selfhood comes from our relationship to others, then we are accountable to a wider community, not merely our own individual desires. And as Christians if we truly believe that we belong to a loving God, then our identity comes from God's constant love. Out of this discussion, Hill wrestles with whether we as humans are most fulfilled in a marriage relationship, or whether there is another way of realizing fulfilled selfhood and identity. He concludes that it's wrong to idolize the marriage relationship as necessarily the ultimate fulfillment of human relationship needs. Rather, the New Testament seems to offer the church itself as the community in which we truly find ourselves.
Still, Hill wonders why he has to live a life seemingly destined for loneliness, since he believes his homosexual desires are contrary to God's expectations for human love. His conclusion is that even though his preferences are confusing, contradictory, and seemingly unfair, a celibate life is his act of worship and obedience to God. Rather than pity himself, he considers that every person has inclinations that are contrary to God's law, and we all daily commit to living as we believe God wants us to, even when that goes against what our desires tell us. Homosexuality is an extreme and challenging cross to bear, but Hill is willing to make that difficult commitment. I admire him, and I'm grateful for the ways he challenged me in my own daily struggles. At the heart of Hill's musings is not a cold adherence to some set of impersonal cosmic laws, but rather a perspective of gratitude and love toward a God who always reaches out to us in love.
I'm not expressing any of this very clearly, I know, but Hill puts his thoughts together in a logical, coherent way. Washed and Waiting is a pleasure to read (though achingly sad), and in its very short length (the whole book can be read in just a couple sittings) I was led through a great deal of contemplation and reflection. I know Hill's conclusions will be contested by other gay Christians who have made different choices, and by non-Christians who don't have a basis from which to understand what he is talking about (he was raised in a Fundamentalist background, attended Wheaton College, and has spent his early adulthood in a variety of ministry and church settings), but I hope it will be accepted as at least one valid viewpoint--and a challenging one, at that.
One final thought: throughout the book, Hill references friends who spent time with him in conversation and written correspondence. He looks back at a number of moments as pivotal in his understanding of God's love. As I read excerpts of these letters from his friends, I was struck by how many wise and thoughtful people Hill has known. And I was challenged to try to be that kind of friend to whoever comes into my life. May I not be flippant or hasty, but may I always take the time to really think and pray with my friends, to truly be present with them.
I expected to learn something from Hill about the experience of a gay Christian--and certainly I did get that from Hill. But I didn't expect to be personally challenged and inspired in how I live my own life in faith. Hill begins with his own life, but from his experiences he draws the reader into contemplation on the right way to live as a Christian. I especially enjoyed his thoughts on the idea of self, or personhood. Hill believes that the current discussion about the "homosexual lifestyle" and the choices open to a homosexual Christian is very much about where our concept of the self comes from. Are we autonomous, individual beings? If so, then it makes perfect sense to do what fulfills us as individuals; for the homosexual Christian, this most likely means living in a committed, monogamous same-sex relationship. But if our selfhood comes from our relationship to others, then we are accountable to a wider community, not merely our own individual desires. And as Christians if we truly believe that we belong to a loving God, then our identity comes from God's constant love. Out of this discussion, Hill wrestles with whether we as humans are most fulfilled in a marriage relationship, or whether there is another way of realizing fulfilled selfhood and identity. He concludes that it's wrong to idolize the marriage relationship as necessarily the ultimate fulfillment of human relationship needs. Rather, the New Testament seems to offer the church itself as the community in which we truly find ourselves.
Still, Hill wonders why he has to live a life seemingly destined for loneliness, since he believes his homosexual desires are contrary to God's expectations for human love. His conclusion is that even though his preferences are confusing, contradictory, and seemingly unfair, a celibate life is his act of worship and obedience to God. Rather than pity himself, he considers that every person has inclinations that are contrary to God's law, and we all daily commit to living as we believe God wants us to, even when that goes against what our desires tell us. Homosexuality is an extreme and challenging cross to bear, but Hill is willing to make that difficult commitment. I admire him, and I'm grateful for the ways he challenged me in my own daily struggles. At the heart of Hill's musings is not a cold adherence to some set of impersonal cosmic laws, but rather a perspective of gratitude and love toward a God who always reaches out to us in love.
I'm not expressing any of this very clearly, I know, but Hill puts his thoughts together in a logical, coherent way. Washed and Waiting is a pleasure to read (though achingly sad), and in its very short length (the whole book can be read in just a couple sittings) I was led through a great deal of contemplation and reflection. I know Hill's conclusions will be contested by other gay Christians who have made different choices, and by non-Christians who don't have a basis from which to understand what he is talking about (he was raised in a Fundamentalist background, attended Wheaton College, and has spent his early adulthood in a variety of ministry and church settings), but I hope it will be accepted as at least one valid viewpoint--and a challenging one, at that.
One final thought: throughout the book, Hill references friends who spent time with him in conversation and written correspondence. He looks back at a number of moments as pivotal in his understanding of God's love. As I read excerpts of these letters from his friends, I was struck by how many wise and thoughtful people Hill has known. And I was challenged to try to be that kind of friend to whoever comes into my life. May I not be flippant or hasty, but may I always take the time to really think and pray with my friends, to truly be present with them.