A review by samantita
By the Time You Read This: The Space between Cheslie's Smile and Mental Illness―Her Story in Her Own Words by April Simpkins

It's hard to give this book a rating given the circumstances that surround its publication. These are essentially Cheslie's last words, the ones she wanted the world to read, but they don't feel like last words. She talks about the challenges she faced in pageants, her career, and her relationships. But sort of ends each challenge with the lesson she took away from it. She mentioned once or twice that she suffered from depression, but nothing in her part of the book led me to believe that she would take her own life.

This may be a case of mismanaged expectations. I read this book because I lost a friend to suicide, so I guess I was hoping to gain some insight into Cheslie's thoughts -- the ones that led her to end her life. I didn't get that, but I appreciate that April honored Cheslie's request in publishing this book. Reading Cheslie's suicide message was absolutely heart-shattering. I could not fathom reading that as a parent.