A review by sharanyaaguha
A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

dark emotional mysterious sad tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0


I finished reading A Little Life a couple of days back. And oh my god. How can a book be so sad yet so beautiful yet so meaningful all at the same time? 

I have no words for the book. I am angry at JB even though he had his reasons - for falling in love with Willem and being jealous of Jude because Willem never loved him the way he loved Jude.

I am sorry and thankful for Malcolm, for understanding Jude's needs without letting him speak, for being a friend and watching out for him. 

My heart breaks for Willem, for being the best of the best friend anyone could have, for being the perfect lover, without demands, so selfless, so pure. Your friendship with Jude turned to love, and I am grateful for you that it did. Had it not been so, Jude would have never wanted to live. You gave him a reason Willem, to live, to stay. And with you passing away, he lost the reason as well.

Harold, loosing your kid has been the hardest goodbye you ever said, but loosing Jude was more painful isn't it? You found in Jude what you couldn't in Jacob, Jude was what you wanted Jacob to be. He was your son, and you didn't fail. You have tried all long as you could, as hard as you could. But sometimes the pain, the hurt, the suffering needs to stop and he needed it.

And Jude, my sweet boy Jude. Will you believe me if i tell you that you didn't deserve everything you went through? will you believe me if i tell you it wasn't your fault? will you believe me if i tell you you're not dirty? will you believe me if I tell you, you deserve to be happy? Will you believe me if I tell you Harold needs you? Will you believe me if I tell you I love you? Will you let me hold you Jude? Will you wrap your arms around me and cry as much as you want to if I come hug you? Jude, my Jude. There are not enough words in this universe to describe what I feel for you. You are everything Jude, everything. If only I could hold you and tell you it was okay. If only.....

I won't tell you what you did was wrong. I believe you had every right to do so. No one deserves to go through the pain of everything you went through. You held yourself as long as you could - for Harold, and I respect you for that. Every time you found the shore, you were dragged into the ocean and forced to sink. I am glad you stopped trying Jude. The peace of drowning in the water once and for all is better than the pain of struggling to stay afloat. Wherever you are, I hope you  are happy. 

And Richard, Andy and all those who took care of my Jude, thank you. You are the kind of people the world needs more of. I hope you guys are happy wherever you are and found peace. 

And lastly thanks to the author, Hanya Yanagihara, for writing a book that I'll remember everyday for the rest of my life.
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