nyquillll 's review for:

Dotted Lines by Devney Perry

3.5

adventurous emotional hopeful reflective sad tense slow-paced

Plot or Character Driven: Plot

Strong character development: Complicated

Loveable characters: Yes

Diverse cast of characters: Complicated

Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated

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I think this might have been one of my favorites of the series, just because we finally get to learn more about the Runaways' history in the junkyard. Though, I think it was a bit hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that I think the whole book takes place in the span of a week or so?

Like they reconnect, he learns she has a kid, they unpack and we get flashbacks to the past, we learn he was her first, flash forward and they visit the junkyard together, they share moments, she finds out he is already currently dating someone, yearning yearning yearning, he realizes he loves her and breaks up with his girlfriend, runs back to Clara and they run off together.

While I was for the flashbacks and seeing how they developed feelings for each other as teenagers, I also wish we had more of their story as adults of how that teenage love evolved into more of an adult love. 

I did appreciate how the book touched on toxic family situations, reasons why someone might feel their only option is to run away from home, the strength it takes to be a good single parent, the joy and pureness a child can bring to your life - how you can discover a depth of love and adoration previously unknown, navigating falling for someone who once dated someone you know, trying to gauge whether someone likes you as more than a friend or not, healing parts of you that were damaged in childhood so that you can be more whole as an adult, confronting your past, returning to a place that meant so much to you but you are now a completely different person, how time apart can help us grow into different versions of ourselves that are healthier for us and healthier for the people around us, doing the work to break generational trauma and create a better life for yourself and your kid, and the peace that comes with finding the thing you lost and being brave enough to say you want it back.

I'm curious to read the first two books in the series to see how it lays out the five women and their stories and just to jump back into the world. I will say, the epilogue in the last book was so satisfying - because it not only gave us a glimpse into the lives of Clara and Karson, but it also shows us all the other Runaways and their significant others, as well as the next generation of kids (who are all grown up). More and more I'm thinking about what my life will look like when I'm older and the friends I hope to still have around me - so the fact that they all kept in touch and that all their kids knew one another (and some had even fallen in love) was very touching. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abandonment

Moderate: Child abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Stalking, Sexual harassment

Quotes I highlighted:

"...couldn't wait to see what he'd do with all the facts he was storing in his head for later."

"When he was younger, I'd told him he had magical powers. That if he smiled, I smiled. Every time. That was his magic, and he used it often."

"August's second toe was longer than his big toe, something he'd also inherited from me. He was mine."

"This boy would never know how grateful I was for his questions. He'd never know that he kept me grounded. He kept me sane. He kept me going."

"Aria wanted to believe there was an adult in this world who looked out for us. Maybe she was right and Lou did care. Part of me wanted to believe it too because we'd never really know."

"It was rare that any of us got sick, but it was terrifying when we did. There were no moms here who knew what to do. No doctors to call and ask for advice."

"Aria thinks he loves us." "He does. In his own way."

""Whenever Lou got the mail, anything addressed to us kids was left in the shop's bathroom for us to find.

"'Come smell me.' Aria emerged from the maze, her hair wet and a towel looped over her arm. 'Why am I smelling you?' 'Because I smell awesome.'"

"I love that it smells like a flower. From now on, that's going to be my smell."

"IF that was what I could do for him, make him laugh, then I was calling tonight a success."

"Maybe the stars were the lost souls of the ones we'd loved. Maybe two of those stars were for my parents."

"I crashed early. This book wasn't good enough to stay up late with."

"The man only had so much to give, though what he'd given us had been enough."

"Nearly three years of peanut butter and honey sandwiches, eating whatever our respective restaurants would give us and spending next to nothing, all so we could have a decent shot at a future."

"I'm not ready to leave you yet."

"I love you, Lou. Thank you. Clara."

"'I didn't think I'd be sad,' Aria said as we both stood outside the truck. I had. I'd known this would hurt."

"'Thank you,' I said to the truck, my chin quivering. Thank you for being our home. Thank you for being our refuge. Thank you for keeping us safe."

"To a junkyard where I'd once fallen for a girl with pretty brown eyes. This girl."

"It could have been fifty years. A hundred. I will always know you."

"Something inside me clicked. A piece snapped into place. A worry disappeared."

"For you? I'll make all the pots in the world. I also have lemonade with lots and lots of ice."

"You were the one who made it safe for us to live at Lou's. You stayed. You protected us."

"'Okay, Mom.' He looked up at her with so much love and admiration. That kid worshipped his mother. Lucky guy. All kids deserved to have a mother like Clara."

"Wonderful, heartbreaking, beautiful misery."

"I'd had to realize that the words she'd once told me were true - that I wasn't toxic to the people in my life. I'd had to grow up."

"I might have run away from my mother, but that didn't mean her words hadn't come to the junkyard with me. It took me a long time to erase them from the back of my mind. To move past them. You were right, what you told me. Wish I had listened. But I needed to figure it out on my own, you know?"

