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A review by ahbartlett
Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney
4.0
Bookclub said this book was a 2/5 but I think it is closer to a 4/5. Are all of the characters frustrating? Yes. Do they all go into seemingly spontaneous rants about modern society and politics that are just an insert of Rooney’s own beliefs? Yes. Are all the characters bourgeois communists in a way that doesn’t feel entirely self-aware? Also yes. This is a Sally Rooney book after all, and you must accept these things at the offset to have any chance of enjoying the book.
Rooney’s characters in Normal People and in Beautiful World Where Are You never felt very real to me - they’re all sort of confused, emotionally unavailable, learned millennials. In Conversations with Friends, each character had a distinct voice and personality that enriched their confusion, emotionally unavailability, and learnedness. All characters included were consistently the worst, but their behaviour made sense within the context of their personalities and pasts.
Conversations with Friends is in some ways a case study of how political ideology and one’s emotional life don’t necessarily overlap. Relationship anarchy is complementary with Frances’ communism, yet we see her anxious, self-harming, and self-isolating as a result of her relationship with Nick - even after they admit their adultery to Melissa and Bobbi. A life lived in line with political utopia does not necessarily lead to emotional liberation; that revelation is perhaps what makes the book “realer” than its depiction of messy relationships for me.
Bookclub was critical of the lack of development of the characters, but I also sort of see this as the point. Self-development is often minuscule, incremental, two steps forward and one step backwards. Why would everything be nicely wrapped up in a book capturing a few months of these characters lives? Frances very much embodies realistic self-growth at the end of the book - she is starting to be able to admit her shame, and this in time will eventually set her free, but not quite yet.
Rooney’s characters in Normal People and in Beautiful World Where Are You never felt very real to me - they’re all sort of confused, emotionally unavailable, learned millennials. In Conversations with Friends, each character had a distinct voice and personality that enriched their confusion, emotionally unavailability, and learnedness. All characters included were consistently the worst, but their behaviour made sense within the context of their personalities and pasts.
Conversations with Friends is in some ways a case study of how political ideology and one’s emotional life don’t necessarily overlap. Relationship anarchy is complementary with Frances’ communism, yet we see her anxious, self-harming, and self-isolating as a result of her relationship with Nick - even after they admit their adultery to Melissa and Bobbi. A life lived in line with political utopia does not necessarily lead to emotional liberation; that revelation is perhaps what makes the book “realer” than its depiction of messy relationships for me.
Bookclub was critical of the lack of development of the characters, but I also sort of see this as the point. Self-development is often minuscule, incremental, two steps forward and one step backwards. Why would everything be nicely wrapped up in a book capturing a few months of these characters lives? Frances very much embodies realistic self-growth at the end of the book - she is starting to be able to admit her shame, and this in time will eventually set her free, but not quite yet.