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A review by goblinhearted
Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir
5.0
I don’t typically read sci-fi or fantasy books so picking this up after its recommendation was a stretch for my comfort zone. How could I not be sold on the classic pitch, “lesbian necromancers in space”?
The novel is narrated by Gideon Nav, a super charismatic and witty lesbian who loves swords, working out, and reading magazines with scandily-clad necromancers. She is an indentured servant to the heir of the House of the Ninth, which is basically a cold, dark planet. The Ninth House’s necromantic specialty is bones (cue a million and one bone puns) and it has a storied, dark and complicated past which resulted in Gideon and Harrowhark Nonagesimus (the heir to the house) being the only two children of their generation to grow up together. They have a relationship which can only be described as somewhere between hate and obsession with one another.
The novel is narrated by Gideon Nav, a super charismatic and witty lesbian who loves swords, working out, and reading magazines with scandily-clad necromancers. She is an indentured servant to the heir of the House of the Ninth, which is basically a cold, dark planet. The Ninth House’s necromantic specialty is bones (cue a million and one bone puns) and it has a storied, dark and complicated past which resulted in Gideon and Harrowhark Nonagesimus (the heir to the house) being the only two children of their generation to grow up together. They have a relationship which can only be described as somewhere between hate and obsession with one another.
“Nonagesimus,” [Gideon] said slowly, “the only job I’d do for you would be if you wanted someone to hold the sword as you fell on it. The only job I’d do for you would be if you wanted your ass kicked so hard, the Locked Tomb opened and a parade came out to sing, ‘Lo! A destructed ass.’ The only job I’d do would be if you wanted me to spot you while you backflipped off the top tier into Drearburh.”
“That’s three jobs,” said Harrowhark.
Gideon wants nothing more than to be set free and to be allowed to leave the planet. She has tried running away countless times without success. Harrow makes Gideon a deal: if she accompanies her to a competition as essentially her bodyguard/fighter or "cavalier" then after it’s over, Gideon will be set free.
The bulk of the novel takes place during the competition, where we get to learn about the other eight Houses, who have also each sent one representative pair of a necromancer/cavalier pair. We learn about each planet’s personality types, roles and necromantic specialties. There are a lot of characters and complexities which makes it difficult to keep track of who is who, so it’s handy to have a spoiler-free list.
A lot of chaos ensues as the novel hovers between fantasy, sci-fi, horror and a little murder mystery as a treat.
As time goes on, it becomes clear that Gideon and Harrow need to at least try to work together, but… it’s almost physically painful for them to be nice to each other.
“Don't die in a bone. I am your creature, gloom mistress. I serve you with fidelity as big as a mountain, penumbral lady."
Harrow's eyes flickered open. "Stop."
"I am your sworn sword, night boss."
"Fine," said Harrow heavily.
Gideon's mouth was about to round out the words "bone empress" before she realised what had been said.
This novel (and series) has some very camp moments that reference internet memes or overly-millennial-dialogue but like, (I never thought I would say this) good ones - it pulls them off in a genuinely entertaining way. (I should mention as an aside here that the author of this book has been writing fanfiction from a young age. Some of her Homestuck fanfics are still available online somewhere. I feel like she must have grown up in the same circles of the internet that I frequented in my past, for better or for worse lmao, but she manages to distill that sort of atmosphere, in the best way possible, as comic relief in her books.) A few examples of these vibes are below.
"While we were developing common sense, she studied the blade.”
and,
Gideon was experiencing one powerful emotion: being sick of everyone’s shit.”
and...
He had the eyes of a very beautiful person, trapped in resting bitch face.
There is so much to say about this book. It’s not a romance, or a YA (Young Adult) novel. It has some pretty dark and tragic scenes. It’s dense book with a lot going on that doesn’t fully make sense until the final quarter of the book. Since the novel is told from Gideon's POV and Gideon is left in the dark about a lot of stuff, this makes sense. It’s the type of book that benefits from multiple re-reads, or at least watching some (spoiler-free) video essays or reading some forum threads afterward.
This is only the first book in a series of four. After finishing, I immediately picked up the next book Harrow the Ninth which I proceeded to love about a thousand times more if that’s even possible.
I enjoy a lot of books, but this one has been the most fun I’ve had reading in a long time.
"Nav, show them what the Ninth House does."
Gideon lifted her sword... "We do bones, motherfucker."