"What I was never good at articulating, Clara could voice perfectly. There was no person on earth who'd gotten me like she always had. She knew it had been my mountain to climb."

"A soul-shattering shake ran through my entire body. The same feeling that had come over me years and years ago while I'd been by her side, staring up at the stars from a rusted Cadillac."

"I'd always loved how Clara listened, not just with her ears but her entire body."

"I still have that book you gave me. I couldn't throw it out."

"August slammed into the table, his hands cupped and ready to receive some change. 'Mom, can I have more quarters?'"

"Gus beamed. 'We learnded about them in school.' 'Learned,' Clara corrected. 'That's what I said.'"

"And only on the last visit had he actually invited me inside his shack."

"'Lou.' Clara pressed a hand to her heart. 'We didn't really know him, did we?' 'No, we didn't,' she whispered, her eyes glassy. August looked up at Clara with worry on his face. 'Mom?' 'I'm okay.' She shook away the sadness and smiled. 'How's your quesadilla?'"

"Tonight. I'd give myself tonight to mourn the loss of Clara again. Then tomorrow I'd let her go. For good this time."

"'Was it real?' I closed my eyes. 'It was real.'"

"'Are you happy, Lonny?' 'So, so happy.' The smile in her voice filled the car."

"'You were the rock.' Clara spoke for Londyn. 'You were the glue. You saved us all when you found that junkyard.'"

"Because if it makes you smile every time you get behind the wheel, then maybe you'll remember that you made me - us - smile through the hardest days. You deserve a lifetime of smiles. So take that car, drive it, and be happy."

"She drew strength from him. He rooted her. She anchored him. They relied on each other."

"Pain from being part of the broken."

"Others when I hoped it looked exactly the same just in case I ever needed it again."

"I didn't expect it to hurt so much. Not having Lou there. Isn't it crazy? We didn't even know the man." "Yeah, we did. We knew what mattered."

"Lou had cared for us in the only way he'd been able. He'd given us a shelter. He'd given us protection. And he'd given us his secrecy. I couldn't have asked more from the man."

"Whatever vine she'd planted had not only survived under Lou's care, but it was growing wild. The far wall of his shack was nearly covered."

"He saw it like a child, as a fort and an adventure. He saw it for what we'd once seen it for too."

"Since she'd come here, I'd only seen her in light colors."

"Funny how I'd needed her to come inside this place. But now that she was here, she didn't really need me. Not when she had August."

"A place that had once felt so vast, like a continent of its own, had been reduced to its three acres by time and age and reality."

"'There was something here. I think that's why Lou left it to you. Because he knew that you needed to come here and be the one to put it to rest.' I almost tripped over my own damn feet. 'How do you do that?' 'Do what?' 'Say what I'm feeling but haven't figured out how to articulate.' Her eyes softened. 'I'm glad we came here.' 'Me too.'"

"Maybe it wouldn't happen, but I liked the idea of this being a place for kids to play. A safe place for future generations, like it had been for me."

"Six letters for the six kids who'd lived here."

"He noticed more than he let on, didn't he?" "I think he noticed everything."

"She clutched it, not holding me back, just holding on."

"We were scared of him as kids. We knew it was wrong but not how to fix it. We should have turned him in."

"Was this why Clara was always looking to him? Because she knew how fast he would change?"

"It took me a long time to learn that she was sick. That she hated herself so much that it was all she knew. That her taking that hate out on me was because I was the only person she had. And it took me a long time to let go of her ghost. To realize I was not the person she told me I was."

"She was the soul on earth I was made to find."

"I left a picture of her beside my bed. Wasn't she a beauty? One look at her and the world made sense."

"The roads to Temecula were nearly deserted as I raced to my Clara."

"There was so much emotion there. Regret for the missed years. Hope for the future."

"A warrior who'd spend his entire life looking out for his mother. From now on, he'd have company on the battlefield."

"Clara wouldn't have been the woman she was if her gaze hadn't shifted away from mine to August. Behind me, August had a beaming smile on his face as he nodded."

"It didn't take me long to realize that no amount of exploring the world would ever be as thrilling as the adventure of living life by Clara's side. She was the soul on earth I was made to find."

"We were circled around a bonfire, the light from the flames flickering over familiar faces. Londyn and Brooks. Gemma and Easton. Katherine and Cash. Aria and Brody. Me and Karson. My friends. My family."

"'It was yesterday.' He chuckled. 'Where is time going? When did we get old?'"

"Our kids had grown up together. We lived in our own worlds and different towns, but at least once a year for the past twenty-three years, we'd come to Montana and spent a week at the Greer Ranch and Mountain Resort."

"In two days, August was marrying Cash and Katherine's oldest daughter."

"It was the first time we'd gathered, just us. The runaways and our loves."

"The day we'd pulled into the lodge's parking lot, everyone else had already been here. They'd descended on the car, greeting it like an old friend."

"Lou usually got a toast at these functions. He'd stuck with us all, decades later, especially since every woman in the circle was wearing a piece of his jewelry. Lou had gifted Hope's jewelry to us all, along with our own respective letters."