madlyreads 's review for:

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

5.0

challenging dark emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

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To give this anything other than a 5 star rating would be absurd. I read this, knowing what i was getting into. I read this because of a youtuber I saw do commentary on it, saying she was also abused and groomed and that this book was very beautifully written and powerful. I agree it was definitely very powerful. 

I felt every emotion Vanessa experienced, understood the doubt she had, the confusion she felt. It was beautiful, it was traumatizing. It was so very very accurate. 

He made her feel like he loved her. That he would die without her, when in reality she was just another person, girl,child he could manipulate into giving him what he wanted. Who knows how long he was doing this before he met her. How many actual kids got taken advantage of afterwards.

I understand, her confusion on why she felt their abuse was nothing compared to hers. She knew deep down she had been abused. A smart girl, he knew that too thats why he couldn’t be away from and risk her  figuring out just how bad this is for her. Figuring out she needed to get out.

I feel bad for the people who cared about her. Who tried to help her see that she was dealt a horrible hand. Groomed by a man, who shouldve known better. Ira was perfect but he didn’t need to mess with his mental health in order to convince her she needed help. He made the right choice moving on. 

I will think about this book forever. I will read books that were mentioned in this book and try to make the connections Vanessa did. The connections Kate did. This meant so much to me and to so many victims of abuse and grooming. This was more than a book in many ways. More than fiction. Thank you for making this, Kate.