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A review by rbruehlman
Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney
4.0
I wish I could give this 3.5 stars instead, because I think it deserves a 3, but I have too many reservations for 4.
I liked that this book had no clean-cut ending. It's messy, just like life, and I like stories that don't neatly tie everything up where everyone is happy and hunky-dory. I also liked that the characters had flaws. Not in a "ugh this character sucks" kind of way, but ... people aren't perfect. Bobbi was annoying, but she was also a good person. Nick and Melissa had a fraught marriage, but neither wanted to leave the other. It happens.
I think what bothered me about the book was that Frances felt ... like Sally Rooney herself. A self-insert. I've never read a book with such a self-loathing character where self-loathing was nailed so accurately. There is no way, in my opinion, Sally Rooney could have written such a self-loathing character unless she, herself, knows what it is like to think that way, because self-esteem that low is wholly irrational and inexplicable to those who don't think that way (ask me how I know). I wondered, how much is this character uniquely Frances, and how much is actually Sally Rooney talking as Frances? It made for an unsettling and interesting read, but, by the same token, I also don't feel like I want to read another Sally Rooney book. I suspect she writes about miserable, self-hating characters because it's what she knows how to write--it's somewhat autobiographical--and I wasn't convinced reading the book that she knows how to write characters separate from herself.
I liked that this book had no clean-cut ending. It's messy, just like life, and I like stories that don't neatly tie everything up where everyone is happy and hunky-dory. I also liked that the characters had flaws. Not in a "ugh this character sucks" kind of way, but ... people aren't perfect. Bobbi was annoying, but she was also a good person. Nick and Melissa had a fraught marriage, but neither wanted to leave the other. It happens.
I think what bothered me about the book was that Frances felt ... like Sally Rooney herself. A self-insert. I've never read a book with such a self-loathing character where self-loathing was nailed so accurately. There is no way, in my opinion, Sally Rooney could have written such a self-loathing character unless she, herself, knows what it is like to think that way, because self-esteem that low is wholly irrational and inexplicable to those who don't think that way (ask me how I know). I wondered, how much is this character uniquely Frances, and how much is actually Sally Rooney talking as Frances? It made for an unsettling and interesting read, but, by the same token, I also don't feel like I want to read another Sally Rooney book. I suspect she writes about miserable, self-hating characters because it's what she knows how to write--it's somewhat autobiographical--and I wasn't convinced reading the book that she knows how to write characters separate from herself.