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A review by atwoodcc
The Wives by Simone Gorrindo
4.0
There are many military spouses taking issue with this book, and I agree with some of their arguments… and I think they also must have missed the changes of this author’s perspective over the years too.
In general, I’ve used the theory of Marginality and Mattering (Schlossberg) to explain my military spouse experience in an academic setting. This book gave my explanation so much credibility. This author articulates what it’s like to have 0 military background, grow up in a more liberal setting, and then marry someone who has a “service before self” mentality - even when the reason for the war is questionable. I found this memoir completely enrapturing because, despite the fact that my husband serves in a position completely different from the author’s, the anxiety and questioning of, “what the hell am I doing in this relationship?!” is too authentic to put down.
I don’t think the titling was right for this book. Yes, the other military spouses are unquestionably important to Simone, but it’s not really about those friendships. I would need to think for a long time to come up with a better title for this, but I lean towards “Just a Wife,” because she references this language as being quite pervasive in their setting and how people use it to minimize the spouse experience.
Anyway… If you want a look into what the social life of a military spouse is like, or what types of arguments military service can cause, or the anxiety and anguish that is linked to being the one left at home, then I would hands down recommend this book.
In general, I’ve used the theory of Marginality and Mattering (Schlossberg) to explain my military spouse experience in an academic setting. This book gave my explanation so much credibility. This author articulates what it’s like to have 0 military background, grow up in a more liberal setting, and then marry someone who has a “service before self” mentality - even when the reason for the war is questionable. I found this memoir completely enrapturing because, despite the fact that my husband serves in a position completely different from the author’s, the anxiety and questioning of, “what the hell am I doing in this relationship?!” is too authentic to put down.
I don’t think the titling was right for this book. Yes, the other military spouses are unquestionably important to Simone, but it’s not really about those friendships. I would need to think for a long time to come up with a better title for this, but I lean towards “Just a Wife,” because she references this language as being quite pervasive in their setting and how people use it to minimize the spouse experience.
Anyway… If you want a look into what the social life of a military spouse is like, or what types of arguments military service can cause, or the anxiety and anguish that is linked to being the one left at home, then I would hands down recommend this book.