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A review by midgardener
Archibald Finch and the Lost Witches by Michel Guyon
2.0
I decided to stop reading on page 15. After reading reviews, admiring the cover art, and finding a copy at a local library, I was happy to pick it up and start reading one dark autumn night. It was with genuine disappointment that I closed the book sans bookmark; I can't recall the last time I did so, and had to make a new Shelf for the occasion.
The issue here is not the plot, though I haven't even gotten into it beyond "family inherits spooky mansion". Rather, it is the writing. Other reviewers have lauded Guyon's writing, indeed, going so far as to compare the book as a whole to Harry Potter, and promising it as the "next big thing." While I never reached the fantasy world he created, I don't think reading through the entire book in order to find that world would be worth it. To flip a saying Guyon references early on, the sight would not be worth the journey.
Let's delve into a couple specifics, because I despise doling out such harsh criticism without good reason.
Firstly. There is an em dash present within almost all of the paragraphs. Perhaps half of them are well employed, but the other half suffer from ill placements that jerk around the flow of the writing. Even without those poorly-placed ones, however, there would still be too many for comfort. Em dashes, ellipses, and semi-colons have a definite place in writing, but must be used only when necessary. Otherwise, as evidenced here, the flow becomes spoiled.
Secondly. There wasn't an awful lot of dialogue in the pages I read, but there was enough to deem it flawed. Missing commas, odd capitalizations, ineffective adverb usage, and statements which came off as unnatural. A few examples are as follows:
"Okay he's scared of the dark, most kids are." (9)
"This is slightly bigger than the Pine tree we had last year!" (12)
"Door knobs for giants and now this? An elevator for elves!" (15)
"Thanks for the heads-up," he says ironically. (15)
Sometimes these same flaws make themselves known in the narrative as well, but, on the whole, they keep to the dialogue. The narration itself isn't poor, in fact; it moves along and does a good job describing the odd house Archibald has found himself in. It does, however, seem a little slapstick at times, which is at odds with the spooky atmosphere the mansion lets off.
It's worth noting that I assigned two stars to this review, and not one. That's because a younger reader might find the intrigue of the mansion, Archibald's peculiar knowledge abilities, and the very premise enough to keep reading, nevermind the writing style. This book isn't atrocious; it's simply not good, and there are far too many good books to read in this wide world.
Another note is that, while reading and watching my critiques take form, I tried to bear in mind that Guyon was not born in a country where English is the primary language. That being said, this book wasn't translated, and most of it would convince me that he is a master of the language. Thus, there should have been knowledge enough between the author, his readers, and (for heaven's sake) his editor to discover and remedy the flaws now published.
If the other reviews of this book entice you enough to check it out, I hope you enjoy it! I do not enjoy providing negative reviews, and wish Guyon all the best in sharpening his craft and continuing to find a welcoming audience.
The issue here is not the plot, though I haven't even gotten into it beyond "family inherits spooky mansion". Rather, it is the writing. Other reviewers have lauded Guyon's writing, indeed, going so far as to compare the book as a whole to Harry Potter, and promising it as the "next big thing." While I never reached the fantasy world he created, I don't think reading through the entire book in order to find that world would be worth it. To flip a saying Guyon references early on, the sight would not be worth the journey.
Let's delve into a couple specifics, because I despise doling out such harsh criticism without good reason.
Firstly. There is an em dash present within almost all of the paragraphs. Perhaps half of them are well employed, but the other half suffer from ill placements that jerk around the flow of the writing. Even without those poorly-placed ones, however, there would still be too many for comfort. Em dashes, ellipses, and semi-colons have a definite place in writing, but must be used only when necessary. Otherwise, as evidenced here, the flow becomes spoiled.
Secondly. There wasn't an awful lot of dialogue in the pages I read, but there was enough to deem it flawed. Missing commas, odd capitalizations, ineffective adverb usage, and statements which came off as unnatural. A few examples are as follows:
"Okay he's scared of the dark, most kids are." (9)
"This is slightly bigger than the Pine tree we had last year!" (12)
"Door knobs for giants and now this? An elevator for elves!" (15)
"Thanks for the heads-up," he says ironically. (15)
Sometimes these same flaws make themselves known in the narrative as well, but, on the whole, they keep to the dialogue. The narration itself isn't poor, in fact; it moves along and does a good job describing the odd house Archibald has found himself in. It does, however, seem a little slapstick at times, which is at odds with the spooky atmosphere the mansion lets off.
It's worth noting that I assigned two stars to this review, and not one. That's because a younger reader might find the intrigue of the mansion, Archibald's peculiar knowledge abilities, and the very premise enough to keep reading, nevermind the writing style. This book isn't atrocious; it's simply not good, and there are far too many good books to read in this wide world.
Another note is that, while reading and watching my critiques take form, I tried to bear in mind that Guyon was not born in a country where English is the primary language. That being said, this book wasn't translated, and most of it would convince me that he is a master of the language. Thus, there should have been knowledge enough between the author, his readers, and (for heaven's sake) his editor to discover and remedy the flaws now published.
If the other reviews of this book entice you enough to check it out, I hope you enjoy it! I do not enjoy providing negative reviews, and wish Guyon all the best in sharpening his craft and continuing to find a welcoming audience.